


Promises

by Happylady1



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2019-10-21 21:55:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 57,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17650598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Happylady1/pseuds/Happylady1
Summary: Diversion from original Outlander book and tv series.





	1. Realization

**Author's Note:**

> After reading every fan fic I could get my hands on for a few years, I am going in! This is my first writing of any kind. Thank you to thatSoccercoach for walking me through how to get this posted on AO3! You are the best!

PROMISES

 

Chapter 1

 

Claire Randall was done, she had reached the end of her tether.

 

Parking at the bottom of what Mrs. Baird called the Fairy Hill, Claire just now realized it was a beautiful and rare day in the Scottish Highlands, warm and sunny for May 1. Claire began her journey up to the standing stones that her and Frank had visited at dawn that very morning. She had expected to spend the day with her husband, more fool she was. Nothing had gone the way Claire had pictured in her head during the past week. After being separated for six years due to World War II, Frank an officer in a secret division in the British Armed Forces and Claire a combat nurse in the same, had decided to take a trip to reunite and hopefully reignite the spark they had felt earlier in their marriage. Claire had tried to get Frank to talk on their journey from Oxford to Inverness about his experiences in the war, his mental state and future plans. He was fairly closed mouthed, except for his plans to delve into finding more information about his ancestor, Jonathon Wolverton Randall. She had talked and shared her love of nursing and all things health related, her interest in herbs and plants used for healing and ending with how she was hoping to go back to school and become a Doctor, possibly a surgeon. This had quickly led to a heated argument about Frank’s plans for her, basically a stay at home wife and mother and entertaining for other fellow professors at Oxford, the dean and their spouses. Claire and Frank had not used birth control prior to or during their short marriage before being separated by war. While Claire yearned to be a mother, she just didn’t think it was going to happen. Frank had refused all medical testing, putting the blame solely on her shoulders and they had been arguing frequently on this topic before the war separation.

 

Still having hope in her heart at the beginning of this little holiday, those hopes had been ruined. He would not see her side of anything and had scheduled every waking moment of his time to work on his genealogy of the Randall family with his old friend Reverend Wakefield. Claire even had to initiate sex, Frank never approached her and showed very little effort in the whole procedure. Then the icing on the cake had been last night. Once again Frank was coming home late from the Reverend’s when a violent thunderstorm had struck and all power had gone out. Claire made their cozy room at Mrs. Baird’s B & B into a comfortable haven for her husband’s return. Scented candles were lit scattered around the room and fine scotch in pretty cut glass tumblers sat waiting, she was freshly showered and wearing a beautiful flowing cream colored peignoir set. She was hoping for a civil conversation and possibly a compromise with her husband. However, Frank had stormed into the room yelling that he had seen a Scot staring up at her through the second floor window and accused her of infidelity during the war. Claire asked if he had questioned the man, Frank had replied that the Highlander, in full Scottish regalia, had just turned, walked past him and disappeared. Claire assured Frank that she had never been unfaithful, she then asked Frank if he could say the same. A wide eyed look appeared on his face, he gripped his head and told her the storm had brought on a headache, he was going to sleep. But right before he turned away, there was a violence on his face and in his eyes as they had narrowed. His right hand had curled up in a fist as though he was going to strike her. They lay as far apart as possible in the bed last night, his body thrumming with tension and hers in fear.

 

Claire had accompanied Frank to the stones this morning because it was something she found interesting, a Pagan sunrise ceremony. He muttered few words, clearly very frustrated and unhappy with her. Despite the tension, Claire was fascinated by the spectacle of the women calling the sun up over the stones. All dressed in white flowing robes and carrying handmade lighted lanterns covered in a white gauzy material. It was mesmerizing to watch them circle and dance to the arising of the dawn. It was all very mystical and Claire felts chills running the length of her body.

 

After another silent car ride back to Mrs. Baird’s, Frank told her he was walking to the manse, the Reverend’s home, and she could have the car, not asking her of her plans in the least, he clearly didn’t care. Claire had realized over the past week that they had both changed during the war and she could never be they type of wife that he wanted. After seeing so much death and suffering on a personal level, Claire wanted a fulfilling life helping others and if that meant doing it alone, than she would seek a divorce. Though divorce did happen, it was a rare occurrence in 1946. She knew there was going to be an uphill battle with Frank, but she was pretty confident she could force her hand with mention of a scandal. Frank would be more upset about tarnishing his esteemed career than actually losing her. She wanted nothing from Frank, between her deceased parent’s estate and what Uncle Lamb, her guardian, had left her, she could afford medical school and though not a rich life, she could live a comfortable and rewarding one.

 

As she crested the top of the hill and approached the circle of stones, Claire spotted the little blue flower at the base of the largest stone. She had seen the flower this morning and had identified in the botany book that Uncle Lamb had gifted her. It was a Forget Me Not and she had come back to get it to add it to her collection in her little flower presses. Claire found it humorous and smirked to herself about the flowers name as she was ready to forget about Frank. She was done with men, planning on living her own life and doing what she wanted for a change. After plucking the delicate bud and wrapping it in her soft handkerchief, she stepped back and looked up at the huge stone in front of her. There was a cleft down the middle ending right above her head, almost like the stone had been struck by lightning. Claire felt the wind rise as a buzzing and dizziness filled her head. Putting her hands out in front of her least she fall forward, she made contact with the stone and was drawn into darkness, with the sounds of screaming in her ears.


	2. Captured Companions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Readers, thank you for the Kudos and the kind words. You are greatly appreciated, Hugs!

Chapter 2 – Captured Companions

 

Jamie Fraser came awake sputtering, coughing and soaking wet. He shook his head to clear the fuzziness, rubbing his chilled hands over his face. As he looked around, he became aware of his dark, damp and dismal surroundings. How had he ended up in a small, freezing prison cell? Last thing he remembered was a gunshot and then a fall from his horse near the bottom of Craigh na Dun. As his vision cleared, he noticed the three redcoats standing over his prone position on the hard packed dirt floor, one holding an empty bucket that had thrown the water to force him awake. “Where am I?” he asked. The taller one with dark hair replied, “you are in Fort William, Mr Fraser. I am Lieutenant Jeremy Foster and this garrison is under the command of Captain Jonathon Randall. He recognized you upon sight when you arrived in the back of our wagon and instructed that you be locked up until you regained conscientious. You have lost quite a deal of blood from the musket ball that passed through your shoulder and your arm seems to have sustained an injury also. We have another prisoner that was brought in with you in the wagon and she seems to have some knowledge of healing. I will have her fetched immediately.” Jamie thought to himself, Randall, Ifrinn!

 

As Jamie became further awake, so did the pain that was radiating through his head, right shoulder and down his arm. Glancing down, he realized that his shoulder was covered in blood and hanging at an odd angle, the pain was making him nauseous. He glanced up and saw one of the soldiers push a dark haired woman in his direction. She knelt down cautiously by his side, keeping her eyes downcast and uttered in a soft voice “my name is Claire and I am here to tend to your wounds. May I examine you?” She then looked him straight in the eyes and Jamie felt his breath leave his body. Her skin was pale and fine and her fearful eyes dominated her heart shaped face. They were large, almond shaped and the color of fine whisky flecked with specks of gold. They were rimmed with long dark lashes that matched the color of her dark brown hair that curled riotously around her face. Jamie noticed a huge purple bump on the left side of her forehead with a jagged cut down the middle, leaving streaks of dried blood that had run down her left cheek onto her neck. She was in a filthy shift, her face covered in dirt and he could see the tracks of where her tears had ran. Jamie, lightly touched the bump on her forehead and uttered “it looks like I’m not the only one injured lass. My name is Jamie Fraser and ye have nothing to fear from me. Aye, ye can examine me. ”

 

Claire nodded her head and some of the tension left her body upon hearing the soothing deep timber of the large Scottish man. Upon noticing the awkward positioning of his arm and the blood seeping through the bullet hole in his shirt, she helped Jamie sit up and they awkwardly removed the garment. Gently prodding the wound, she looked him into eyes, stating “your shoulder is out of joint and I need to get it set before I can stop the bleeding and get you bandaged up. This will also help your pain level immensely.” She placed her hands on his head and felt over his skull and moved down to his neck and back up, gently turning his head side to side. “You have a nice bump on the back of your skull, how many fingers am I holding up and do you have a headache?” Jamie replied “two and I have a pounding in my head for certain, but it is lessening with the feel of your gentle hands.” Claire noticed his direct gaze and how his smile lifted at one corner after replying.

 

Looking over her shoulder, she asked the guards for some warm water and clean cloths. Two of the soldiers laughed at her, but Jeremy Foster instructed one to fetch the water and the other the cloths. Jamie cradled his arm close to his body and asked “how did you end up in Fort William lass?” “I’m not really sure. I was up on the top of the Fairy Hill, a storm came up and the next thing I knew, I woke up feeling disoriented and ill lying in the grass. After waiting for my stomach to settle, I stumbled part ways down the hill and a shot was fired in my proximity. That’s when I spotted the Red Coats running at me and I turned to flee. While running, I was tackled from behind and my head apparently hit a stone or something and I became unconscious. I woke up in the cell next to you feeling totally lost and disoriented and can only remember my name, Claire Beauchamp. I believe I have a concussion and amnesia. Without sounding like I have lost my mind, can you please tell me what year it is?” An astonished Jamie replied. “Oh you poor lassie, it’s 1743 in the year of our Lord”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Randall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all that are reading and comments are always welcome!

Chapter 3 – Randall

 

Claire had been kneeling to examine Jamie, but at this news, she plopped down hard on her bottom. Feeling faint and nauseated, she brought her knees to her chest and bent her head down in between her legs, breathy deeply and letting the reality of her situation sink in. It had to be a nightmare brought on by the concussion. She couldn’t have possibly fallen back in time 200 years. She remembered being startled on the Fairy Hill by the Redcoats, turning to flee and then being tackled to the ground, but she hadn’t had time to process what was happening until now. Upon waking in her cell, answering a few questions of the guards and being herded into Jamie’s cell, it had all been a whirlwind. How, just kept echoing through her mind? Fairy Hill indeed! Just manage the present situation, she told herself. Use your war training, don’t panic and you’ll wake up soon. Though knowing deep down, it was a useless plea.

 

“Are ye well Claire, should I get ye the slop bucket?” Jamie’s voice was full of concern. “No, I’m fine, just more dizziness from my concussion. Let’s get your injuries seen to.” Reaching for the fairly clean cloths and the basin of water that had been set by her side, Claire moved closer to Jamie. Cleaning the blood from around the hole in his shoulder, she deemed it stable enough to get his arm set. “I could use some help holding my patient while I set his shoulder. Can a couple of you please be of assistance?” Claire asked the guards. They held Jamie firmly as Claire positioned his arm correctly. “This is going to hurt like hell, but will feel better soon. Please try and relax.” Jamie nodded his head and did his best to comply. By the time the shoulder finally snapped back into place, they were both sweating liberally, Claire from exertion and Jamie from the pain. “It doesn’t hurt anymore.” Uttered an astonished Jamie, “It will, you need to keep it strapped to your body. Let’s get your other wound cleaned and bandaged. Maybe one of these gentlemen can find me a belt or sling to hold your arm steady.” Claire looked to the soldiers to make sure her request had been heard.

 

Taking a wet cloth, Claire went to work cleaning his bloodied shoulder, moving next to the exit wound, she got a clear view of Jamie’s back and let out a gasp. Running her hand lightly over the myriad of scars covering the length of his back, she once again felt the bile rise in her throat. This man had been tortured. Feeling Jamie shudder beneath her hand, she whispered, “I’m sorry Jamie, my hands are cold. Who did this to you?” “It was Captain Randall a few years back. I was working on our family farm and he arrived with his patrol seeking provisions. My parents were away at a funeral and I didn’t argue until he made rough advances to my sister. I fought the soldiers with every bone in my body, but was outnumbered. I was knocked out and woke up bound in a wagon on the way to Fort William. I was imprisoned for resistance, but the lashings were for trying to escape. Randall almost killed me in the process and then I had fever for a week. My Uncles came with their solicitor and I was released into their custody.” Claire noticed a thoroughly disgusted look on Jamie’s face before he continued, “It doesn’t hurt anymore, so don’t worry yer head about it. I’m more concerned that I find myself in this blasted situation again.”

 

Silence fell over them as Claire finished cleaning and bandaging Jamie. A belt had been left by her side and she strapped his arm firmly to his torso. “Jamie, try to hold this as still as possible and drink plenty of water to help with your blood loss.” Looking up at Lieutenant Foster, “can fresh drinking water be supplied to Mr Fraser, please?” “Captain Randall has commanded that I bring you to his office, follow me.” Foster replied. Jamie touched her arm, whispering “Claire, My Godfather was with me at Craigh na Dun and I’m sure he went to get help. You must hold firm to your story that you can’t remember anything due to your head injury. Be wary of Randall, he is a cruel man, the devil incarnate. ” Claire started to question why he thought her loss of memory was a story, but Foster was waiting impatiently by the cell door, so she turned and followed him, doubting that Jamie would receive the water.

 

As she walked down the cold stone corridors of the prison, Claire realized that she would be meeting Frank’s long lost relation. There was irony that genealogy did not interest her in the least and that Frank would be extremely envious right now. She would be very happy to switch places with him. Captain Randall’s office was neat and tidy with one barred window letting in the waning sunlight. He stood from his desk chair, moving to stand in front of Claire, she looked up and gasped. Could this dream get any worse? The captain strongly resembled her husband Frank, though there was a hardness to his features and an evil glint in his eyes. He looked at her questionably, “have we met before madam?” Damn her glass face. “I don’t believe so sir, but as I have lost my memory, I can’t really be certain.” “Mrs. Beauchamp, so this is the story you are going with then? Can you tell me what you were doing on that hill just attired in your shift, where are your clothes? How do you know you’re a healer if you have lost your memory?” Claire, taken back by the venom in his voice, spat back, “I never said I was a healer, your guards assumed such after I woke up and couldn’t recall anything except my name. Upon explaining I have amnesia and a concussion they labeled me a healer. But apparently, I must have some skill, for I just helped another patient.” “Yes, this is another matter altogether”, Randall scoffed, “why were you, an Englishwoman, in the company of Fraser? How do you know him? Were you traveling with him? What is he up to?”

 

After firing question after question, Claire kept answering “I don’t know, I can’t remember.” Claire finally lost her temper and shouted “I might have been able to answer your bloody questions, if I hadn’t been shot at and tackled by your soldiers! This is the last thing I remember besides my name! What kind of Captain supports those actions upon an innocent woman with no justification? I have no answers to give you and I demand that you release me at once!” Randall came slowly around his desk, Claire looked defiantly in his eyes, the tension crackling in the room as Randall brought his arm back and punched her in the stomach with his fist. Collapsing to the floor, Claire tried to catch her breath as spots floated in front of her eyes. Grasping her arms and bringing her upright once more, Randall punched her again in the midsection and Claire lost all of her stomach contents, vomiting violently into Randall’s face and front of his uniform. With a look of shock and revulsion quickly turning to anger, Randall slapped Claire hard across the face, threw her in the direction of Foster and bellowed “get her out of my sight before I kill her!”

 

After being mended by Claire, Jamie lay down on the pile of straw in the corner of his cell. Too far from Randall’s office, which he knew all too well, he couldn’t hear anything of Claire’s inquisition. He was in pain and his wame was churning with worry while his mind was busy contriving a plan to get them out of there. Jamie’s only hope being that Murtaugh had made it to Castle Leoch and that he could convince his Uncle Colum, the Laird of Clan Mackenzie, and Ned Gowen, the clan’s solicitor, that Jamie was worth the trouble of rescuing a second time from the clutches of Captain Randall. Jamie was praying over and over when he heard the shuffling of feet and the squeaky sound of Claire’s cell door being opened and closed. He lay there until the footsteps receded, then made his way to his door and called in a loud whisper “Claire, are ye alight Lass?” His answer was the sound of pitiful sobs and muffled groans. “Claire, can you at least tell me that ye aren’t damaged too badly and that you’ll mend, please answer me Lass.” A soft “I’ll heal” was the only answer he received. “Have faith that I’ll get ye out of this hell hole, I’ll no leave you behind. Try to get some sleep.”

 

Jamie laid there on the cold cell floor until he heard her sobs lessen and then finally her breathing even out, interspaced with little whimpering noises. After realizing she was resting the best that she could, he made his way back to the straw, praying fervently that help was on the way. Realizing he was extremely thirsty, his last thought before falling asleep was, he had never gotten any water.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Unexpected Commitments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for my delay in a new chapter. I cannot get on a regular posting schedule as I work different shifts at a library each week and write when I have a few free moments. I will try to at least post a chapter a week.
> 
> Thank you for all of the kudos and kind comments!

Chapter 4 – Unexpected Commitments

 

Neither Jamie nor Claire had slept much during the night, fitfully tossing and turning from pain and coldness on their rough straw beds. They were each given water and a crust of bread for breakfast with promises that Captain Randall would want to interrogate them both later in the day upon returning from patrol.

 

Jamie wanted so badly to talk with Claire, but knew that speaking loudly enough for her to hear would result in every word being overheard by the guards. When asked how she was feeling, her answer had been fine. Lord, she was a strong Lass. He thought he had a pretty good plan in place for when Murtaugh arrived, hopefully the next morning. It all depended on if Ned arrived with him and if he had talked Colum into sparing some coin. All Jamie could do was wait, plan and pray.

 

Claire could not remember the last time she had been so physically miserable. She was in pain from head to toe and chilled to the bone. Her bottom lip was split and the right side of her face was bruised and swollen from Randall’s blow. She just kept hoping that Jamie could get them both out of here. If he did, she was going to ask him to bring her back to that Fairy Hill and she was marching up that hill as quickly as her legs could carry her, hopefully travelling back to her own time. Claire had no idea how the stones worked, but it was worth a shot.

 

Although not a historian, she had listened to Frank’s incessant ramblings on this time period to absorb that this was a violent and sad time in history. Frank’s loyalties had been with the English, but so far the only person who had been kind to her had been a Scot.   Portrayed as a backward and uncivilized culture by the historians, she was starting to see that most of their points of view had been biased, based on their own ethnicity.  

 

Jamie had been helpful and gentle with her, even after hearing her English accent and having every reason to despise her kind. That poor man’s back and now his newest injuries were horrific. If he was telling her the truth, and for some odd reason she believed he was, he was acting as an honorable man in wanting to help her, a total stranger, escape Fort William.

 

Jamie was also a very attractive young man, but she would not even begin to think along those lines. Claire was through with men and she wouldn’t be around long enough to get to know him better. She fervently hoped.

 

As the day wore on, the only contact the imprisoned pair had was when a guard brought them a bowl of broth and another crust of bread sometime in the afternoon. The man stated that Captain Randall had not yet returned to the Fort. Both Jamie and Claire breathed a sigh of relief and had taken to pacing back and forth in their cells to warm up and keep circulation flowing.

 

Breaking the silence, Claire asked, “How is your shoulder and arm Jaime?” “The wound isna bleeding at all, just a bit showing through the bandage from yesterday and as long as I keep the arm strapped firm, there’s no too much pain. I’ve felt much worse, you did a fine job in yer mending of my scratches Claire. How are ye feeling? Can ye tell me a bit about what happened with Randall, I’ve been worried sick.”

 

Claire shared the whole incident with Jamie, actually starting to giggle toward the end. “The look on his face, so livid and covered in vomit, Jamie, it was worth the blow he gave me.”

 

“A Dhia, ye are one brave woman Claire, I wish I could have been there to see this. Randall is a thoroughly depraved man and ye getting sick on him was probably the best thing that could have happened. I shudder to think what he would have put ye through in his rage. I know I’m not one to give advice on the matter of temper, but tis best if ye can try to control it when dealing with the mad bastard. Oh, sorry Lass, please excuse my language.”

 

“No apologies necessary, he is a Grade A number one bastard.” Jamie chuckled, “Aye, whatever ye say Sassenach”. “What does that mean Jamie, Sassenach?” “Oh, it just means outsider or an English person. I didn’t mean it as an insult, please dinna take offense.” “None taken.”

 

Jamie’s voice dropped to a whisper “just remember, if we get the chance to get out of here, stick to your memory loss, that’s all ye have to do.” They halted their conversation at the sound of the guards making their rounds. They both settled down on their straw once again to worry and wait.

 

Lieutenant Foster informed them, when he delivered their meager evening meal of more broth and bread, that Captain Randall would not be back at the Fort that night and expect interrogation in the morning. Claire decided to be brave and asked if they could please have some drinking water and possibly a blanket. She had noticed through their few interactions that Foster didn’t seem as rough as the other guards. He scowled at her before leaving, but returned shortly with water for her and Jamie, but only one blanket for her. Claire knew better than to push her luck by asking for another. Soon it was pitch black except for the distant light of a torch in the corridor.

 

“Jamie, I’m sorry he only brought one blanket, but at least we got some drinking water.” Claire whispered. “Never you mind lass, we have both been blessed that Randall did not make it back to the Fort, you’ll hear no complaints from me. Wrap up in that blanket and get some sleep, I have an inkling that the next few days are going to be trying ones. Goodnight Claire.” Goodnight Jamie.”

 

Time seemed to stand still for the captives as they slept fitfully, worrying and hoping help would arrive shortly. Late in the morning of the next day, the guards took Jamie from his cell and brought him to Randall’s office. Randall was sitting at his desk with a dark scowl on his face. Across from him stood Ned Gowan, Dougal MacKenzie, War Chief of Clan MacKenize also Jamie’s uncle, and Murtaugh.

 

Ned Gowan, a smaller man with round golden spectacles perched on his nose and grey hair tied back with a ribbon, stepped closer to Jamie, “ I was just telling Captain Randall that you need to be released at once and there is no just cause for having you arrested or kept under guard. I explained that we had just sold our herd of cattle in Inverness and most of us were returning to Leoch, but you and Murtaugh had stayed behind to visit the apothecary for medicines for the Clan. This is why the two of you were travelling by yourselves. I also informed him that an English officer cannot hold a Scottish person unless there is proof that a crime has been committed and cannot force a subject from clan lands without permission of the Laird himself. While Craigh na Dun is not property of our Clan, it is the property of the McGregor Clan and therefore you were on clan property and the arrest is entirely unfounded and therefore justified as criminal activity.

 

Jamie stepped closer to Ned and speaking in a voice so all could hear, “Ned, there is another development that occurred while in Inverness. Murtaugh and I went to get the medicines as instructed, but while there, we met a lass in distress. We overheard her pleading with Mr Baum to give her a few more months of lodging as she had recently been left destitute upon the death of her uncle. She had been helping out in the apothecary shop, having extensive knowledge in healing, herbs and tinctures, to cover her room and board. However, Mr Baum thought it unseemly for a woman, even though she is a respectable widow, to be living alone and he had let the room above the apothecary to a husband and wife.”

 

“Knowing that we need a healer at Leoch, I approached the lass and after a discussion with Murtaugh, we offered her a trial period of being the healer for the Clan, with Colum’s approval of course. It’s been awhile since we had a proper healer at the castle and Claire seems to be an educated lass of good breeding, though she has no family to verify this.”

 

“I must admit that this is not entirely a business endeavor however. Claire is quite bonnie and I found myself immediately attracted to her and I was hoping we could become better acquainted. She knows nothing of my feelings and views this as just a temporary situation until she has secured enough coin to journey to France where her deceased husband has some distant relatives, her surname is Beauchamp.”

 

“The Lass and I were getting to know one another on the ride to Leoch when we were assaulted by the Red Coats. Claire was shot at and tackled to the ground by one of their soldiers, suffering a head injury that has resulted in memory loss. All she can remember is her name. Thank goodness Murtaugh was able to get away unscathed and bring back help.”

 

Murtaugh kept his eyes downcast toward the floor, but was heard to mutter “yes, thank goodness”.

 

Ned turned to Captain Randall, “Well, if this is the case then, we must insist that you release Mistress Beauchamp along with Mister Fraser and we will proceed on our way. The Laird of Clan MacKenzie has generously given me some coin to reimburse you for any cost or trouble that you have dealt with.” Ned stepped forward, setting the bag of money on the desk. “We will collect the lass and cease to disrupt your business any further.”

 

Randall sat and looked at them one by one, with his gaze ending on Jamie, “It’s not a simple matter, since Mistress Beauchamp claims to have lost her memory and will not be able to verify any of this information. There is no law that states I must surrender her to any of you. She is not a Scot and I can keep her indefinitely until I am satisfied with her answers. Also, why was she only wearing a shift and where did her clothing disappear to? I think she is simply a whore and you are giving her an entirely different position at the castle. In that case, I will keep her here at the Fort for our amusement gentlemen.” Picking up the bag of coins and dropping it in his desk drawer, Randall waved his hand toward the door, “you may be off.”

 

Jamie red faced, furious and speaking in a low growl, replied “Claire had gotten overheated during the journey and had went to wash by the stream while Murtaugh and I waited close by. I heard the shot and rushed to check on her, she was gone, taken by yer soldiers and the next thing I knew, I myself was shot and falling from my horse. Maybe ye should question the soldiers as to where her clothing, small bag of goods and horse have disappeared to. That is all she had left of her possessions and I’m sure she would like to have them back.”

 

Dougal MacKenzie, standing a bit over six feet tall and broad in shoulder and frame, stepped forward toward Randall’s desk, “my nephew has stated that they had a business arrangement and I’ll not leave a woman, innocent or not, in the clutches of this garrison. Now hand the lass over or you will have an ongoing battle with the majority of the clans in this area. Mr. Gowan and my brother have both shared with me that you are already on shaky ground with your superiors from some of your misadventures and what you deem suitable punishment to the Scots. Need I show you what you have already inflicted upon young Jamie here?” All the while he was talking, Dougal’s hand had gripped the hilt of his sword..

 

Eyeing Dougal warily, Randall bellowed to the guards “bring the woman here immediately and we will see if we can get an honest answer out of her.”

 

A few minutes later a stunned Claire was shoved violently into the room. She was filthy, disheveled and shaking. The bump on her forehead had turned a dusky yellow, with dried blood in the jagged cut and more dried blood where her lip was split. Her right cheek and around her eye was swollen and discolored. But her eyes defiantly surveyed the occupants of the room. They settled on Jamie, seeing his look of distress, she instantly moved to his side. He reached a hand up to caress her cheek, “your poor lass” he whispered.

 

Ned and Dougal’s faces displayed looks of disgust as they both turned toward Randall. “I refuse to leave this lass behind, look what she has already endured the last two days! She won’t live to see another week.” Bellowed Dougal.

 

Ned put a restraining hand on Dougal’s arm and stepped forward, using his best solicitor’s voice,   “Captain Randall, perhaps we could come to a financial agreement for the Mistress Beauchamp’s release. I’m sure the Laird of clan MacKenzie could see forth to part with a bit more coin to insure the safety of his new healer. I could send a messenger back with a sum in just a few days.”

 

Randall stood up and walked around the desk, bending close to Ned’s face answered “are you trying to bribe me sir? If so, you are treading on dangerous ground. This woman needs further interrogation!”

 

Nobody in the room had noticed that Jamie and Claire had been whispering quietly to each other, but at that moment Jamie moved forward and speaking quickly announced “we wish to be handfast before these two witnesses, Murtaugh Fitzgibbons Fraser and Dougal MacKenzie. It’s a legally binding arrangement that will turn Claire into a Scot.” He quickly knelt down and tore a strip of cloth from the bottom of Claire’s shift. Murtaugh stepped forward and tied their shaking right hands together.

 

Jamie stared into Claire’s eyes, “I, James Alexander Malcom MacKenzie Fraser, in the name of the spirit of God that resides within us all, take thee, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp as my wife and mate. I promise to love thee with my whole heart, in sickness and health, through plenty and poverty, as long as we both shall live.”

 

Claire could no longer meet the direct gaze of Jamie and shifted her eyes downward, “I, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp, in the name of the spirit of God that resides within us all, take thee, James Alexander Malcom MacKenzie Fraser as my husband and mate. I promise to love thee with my whole heart, in sickness and health, through plenty and poverty, as long as we both shall live.”

 

Jamie’s left hand reached toward Claire’s face and with his index finger placed gently under her chin, tilted her face up. He bent his head, placing a soft kiss on Claire’s lips. Finding his lips warm and inviting, Claire automatically moved closer to Jamie, returning the kiss. Seeking a closer connection, her left hand traveled up his arm, caressing his shoulder.

 

Ned cleared his throat loudly and the couple jumped apart, staring momentarily into each other’s eyes before the reality of their situation came back to them.

 

“Well, that puts this matter to rest then. You are legally bound together as husband and wife for a year and a day.” Ned shook Jamie’s hand and bussed Claire quickly on the cheek. The Scots turned toward Randall.

 

His face almost a puce color, fists clenched at his sides as he realized he had run out of options to keep either Jamie or Claire here at the Fort and under his control. “Get out of my sight, all of you! God damn you to hell!” Randall bellowed as the Scots quickly made their exit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Out of Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for the kudos and comments. This is a short chapter, but hoping to get another one posted soon.

Chapter 5 – Out of Time

 

It was decided after a brief discussion, that Dougal and Ned would head back to Leoch to inform Colum of the new circumstances. Claire could tell by Dougal’s demeanor, that there was more to the situation than just a handfasting. She couldn’t pinpoint if he was upset, pleased or just plain astonished. Before he and Ned departed, he winked at Jamie, saying “give her a good one from me.” Claire watched as Jamie blushed a dusky red color.

 

Jamie, Murtaugh and Claire headed to Inverness to speak to Mr. Baum so that he could collaborate Jamie’s made up tale regarding Claire, in case Randall sent anyone to investigate. They were also hoping to get Claire some decent clothing, not wanting her to appear at Leoch in rags. The three of them were exhausted, Jamie and Claire from their captivity and Murtaugh from his hell bent rides back and forth to Leoch to bring help. They would be seeking lodging for the night.

 

Claire road in front of Jamie, Murtaugh had brought only one extra horse. She was trying to sit ramrod straight to prevent touching Jamie’s torso, although there was nothing to be done about the feel of his strong thighs against hers as he controlled the horse. He wrapped his plaid around both of them as the late afternoon turned chilly, the sun sinking low over the horizon.

 

“Jamie, I have so many questions, but I need to ask you a favor first. I have lost all sense of direction, is the Fairy Hill on the way to Inverness? Could we possibly stop there for a moment?”

 

“Now why would ye want to stop at that infernal hill? It’s where all of this trouble started in the first place.”

 

“I can’t explain to you at this moment, but I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t of extreme importance. Please.” A pleading note in her voice.

 

Jamie was silent for a few moments. “Claire, you’ve taken care of my wounds, asked to get me fresh water and blankets, nary complaining a bit, though you’ve suffered greatly. Aye, I’ll take ye to the hill.

I know there are things we can’t tell each other as of yet, but I do ask one thing, that when ye do tell me something, it is the truth. I think respect has room for secrets but no lies, do you agree?” “I agree, thank you Jamie” Claire answered in a quiet voice.

 

Jamie turned speaking to Murtaugh in Gaelic. There was a heated discussion of which Claire could not understand a word, but their direction changed a bit and it was clear by Murtaugh’s scowl that they were headed toward the hill.

 

None of the three said another word until they reached the bottom of Craigh na Dun. Jamie looked at Murtaugh and he moved further away to stand guard. Jamie dismounted, reached up and grasping Claire under her arms, lifted her down flush against his chest. Holding her close for a moment, he rested his chin on the top of her head, she fit perfectly, like she was meant to be there.

 

Claire had not realized until this very moment how tall Jamie was, having been so focused on her own mental turmoil. The warmth of his body felt comforting and safe as she nestled closer, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Jamie, thank you for saving me. I shudder to think what would have happened if you hadn’t have come up with the handfasting plan. We are strangers and yet you sacrificed yourself for me.”

 

“Lass, it was no a sacrifice you ken. I would have done much worse to see ye safe.” Stepping back and holding her at arm’s length, he planted a kiss on her forehead. “Now go, do what needs doing and we will be on our way before full dark sets in.” Seeing the turmoil in Claire’s whisky eyes, gave him pause.

She threw her arms around him, practically squeezing the air out of his lungs, stood on her toes and pressed a quick chaste kiss to his lips, “thank you Jamie”. He watched in confusion as she ran up the hill, disappearing into the trees.

 

Out of breath and trembling, Claire stood before the cleft stone again. She couldn’t stay here in this barbaric time. In a matter of a few days, she’d been beaten, practically starved and frozen on a bed of straw. And the horrors that would have happened, if Jamie and the Scot’s hadn’t saved her.

 

Jamie, his name felt like a knife through her heart. No, she wouldn’t think about him, this was the correct decision. He barely knew her and would recover quickly, forgetting her soon. But would she forget him? Yes, she had a good future planned in her time, independence and medical school. A chance to really see what she could accomplish on her own. A look of determination settling on her face, she raised her hands and pressed them firmly against the stone.

 

No wind came up, no tingling, no dizziness, nothing. She tried again, walked around the stone, pressed her hands against the other side, thinking maybe it was like a door, one way to the past one way to the future. Nothing. She pounded on the stone with her hands until they were scratched and bloody. Crumbling to the ground, she buried her face in her torn hands and sobbed broken heartedly. Stuck 200 years in the past.

 

Strong arms surrounded her, pulling Claire onto his lap, Jamie rocked her, whispering soothing words in her ear, “shhhh Claire, it’s okay. I’ve got ye, I’ll take care of ye. Ye have nothing to fear as long as I’m with ye, Mo chridhe.” “And when you’re not with me?” “Ye have my name, my clan, my family, and if necessary, the protection of my body as well.” Claire hugged herself closer to Jamie and continued crying. Jamie wiped her face with the end of his plaid, until the sobbing ceased and she went into a fit of hiccupping. “Come Sassenach, we must get moving. We all need a good rest tonight, things will be better in the light of morning.”

 

No words were uttered on the remaining ride to Inverness. Claire gave up trying to keep her distance from Jamie on the horse. Emotionally and physically exhausted, she nestled into his strong chest, and surrounded by the warmth of his plaid, let him hold her.


	6. Untangled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one, but I think you'll like it. I do not have a Beta checking my work, so please excuse any little errors that might occur. Even though I do my best, some still manage to sneak through. Right now the end to this story is no where in sight, the ideas just keep coming, so happy reading! 
> 
> Again, thank you for the kudos and comments.

Chapter 6 – Untangling

 

Claire dozed off and on, held securely in Jamie’s arms. She woke to the sounds of horses nickering and Jamie and Murtaugh’s low conversation.

 

Looking down into Claire’s face, Jamie smiled, “Oh good, you’re awake Claire. We are at the Dancing Goat, an Inn Clan MacKenzie frequents when we are in Inverness. Ye dinna need to worry a bit, tis a safe establishment.”

 

Dismounting from their horses, Murtaugh took the reins, heading toward the stables at the back of the building. Claire glanced up, seeing a wooden shingle with a goat wearing a kilt and kicking up its heels, or hooves in this case. Jamie took her arm, leading her into the tap room. There were a few tables occupied with families and a smattering of single men eating their supper. In front of a very large fireplace with a roaring fire, a middle aged lady looked up from her sewing, a wide smile blooming across her face as she moved swiftly towards them.

 

“Jamie lad, dinna think you would be gracing us with your presence again so soon. Looks like you could use a good washing and a bit of rest.”

 

“Aye Mrs. Drummond, we ran into a bit of trouble with the blasted Red Coats on the way to Leoch, spent a couple of uncomfortable nights at Fort William. Got out of there by the grace of God and Ned’s legal wisdom. This is Mrs. Beauchamp, she is to be the new healer for the Clan, but as you can see, she’s a bit worse for wear. Her possessions were stolen and the poor lass has naught but what you see before your eyes. We are needing a meal, two rooms for tonight, some warm water for washing and if possible a new shift for Mrs. Beauchamp to sleep in. We will be looking for suitable clothing for her tomorrow.”

 

Mrs. Drummond’s eyes scanned Claire from top to bottom, taking in her bare feet, wild hair and the white filthy shift covered by the plaid, “Oh, you poor dear, been put upon have you? I believe I might have just what you need. My niece, may she rest in peace, was about your size, just a bit shorter. Fool girl got herself thrown from a horse a few month’s past. Told her not to ride that blasted devil.”

 

Claire reached out and touched her hand seeing the tears well up in Mrs. Drummond’s eyes. “I’m so very sorry for your loss, I appreciate any help you can offer.”

 

A look of surprise overtook Mrs. Drummond’s face, “An Englishwoman, I must say I’m surprised you’ve been taken in by Clan MacKenzie.”

 

Claire turned to Jamie, “Maybe this wasn’t the best idea, to bring me here.”

 

“Now Mrs. Drummond, Claire may be English, but she has no allegiance to any of the English in these parts. She is a respectable widow who has fallen on hard times. We came to a mutual business arrangement upon learning of her knowledge of healing. Perhaps we should find lodging elsewhere.”

 

“No, no,”Mrs Drummond stammered, “I am sorry for any offense, I was just taken back. Please forgive me, let me see about your arrangements. Have a seat and I’ll get some food out to you shortly.”

 

Mrs. Drummond bustled away, disappearing through a door behind the large wooden bar. Jamie and Claire moved to a table close to the heat of the fire. The occupants of the room eyeing them as they walked past. The outside door opened, Murtaugh scanned the room, walked to the bar, ordered three whiskies and joined them at the table. The three sat sipping quietly, letting the warmth of the spirit infuse their tired bodies. Soon, they were digging into three plates of mutton stew with fresh warm bannocks on the side. Claire had never tasted anything more heavenly in her entire life and by the speed at which it was devoured, she knew Jamie and Murtaugh were of the same mind.

 

Mrs. Drummond approached the table, “you have the last two rooms at the end of the hall on the right. There’s warm water in both rooms and I have a clean shift, dress and shoes for Mrs. Beauchamp for the morning. We can discuss the other clothing items tomorrow, you need your beds by the looks of you.   Now, where should I be putting the lasses clothing?”

 

A flush spread up from Jamie’s neck to his face, “Put them in the furthest room. Murtaugh and I will take the other.”

 

Claire had never felt so filthy in her life, and there had been many times during travels with her Uncle Lamb that she had indeed gotten very dirty. She sighed with relief seeing a small hip bath and a clean shift left on the bed. She was soon washing vigorously with the soap and cloth. Looking around, there was indeed a brush, so Claire decided to wash her hair, even though it would be a bother to get untangled.

 

Adorned in the clean shift and sitting on a stool by the fire, Claire attempted to unsnarl her hair. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea as exhaustion started to overtake her.   She had shut down her brain up until this point but now on her own, reality was starting to creep back in. Hell, what kind of predicament had the universe thrown her into? She hated being out of control and she had no control over anything at the moment. Even her damn hair refused to cooperate, betrayed by her own body, “Jesus H Roosevelt Christ” Claire bellowed, throwing her hairbrush against the wall with a loud thump.

 

A few minutes later, there was a knock at her door, “Claire, are you alright? I heard your voice and then a thump. You dinna fall did you?” Claire wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and opened the door. “No, I’m afraid I lost my temper. I’m tired, overwhelmed and my hair is being difficult.” She replied sheepishly, looking up at Jamie.

 

He took in her pink face and tousled hair. His mouth smirking up in the right corner chuckled, “would ye like a bit of help, looks like you are losing this battle?”

 

Claire sighed, retrieved the hair brush and sat on the stool. “And just what do you know about brushing a ladies hair?”

 

Following her into the room, Jamie replied, “Well, Sassenach, I’ve curried many a horses tail and to tell ye the truth, I’ve had a few wars with my own curls. Not to mention, my sister has lost the battle with her curly mop from time to time. Come to think of it, ye might just match her in temper. But I’m no thinking this is a compliment.” At the look on Claire’s face, Jamie let out a deep rumbling laugh.

 

“Fine, it’s all yours”, turning to face the fire and holding the brush up in the air for Jamie to grab.

 

Jamie separating the hair into sections, started brushing the ends first, working toward the crown of her head, while keeping one warm hand on her head to help against any pulling. Claire thought, he really does know what he is doing.

 

Too weary to talk, her mind wandered to Jamie. How could it not with the warmth of him right at her back. He was wearing a clean shirt and his kilt had been brushed, Murtaugh must have brought him some clothing when he returned from Leoch. Jamie smelled of soap, man and a bit of horse. Claire didn’t mind, she’d always enjoyed the smell of horses. She couldn’t fight it anymore, admitting to herself that she was attracted to this Scot. It wasn’t only that he had been her savior, physically he was extremely handsome, tall, rugged with the body and face of a Viking warrior. He had a strong jaw with just a bit of cleft in his chin, high cheekbones and piercing blue eyes, almost slanting upward, catlike at the outer corners. But the pie’ce de re’sistance was his damn ruddy curls. His hair was a deep red, with highlights of gold and amber, curls falling over his forehead and just brushing the collar of his shirt. It had been freshly washed also, Claire longed to run her fingers through his curls. Her face suddenly heated and she took a deep ragged breath.

 

“Mo nighean donn.”Jamie whispered.

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“My brown-haired lass.”

 

“A rather dull colored brown, I’ve always thought.”

 

“No, not dull at all. It’s like the water in a burn, the way it ruffles down the rocks. Dark in the wavy spots, with wee bits of auburn where the sun touches it.”

 

Jamie’s fingers traced through Claire’s curls and lightly ran along her neck and down to her shoulders, leaving a tingling warmth in their trail.

 

Shivering, Claire shrugged her shoulders, wrapping the blanket tighter around her, “tell me about your family, all I know is you have a sister with curly hair.”

 

“Well, my father is Brian Fraser, my mother is Ellen MacKenzie Fraser. Colum, the MacKenzie chieftain is her brother and Dougal the war chief, who you’ve met, her other brother. I have an older sister Jenny, married to my best friend Ian, they are expecting their first bairn soon. My parents, Jenny and Ian live on our family estate of Lallybroch. We farm and have crofters on our lands, my father is the Laird. Though it isn’t a huge property, it’s beautiful with rolling hills and lochs aplenty. I had an older brother, Willie, who died of the smallpox when he was 12. A couple years ago, my mother had a very difficult birth, my little brother Robbie didn’t make it and it was very close with my mam. She has been sickly since, can’t seem to regain her strength. I haven’t been able to go back home since before the birth. I get letters frequently at Leoch, but it’s not the same as physically being with my family. I miss them.”

 

“There, I think your hair is pretty much done, though I think it has a mind of its own. I understand why you lost your temper Sassenach.” Pulling up a stool to settle in front of Claire, Jamie took a deep breath.

 

“Claire, we need to sort a few things out. I’ll no be asking ye any questions tonight, I know ye are exhausted, but there are situations that ye need to be made aware of. I was released by Randall a few years ago after Colum had paid a hefty ransom for me. The release came with a few stipulations. One being I had to stay under the supervision of the Clan MacKenzie and not be allowed to travel to Lollybroch for a term of three years. Another stipulation, that I would not take any aggressive retaliation by rallying the clans against Randall or the soldiers at Fort William. Colum agreed to these terms willingly. He wasn’t happy to hand over the hefty ransom but now he had me, basically a hired hand without having to pay me. He put me in charge of the stables knowing I have always had an affinity and knowledge of horses, breaking, breeding and such. The MacKenzies have a devious side and I soon came to realize that he and Dougal do not see eye to eye on many subjects. While Colum has the head and intelligence to be Laird, he doesn’t have the body. He took a bad fall from a horse years ago and has never mended. On the other hand, Dougal is sound in body, but he is war chief of the clan and is always looking at everything with a warriors mind and despises the English to his very marrow. I had studied at University in France for two years, upon my return, the trouble with the English and Randall occurred. Colum came to appreciate my schooling and knowledge, as I matured he started to think I might be a better guardian for his son than Dougal. If Colum dies from his illnesses before Hamish comes of age, this would make me acting Chieftain and Laird for a time. Another issue is that Colum has been pushing me toward marrying a lass from the clan, Laoghaire MacKenzie. This would solidify my connection and basically bind me to the clan. Colum has increasing pushed this marriage, knowing I only have five more months of my term and I’m wanting to go home to Lollybroch. Through spreading false rumors around the castle and Laoghaire throwing herself in my path, she follows me around constantly, it is already assumed we are promised to each other. This is one of the reasons that Dougal supported our handfasting. He has surmised what Colum is up to and now with our being tied to each other, this would push him to the forefront again for guardian and Laird. No one would support a Chieftain with an English wife.”

 

Claire’s voice came out in a strained whisper, “So you bound yourself to me to get out of your responsibilities to the clan and marriage to this Laoghaire. In that case, you can just leave me here in Inverness Jamie, I’ll be fine on my own. Murtaugh can go back and contest that we have not consummated our union.“ She rose and turned her back on a stunned Jamie.

 

“No Claire, I bound myself to ye to keep ye safe! Ye have no idea what Randall would have done. What ye endured was just a bit of what he would have made ye suffer, including rape.” He grabbed her by the shoulders, turning her to face him. “I wasn’t even thinking of the Clan situation until after we stopped at Crag na Dun and I realized I needed to tell ye everything. Remember, we can have secrets but no lies and I couldn’t bring ye back to Leoch and have ye face Colum and the MacKenzies without sharing all of this.”

 

Claire looked up into Jamie’s eyes and searched for any sign of dishonesty. All she saw was hope and pleading. “So you really married me just to keep me safe?”

 

“There is a bit more, but I canna tell ye now, though I will in my own time. But please trust me, our handfasting had nothing to do with the Clan situation, even though it appears this might be a way out for me. I have to bring ye back to Leoch. It isna safe for ye to stay in Inverness on your own, no matter how feisty ye are. If us being handfast is bothering ye, we have time to figure things out, basically a year. I willna touch ye in that way or lay with ye Claire, unless ye ask me, I promise ye that. I know there are things that ye need to tell me, even if ye can’t share all.”

 

“I’ve given ye much to think over. Ye are exhausted and I’ve been in your room far too long already, I must go. Good night Claire and know that I only have your best interests at heart. Do you believe me Lass?”

 

“I don’t know why Jamie, but for some strange reason I do. You said I could ask you to touch me. Can you please just hold me for a minute?”

 

Before the words were even out of her mouth, Claire was enveloped by Jamie’s strong arms and pulled tight against his chest. She in turn wrapped her arms around his torso, both palms pressed flat against his back. Jamie turned his face into Claire’s hair, inhaling deeply. One hand moved down her spine pressing into her lower back, urging her closer. The other traveled up to her head, pressing her face gently against his chest. Claire’s hands started rubbing gently against Jamie’s back. It wasn’t long before Claire felt Jamie’s body responding to their closeness.

 

“Jamie, I need to go to sleep,” releasing him and backing up a step, they stared into each other’s eyes. Jamie was drowning and was broken from his trance when Claire caressed his cheek, stood on tiptoe, placing a soft kiss on his lips. “Thank you Jamie.”

 

“My pleasure, Mo nighean donn.”

 

Claire walked Jamie to the door. Stepping into the hallway, he lifted his hand, lightly brushing her cheek, “I’m right next door, if you need anything call out, I’ll be right here.”

 

Jamie shuffled to his room in a dreamlike state and plopped in the bed next to Murtaugh. “You dinna, did you?”

 

“No Murtaugh, my virtue is safe. Dinna worry, you’ll be the third to know, aye?”

 

Jamie went to sleep with a semi hard cock, a smile on his face.

 

Claire went to sleep with a smile on her face, resolute that she could handle whatever came next, maybe the 18th century wasn’t so bad after all.


	7. A Long Ride

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kind comments and kudos. I try to answer each comment, but if I miss you, I apologize.

Chapter 7 – A Long Ride

 

A consistent knocking woke Claire out of a sound sleep the next morning. Groggily opening her eyes, she stretched and stumbled toward the door. Opening it a crack, she peeked out.

 

“Mistress, I am Morgan. I’ve brought you parritch and tea to break your fast and to help you dress. May I proceed?”

 

Claire nodded, never having been a morning person, she was distinctly fuzzy headed. After using the chamber pot, downing a spoonful of porridge and a sip of tea, she put herself in the young maid’s hands.

 

As Morgan tied the stays, Claire spoke up. “I will be on horseback for a couple of days and don’t want anything restrictive as I ride, do I have to wear these?”

 

“Well, with all the jostling, you will want some support, you have a nice bosom Mistress. But I think I can help a bit. Take in a deep breath and hold it while I tie. Now release, does this feel loose enough for you?” Claire nodded her head. “Knowing that you are traveling back to Leoch with the two men, Mrs. Drummond found you some stays that tie in the front so you can manage on your own. If you get too uncomfortable, you can loosen the laces a bit.”

 

Morgan continued about her work while Claire snuck more tea between bites of porridge. After arranging Claire’s hair in braids, pinning it to the top of her head and finally tucking the fescue into Claire’s bodice, Morgan stepped back, admiring her handwork.

 

“Pretty as a portrait Mistress. The dark brown of the gown with the cream bodice and accents on the skirt flatter your eyes and complexion. If I do say so myself, your hair fixed up nicely. The gentlemen are waiting downstairs.”

 

Claire looked down at herself thinking, not too bad, although the shoes were pinching her toes. Beggars can’t be choosers and she was certainly a beggar. As she walked, the draft under her skirts reminded her they did not wear panties in this time and she had thrown her only pair in the fire last night. Oh well, when in Rome or Scotland, in this instance.

 

Jamie’s mouth dropped open upon seeing Claire descending the stairs. Murtaugh elbowed him in the ribs, “close your mouth, you’re letting in flies.” Jamie’s snapped his mouth shut but couldn’t take his eyes from Claire. She had been pretty as a filthy prisoner, now she was a vision. Claire graciously dipped into a curtsy, “good morning gentlemen”. Jamie bowing deeply, replied, “aye it is now.”

 

Claire, grasping both of Murtaugh’s hands, placed a peck on his cheek. “I have thanked Jamie for rescuing me, but I have been remise in not giving you my gratitude, I must plead exhaustion as an excuse. Please accept my appreciation for everything you have done over the past few days. I am in your debt.”

 

Murtaugh turned a striking shade of red while shuffling his feet, replied “couldn’t leave an innocent lass in the hands of Randall, glad to be of assistance Claire.”

 

“Well, if ye two are quite finished, we need to be on our way.” Jamie interrupted with a smile.

“I made a wee visit to Mr. Baum this morning, we will have no worries from him with the English and I’ve purchased a few items of clothing from Mrs. Drummond, we’ll sort out the rest of what you need when we get to Leoch.”

 

“I’ve a surprise for ye Claire, a pretty little mare, although she has a silly name for a horse. The stable master’s daughter named her Biscuit due to her coloring resembling baked shortbread. She has a gentle disposition with a few years in her yet for breeding. I think Colum will be fine with the purchase.”

 

Mrs. Drummond rushed through the door from behind the bar, coming from the kitchen as the smell of food followed her. Bending behind the bar, she straightened, draping a thick wool cloak over her arm. Stopping in front Claire, she presented her with the cloak. “Mistress, I must again apologize for my comment yesterday, I would like you to have my niece’s cloak. Twill keep you warm on your journey.” Appreciating the soft wool while admiring the deep green color, Claire nodded her head. “I will wear it proudly, thinking of your niece as it keeps me warm. Thank you Mrs. Drummond and thank you Morgan.”  

 

As Mrs. Drummond dropped a curtsey, Morgan touched Claire’s arm, telling her to have a safe journey.

 

Jamie thought, Claire you are a charmer.

 

The trio made their way to the stable yard where all three horses were loaded with bags and what nots for the journey. Claire immediately went to Biscuit, stroking her soft nose while whispering nonsense to the mare. She had a black tail and mane, setting off her beautiful tan color. She was a pretty horse indeed. Biscuit nuzzled against Claire’s cheek as she scratcher her ears. Seeing the side saddle, Claire realized she hadn’t ridden this way in years. While traveling with Uncle Lamb she had been required in some cultures to wear skirts and ride side saddle. Oh well, best be prepared for a sore body by the end of the day.

 

Looking around for a mounting block, Claire startled as strong warm hands surrounded her waist, lifting her easily and setting her in the saddle. She looked down at Jamie, astonished at the ease with which he had lifted her.

 

“Thhhank you Jamie”, she stammered. Jamie stared at Claire owlishly, his eyebrows practically rising to his hairline. “Is that supposed to be a wink?” giggled Claire. “Aye, tis a wink” Jamie replied as he mounted his horse in one swift movement.

 

Murtaugh led them out of Inverness, Claire following behind with Jamie bringing up the rear.

 

Eyes focused on Claire, Jamie thought she sat a horse very well, though he couldn’t see her figure with the thick cloak bundled about her. She had already bonded with Biscuit, he chuckled to himself. Claire was warm and friendly, but with a core of fire. A Dhia, he was already lost. She, an English lass, had managed to charm Mrs. Drummond, the maid, and now even Murtaugh was under her power. Not to mention the blasted horse. He grimaced thinking about the reception she would get at Leoch. Even though he and Dougal usually didn’t see eye to eye, he was hoping between him and Ned, they had managed to calm Colum’s ire a bit. Jamie crossed himself, saying a little prayer.

 

They rode hard for a few hours, stopping by a small stream to water the horses and refresh themselves. Murtaugh passed around six apples, giving two to Claire. “One’s for you lass, and the other for the horse.” Claire smiled, feeding a delighted Biscuit her treat. “Oh, I see how it is, my girl, keep you fed and I can ride you anywhere.”

 

Jamie’s face turned red, thinking he’d gladly feed Claire if he could ride her.

 

Back in the saddles again, the countryside had opened up enough for Jamie to ride alongside Claire, Murtaugh still taking point. “Claire, I know there are things you might not wish to tell me yet, but can you tell me a bit about your family?”

 

“How did you know I had not lost my memory Jamie? I thought I was pretty convincing.”

 

“Aye your words were, but there was something in your eyes and a tightening around your mouth, I’m afraid ye have a glass face Sassenach. Ye certainly are a brave lass, never breaking under Randall’s abuse, ye have a strong courage Claire. We have to decide what we will tell folks at Leoch. I’m not sure Dougal nor Ned quite believe ye either. But they and Murtaugh will go along with whatever tale we tell. Ye and I didn’t really need to make our promise of not lying to each other, I’ll be able to tell when ye speak the truth.”

 

“What about your promise to me Jamie? Will I be able to tell if you lie?”

 

Turning to look into her eyes Jamie replied in a deep voice, “I’ll never lie to ye Claire.” They held each other’s gaze for a lengthy pause before Claire cleared her throat, continuing the conversation.

 

“My parents died when I was eight, in a car, err I mean carriage crash. My mother was pregnant, seven months along. Uncle Lamb later told me I was going to have a brother. Lamb, as he insisted I call him, was my only living relative, a bachelor and world traveling archeologist. He loved me but didn’t know what to do with a little girl, so he promptly put me in boarding school. I promptly kept getting in one scrap after another until eventually I ran away, living on my own for three days until I was found. I was expelled, my uncle had no choice but to take me with him.”

 

With a look of astonishment Jamie asked,”how did ye manage on your own for three days, a lassie of eight?”

 

“I had stolen food from the kitchen, food that would last, and I knew enough to head for water. It was summer, so the weather wasn’t freezing. I had thought it all out pretty well. I’d rather be on my own than having the pitying eyes follow me around. Plus, I had had enough of the school’s constricting rules,    I didn’t belong there. My father had been a writer, my mother a nurse, I mean a healer, they traveled extensively with me. So with the naivety of a child, I headed off on my own.”

 

“Though not a conventional childhood, I enjoyed living with Lamb. He made sure to school me in everything he knew. When we were in a location for a lengthy amount of time, he hired tutors to teach the subjects he had less knowledge in. I was a little sponge, soaking up all of the information I could get my hands on. But my aptitude was in the healing arts, I learned everything I could at each place we visited. Eventually I accepted formal education and was trained properly. Then Uncle Lamb died.” Claire’s voice trailed off, not willing to share more.

 

A Dhia, Jamie thought to himself, Claire was a rare woman. He had little experience with women outside of his family and even less with such an intelligent one as she.

 

Riding in silence for a few moments, Claire finally asked, “Did I astound you Jamie?”

 

“Aye, a bit”, answering with a smile, “I’m trying to take in everything that ye just told me. I don’t want to pity ye, but part of me does feel very sad that ye grew up without your parent’s love after the age of eight, then to have such courage and intelligence. Claire, I am basically in awe of ye. Ye are the strongest woman I have ever known, not that I have a deep well to choose from. I cannot find the words to tell ye what I feel right now, so I’m going to keep quiet before I say more than I should.”

 

Does, he feel this closeness developing between us also? Claire wondered. Her skin had tingled and her breath had come short after he had easily lifted her to the saddle. Since leaving Fort William, she had caught him watching her, then quickly averting his eyes when she noticed his deep blue gaze. Shaking her head to dispel these thoughts, she asked Jamie, “tell me some happy tales of your childhood, make me laugh please.”

 

Murtaugh had excellent hearing, having heard every word Claire and Jamie had said. He was also in awe of her, realizing his Godson had fallen head over heels for this lass. Murtaugh had made a sacred oath to Ellen that he would watch over and guard Jamie from the time he had been born, not realizing what a full time position it would be. Since Jamie loved Claire, he would also be her guardian in all things. He realized it wasn’t all for Jamie’s sake though, a fondness had bloomed in his chest for Claire from the moment she had walked into Randall’s office looking like something a dog had dragged in. Jamie had told him later about her bravery followed by the blows she received during her questioning. Aye, she was a strong lass, reminding him of Ellen. Turning his ears to the laughter behind him, he relaxed, listening to Jamie and Claire regale each other with the stories of their childhood. This would keep them both busy for the rest of the day. Jamie, like Claire, had gotten himself into quite a bit of trouble during his youth.

 

The hours flew surprisingly quickly, soon it was approaching dark and time to make camp. While Murtaugh took care of the horses, Claire went about gathering kindling and wood, while Jamie found some rocks to make a fire ring. Once the fire was blazing, they laid their bedrolls around the perimeter. Jamie unpacked the food as Claire made her way to the stream to wash. Feeling the soreness from the long ride over, she did some gentle stretching as best she could in her heavy skirt.

 

Jamie watched as Claire laid her cloak on her bedding and removed her shoes and stockings, traipsing down to the stream barefoot. She had sighed in relief upon taking off her shoon, remarking they were a bit tight. Luckily Claire was in view as he watched her soak her feet for a few moments before taking handfuls of the water to wash her legs and even a bit higher under her skirt, showing the milky white of her long legs. Kneeling by the stream, she washed her face, neck and hands. She proceeded to bend and twist her body into different positions to relieve the soreness.

 

Jamie was mesmerized. She had a beautiful figure, tall but not too thin, with roundness in all of the right places. His hands practically spanned her waist when he lifted her on the horse earlier. He felt himself hardening just at the sight of her, but didn’t turn away until she started making her way back to camp. Jamie called out that he’d be right back. Going in the opposite direction of Murtaugh, he moved further in the trees to take a piss.

 

Pulling his half hard cock out of his breeks, he stroked himself. Envisioning Claire’s bare legs as she washed and the roundness of her arse bent over while stretching. Stroking faster, spreading the gathering wetness with his fingers, Murtaugh interrupted him by calling from camp, “Jamie, how long does it take to piss? Come and eat, we are hungry.”

 

“Ifrinn”, stopping his hand abruptly, what the hell was he doing? Claire was no common hoor to lust after.   Tucking himself back into his breeches and wiping his hands on the grass, he walked back to camp feeling thoroughly ashamed of himself. To do this in close proximity of both of them, he’d never been consumed by such need in his life.

 

They ate the bread, cheese and bannocks Mrs. Drummond had packed. Jamie kept his eyes downcast even when Claire asked “Are you feeling alright Jaime?”

 

“My wame is a wee bit off from the apples I ate earlier, I’m just tired, no worries Claire.”

 

“I wish I had some of my herbs to make you tea, sorry you’re not feeling well. I’m sure a good night’s rest will restore your system.”

 

“Aye, let’s get this cleaned up, we have another long day of riding tomorrow.”

 

Jamie glanced up, seeing Murtaugh staring at him with a gleam in his eyes. Murtaugh knew very little upset Jamie’s stomach, certainly not apples.

 

Jamie added more wood to the fire, thankful that it was a pleasant night for May, they would not be overly cold. All three snuggled into their bedding and soon Murtaugh’s snores filled the camp. Jamie lay there staring at the clear night sky, trying, but failing to fall asleep. He could tell by Claire’s breathing that she was not asleep either.

 

“Are you well Claire?”

 

“Yes, though when I think about my situation, I get very frightened. I’m fine as long as you are talking or distracting me, but when left to my own thoughts, they race. You and Murtaugh are the only two people that I can rely on, when I realize that, it’s very frightening. I don’t think that I can sleep, even though I’m exhausted, I can’t shut down my mind. I know it’s not proper Jamie, but we are fully clothed and bound together in a way, do you think you could hold me?”

 

Jamie didn’t immediately, he didn’t know if he could just hold her, fully clothed or not. She had put her stockings back on, that might help. Letting out a large sigh, “Claire, are ye wrapped tight in your cloak and blanket?”

 

“Yes”

 

Jamie silently took his blankets, and his resolve, kneeling by Claire he spread a blanket out touching hers. Jamie, looked to the heavens, crossing himself while saying a prayer for strength.

 

Claire was laying on her side facing the fire. Jamie lowered himself next to her, scooting until he was close, but not touching her backside. Awkwardly, he spread his other blanket over the both of them.

 

Claire reached up, tucking the blanket tightly over their bodies, nestling back into Jamie. A small groan escaped his lips as her arse came in contact with his groin.

 

“I’m sorry did I hurt you Jamie?”

 

“No, just a bit sore from the long ride today. I’ve got ye, close your eyes and sleep lass, you’re safe.”

 

Jamie tempered himself, resolving not to let another indecent incident happen like earlier. He kept his chest a few inches away from her back, one armed bent, supporting his head and the other laying over his stomach. Jamie felt Claire slowly relaxing, her breathing become soft and steady as she fell asleep. He prayed to the Lord for strength and safety for Claire, Murtaugh and himself for the trials in the days to come. Finally the warmth of the fire and Claire’s body drew him under into slumber himself.

 


	8. Rise and Shine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but I wanted to get at least something posted. Been sick with a bad cold and family issues. Hoping to get more posted soon. Thank you for your patience, messages and kudos!

Chapter 8 – Rise and Shine

 

Jamie woke hazily, the feeling of warmth along his left side, left hand brushing against a soft surface, he gathered the warmth closer. A sigh of contentment, not coming from his own lips, forced his eyes open. He was lying on his back with Claire pressed up against him, partially draped across his body. Their top layer of blankets had been tossed aside during the night and she had snuggled into him, seeking his body heat. Her head nestled into the curve of his neck, arm thrown across his chest, her left leg was bent, thigh lying pressed against his groin. Glancing down, Jamie could see an expanse of smooth white leg peeking out between her skirt and her stocking. Claire’s ample bosom, pressed against his chest, was partially in view as well, apparently her fescue had been lost during the night. A dhia, his breath increasing rapidly at the sight and feel of her beautiful body. He really should put a bit of space between them, but he loathed to disturb her, she was breathing evenly in slumber. With slow movements, he moved his arm from around her waist and grabbed the blanket, cocooning them both once more in a cozy haven. “Mo nighean donn”, he whispered, stroking her curls and placing a soft kiss on her forehead, eventually falling back into sleep.

 

Claire reluctantly woke to Jamie disentangling himself from their nest, stretching and opening her eyes, she saw that dawn was just breaking.

 

Kneeling by her side, Jamie smiled down at her, “best be up Claire, we need an early start if we are to reach Leoch at a decent hour tonight. Murtaugh’s laid out a bit of food and is readying the horses.”

Mumbling about cheerful morning people, she scowled at Jamie, making her way into the bushes.

 

Chewing her bannocks, she watched Jamie and Murtaugh inspect Biscuit’s hoof. “Claire, did your mount stumble or lose her footing yesterday? She’s favoring her right front leg, seems to be tender.” Jamie asked.

 

Claire rushed to Biscuit, stroking her soft nose, “No, I didn’t notice anything at all.”

 

“Could just be a stone bruise then, but I dinna want to put much weight on her, except maybe a light pack. Sassenach, you’ll have to ride with me on Sleepy.” Jamie didn’t look disappointed in the least.

 

Jamie could tell Claire was used to living rough with her uncle, the three worked well together breaking camp and quickly mounting their steeds, they were soon on their way. The weather was pleasant with a gentle breeze and a comfortable temperature, Biscuit had no trouble keeping up as they set a steady pace.

 

Riding astride with her skirts bunched around her legs, Claire rested her back comfortably against Jamie’s strong chest. She knew she had curled herself tight against him last night, having woken to the hardness of him pressed against her, his arm holding her close. She felt comfort and peace when snuggled against him, though it made little sense rationally, only knowing him a few days. But Claire owed him an explanation and the truth, now was a perfect time for an uninterrupted conversation. Murtaugh was riding a bit ahead and if he overheard, that was okay. It would save Jamie or Claire explaining later and she trusted Murtaugh explicitly.

 

Jamie spoke in her ear, “Something ye want to share with me lass or do ye need a private moment? You’re squirming like a toad.”

 

“Yes, I do need to share something Jamie. Keep an open mind and please hear me out to the end, then I will answer any questions you ask. Also, promise me that you won’t have me burnt at the stake.”


	9. The Truth Will Set You Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this has been a slow burn, but it's really only been a few days that Jamie and Claire have known each other. But don't despair, things are going to heat up soon. Thank you again for the comments and kudos, you are appreciated!
> 
> Once more, please excuse any errors in grammar or punctuation, I have no Beta and it's been a few years since college English, lol.

Chapter 9 – The Truth Will Set You Free

 

 

“Yes, I do need to share something Jamie. Keep an open mind and please hear me out to the end, then I will answer any questions you ask. Also, promise me that you won’t have me burnt at the stake.”

 

Jamie answered, “Aye, I promise I’ll see no harm come to ye Claire. Tell me your tale Lass.”

 

“I made up the amnesia story because I couldn’t possibly tell the guards, Randall, or even you at the time, the truth. I had nothing else I could tell them Jamie, I’m….I’m from the future.” Claire stammered.

 

Claire felt Jamie stiffen behind her as he drew in a deep breath, remaining silent. Holding the reins with his left hand, right hand resting on his thigh, his fingers began tapping against his breeks.

 

“I’m from 200 years in the future, 1946. I haven’t lied to you Jamie, everything I told you was true, my parent’s death, Uncle Lamb, our travels, my schooling and healing abilities. There is much more……….I’m married, was married, oh hell, will be married, this is all very complicated. Frank, my husband, and I were in Inverness on a second honeymoon and things had not been going well since we reconnected after the war. This was a huge war, involving many countries, but more about that at another time. Frank and I were both in this war, he as an undercover operative, or spy, while I was on the front line as a nurse. In our time, this is an educated healer. We had been apart for several years and time and circumstances had changed us greatly. I had matured and decided on a different course for our lives than he had envisioned. But that was just one detail. Frank had changed drastically, he wasn’t the loving attentive man I had married. He didn’t want to be with me anymore, intimately, if you know what I’m saying. He didn’t even really want me at all, he wanted a totally different version of me, a woman he had made up in his mind. All we did was argue and he accused me of being unfaithful to him during the war, but I suspected Frank had been the one unfaithful to me. When I confronted him, he got angry and turned violent. ”

 

“He dinna hurt ye now?” Jamie questioned in a low voice.

 

“No, because I let the matter drop. But I was frightened Jamie, I made the decision to leave him and seek a divorce.”

 

“A divorce, I’m no familiar with the term.”

 

Claire continued, “I didn’t study history, but I’m pretty sure you don’t have divorces in Scotland in this century. It means you can legally dissolve a marriage. They aren’t all that common in the 1940’s either. I didn’t love Frank anymore and I had an epiphany after seeing so much agony and death during the war, I wanted to be happy and fulfilled. I chose a different course for my life.”

 

“I don’t know how I came to be here Jamie, but thinking back over the circumstances of that day, it must be connected to the Pagan Sun ceremony at the standing stones on the Fairy Hill. I went up to pick some flowers, Forget Me Nots, and the wind came up, I lost my balance, put both hands on the stone, next thing I knew, I woke up hearing gunshots and running for my life.” Claire had been fine while telling her tale, but all of the strength left her upon completion.

 

“So there you have it Jamie. Do you think I’m crazy? Raving mad?” Claire asked tearfully, her voice choking on the words.

 

Jamie’s right hand left his thigh and wrapped around Claire’s waist, gently pulling her back against him, “No…..No, I believe ye. I even think I understand it a bit. There is an old Gaelic tale…….”

 

_“I am a woman of Balnain._

_The folk have stolen me over again,_

_The stones seemed to say._

_I stood upon the hill, and the wind did rise,_

_And the sound of thunder rolled across the land._

_I placed my hands upon the tallest stone_

_And traveled to a far, distant land_

_Where I lived for a time among strangers_

_Who became lovers and friends._

_But one day, I saw the moon come out_

_And the wind rose once more._

_So I touched the stones_

_And traveled back to my own land_

_And took up again with the man I had left behind.”_

Jamie’s voice trailed off and there was silence as they both digested the words he had spoken. Claire had been soothed by his deep voice and Scots brogue.

 

“So the woman, she went back to her own time?” Claire asked

 

“Aye, they always do. When I found ye at the stones crying with your hands bloodied and scratched, ye were trying to get back to your time, back to Frank?” Jamie asked.

 

“Yes, I was trying to get back to my time. I wanted to settle and end things with Frank, I’m not in love with him anymore. Sadly, I’m not sure I ever truly was. I met him at University, he was a professor and a good bit older than me. I think I was infatuated with his intelligence and I was all alone in the world. I was finished with our marriage, but due to the stones, I’ll never have the chance to explain. Now he will have no closure and will be wondering if I had run off with another man. I don’t want this shadow in my own time, but there’s nothing I can do about it now, is there? I can’t get back through the bloody stones again.”

 

Tears of frustration ran down Claire’s face for the loss of the world she had known, gone in an instant. Twisting her body as much as she could riding astride a horse, she pressed her face into Jamie’s broad chest. He enveloped her with his one arm, wiping her face gently with the end of his plaid, speaking soothing words that Claire couldn’t understand.

 

The weary party eventually stopped for a late afternoon meal. The three ate silently all contemplative, turned inward with their own thoughts. Claire was confident that Murtaugh had heard most of their conversation. Although a man of few words, he was even quieter than usual. Claire kept glancing at Jamie, but his face gave little away, his silence spoke louder than words. She had felt comfortable and safe being with Jamie, but telling her tale had brought sadness and fear back into her mind. What was she going to do?

 

Mounted once more, they started on the final leg of their journey. Jamie broke the silence, “Claire, I dinna mean to add to your troubles, but I must warn ye about Leoch. I’m thinking that Laoghaire will no be happy in the least that we are handfast. I want ye to stay away from her, I’ve seen her slap a serving maid for spilling a goblet of wine on her once. She quickly apologized after seeing the look of disgust on my face, but the damage was done. She’s quick to temper and I don’t trust her.”

 

“Then there’s Colum. I know this might be uncomfortable for ye, but we must act like we’ve consummated our bond. If he sees any doubt, he’ll have ye locked away and me married to Laoghaire in the blink of an eye so he can go through with his succession plan. Colum will have clansmen keeping eyes on us. The only people I trust at Leoch are ye, Murtaugh and Ned. But even Ned can’t be trusted one hundred percent, he is the MacKenzie solicitor. So, we must be affectionate with each other. People will be watching and reporting back to Colum”

 

“You must also stick to your tale of memory loss when he questions ye and answer truthfully that ye bound yourself to me to keep ye out of Randall’s hands, he will no question the wisdom of that. Let me do most of the talking. I know ye speak your mind, but ye must tread lightly at Leoch. I expect that woman had more freedoms in your time, education, divorces and the like. But this is a different century and I’m asking ye to trust me.”

 

Jamie’s took a deep breath, putting his mouth next to Claire’s ear, “I don’t want to change ye Lass, I just want to keep ye safe for the time you are with me.”

 

Claire didn’t speak, but nodded and laid her hand over Jamie’s on his thigh and squeezed tight.


	10. Leoch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that I've been writing for a bit, I'm thinking one chapter a week is all my schedule will allow me to write. I have tons of ideas and thoughts, but not enough time to get them written. Thank you for being faithful readers, commenting and following this story! I "promise" to post one chapter a week unless an emergency arises, then I will let you all know. Cheers and hugs!

Chapter 10 – Leoch

 

Night had turned pitch black by the time the ragged threesome road silently into the courtyard of Leoch. A stable lad ran up to Jamie whispering excitedly. Jamie issued instructions regarding the horses, then Murtaugh, Jamie and Claire lugged their parcels toward the castle.

 

They entered by the door off of the kitchen, hoping that all of the dinner food would not have been put away yet. A whirlwind of a middle aged woman, in a white cap and a kindly face, was supervising the kitchen staff as they entered, she looked up at the bedraggled trio. Walking over, her eyes slowly scanning Claire, “You must be the Englishwoman that’s handfasted to Jamie then. Aye, we heard all aboot it.” Pausing for a moment of contemplation she continued “Nothing to be done about it now. I’m Mrs. Fitzgibbons, but you may call me Mrs. Fitz.”

 

Nodding to Jamie and Murtaugh, “Welcome back lads, help yourselves to the food still laid oot on the table. We had a messenger on the road spot you and told us you would arrive tonight. As soon as you’re all done feasting, the Laird would like a word with Jamie and Claire. He wants to speak with you both as soon as your bellies are full.”

 

“Jamie, I’ve moved your belongings to the healer’s chambers, adjacent to the surgery. Both have been scrubbed until they sparkle. I’ve also acquired a larger bed that will fit the both of you. I’ll send warm water so you can both freshen before sleep.” Then with a command to the few kitchen maids still present, Mrs. Fitz bustled out, the maids following.

 

A fierce blush rolled over Jamie’s face, clearing his throat he looked to Claire, “That went better than I expected. Mrs. Fitz is Laoghaire’s grandmother, ye ken? She loves the lass, but I’ve also seen her reprimand her a few times and shake her head more often than that. She doesn’t seem to hold animosity toward ye Claire, tis a very good thing.” Tucking into their bannocks and ham they ate quickly.

 

After finishing his meal, Murtaugh came around the table, kneeling next to Claire, “You do what Jamie tells you lass, he knows best how to handle his uncles and the clan folk here at Leoch. Remember, I won’t be far from you or Jamie if you need me. Now I’m off to my bed, I’m getting far too old for hell bent rides and sleeping on the ground.” He rose with a groan and headed out the door they had arrived through.

 

Jamie took ahold of Claire’s hand and led her through the castle. There were sconces set into the walls along the dark stone corridors to help light their way, but Claire had lost all sense of direction by the time they arrived at a winding stone stairway. Upon reaching the wooden door at the top, Jamie smiled down at Claire, “Courage Sassenach”, he tapped the door once, pushing it open as they stepped inside.

 

Claire took in the spacious study that was clearly the Laird’s domain. Wide windows that would let in the light of day, a myriad of large metal bird cages in front of and bordering the windows, full of colorful birds that had ceased their activities for the evening. Candles, sconces and a large roaring fire made the room warm and welcoming. The walls were lined in bookcases brimming with leather tomes, paintings and tapestries, completing the cozy setting.

 

Colum sat behind a large desk surveying the couple as they stood before him. Claire and Colum studied each other intently. Claire, noticing the shrewd grey eyes that matched the color of his hair, pulled back and tied at his neck.

 

Colum stood slowly and shuffled around the desk, it was then that Claire noticed the bowed shape of his short stubby legs, at odds to his straight backed torso and strong facial features.

 

“Nephew, so glad that you have finally blessed me with your presence, and you must be the Sassenach wench he has pledged himself to,” Colum spoke in a scathing tone.

 

Claire dropped in a slight curtsey, nodding her head.

 

“Good to see ye again uncle, I’m sure Dougal and Ned have filled ye in on our adventures and handfasting, so I’ll no repeat the tale. But Claire and I would ask for your blessing on our union.”

 

“My blessing, my blessing?” Colum scoffed. “You know I had plans for you nephew. You were to marry Laoghaire and assume the duties of guardian for Hamish until he comes of age. I am vastly disappointed in you!”

 

“Uncle, ye know my feelings on this! I am grateful for all of your aid, but I want to go home to Lallybroch, I have no interest in being wed to Laoghaire. I told ye I would help guide Hamish as much as possible with visits and tutoring, but just thinking about spending the rest of my days at Leoch embroiled in clan politics………it’s enough to make my wame curdle!”

 

“Well Lad, despite what Ned and Dougal told me, I know you bound yourself to this Sassenach to thwart my plans and there’s no proof of consummation. The only witness you have is Murtaugh, and he would burn in hell before betraying your wishes. I understand your bride is a widow, so there’s no proof offered from a physical examination either. I’m having this handfasting dissolved and you will wed Laoghaire!”

 

Claire watched and listened as the two battled back and forth. She was getting a glimpse of Jamie’s temper as his face turned red, voice rising in anger and fire shooting from his eyes.

 

“I WILL NOT! Claire is my wife, I am BOUND to her and we HAVE consummated our union!”

 

“Jesus H Roosevelt Christ,” Claire bellowed, interrupting their raised voices. “I will not be discussed like I’m not even here. This is the stupidest argument I have ever witnessed. “

 

Turning toward Jamie, Claire looked into his eyes, putting her hands on his shoulders to calm him, “kiss me, husband.”

 

Hearing Claire utter the word husband, Jamie felt heat radiating through his body. He bent his head as Claire, rising to her toes, pressed her lips to his. Starting out as a chaste kiss, Jamie quickly angled his head and pressed harder, his tongue lightly grazing Claire’s lower lip. She opened her mouth and their tongues met, gently swirling and learning each other. Bodies moved tightly together, hands roamed, pressing and caressing. Jamie groaned, deepening the kiss further as his large hands moved down to cup Claire’s arse, lifting her and pressing her against his hardening length. Her hands moved up to run through the curls at the base of his dampened neck, a whimper escaping her lips.

 

A loud clearing of a throat broke through their spell as they opened their stunned eyes, turning toward Colum.

 

“I didn’t ask for an actual demonstration, though I do kindly thank ye for the show.” Colum smirked.

 

Jamie and Claire stepped apart, breathing shallowly as their feature’s flushed in embarrassment, hands still firmly clasped together between them.

 

Speaking to Claire and running a hand over his face, Colum’s resigned voice continued, “I’m just hoping you are a passable healer, the last Beaton killed as many of my clan as he healed.”

 

Turning toward Jamie and speaking more forcefully, “You are not out of the woods yet nephew, we will discuss the length of your term still left here. I had to pay out a goodly sum to get you both out of Fort William.” Upon seeing Jamie start to argue, Colum held up his hand. “I’ll no more discuss this tonight, I’m tired and your bride is clearly ready for your bed. Be off with the both of you.”

 

Jamie, tugging Claire’s arm, led them quickly out of the chamber, heading down the stairs. He kept glancing at her face as his mind tried to comprehend what just occurred. Upon reaching their chamber door, Jamie had made a decision.

 

Both stepping into the room, Claire pressed Jamie against the closed door, kissing him ardently, bringing their mutual passion flaring back to life. He indulged himself in the warmth of her mouth and the feel of her body as he caressed her.

 

A rational voice in his mind interrupted, telling him if he didn’t cease, there would be no turning back.


	11. Girded for Battle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Duties and secrets interrupt things at Leoch, Jamie still has an issue he needs to share with Claire. (wink wink) Thank you again readers and commenters, I never get tired of reading you opinions! Cheers and Hugs!

Chapter 11 – Girded for Battle

 

Jamie’s body was consumed with wanting, but his mind was raging a battle. Their passionate kisses continued as his hands slowly moved up from Claire’s waist, skimming along her ribs, brushing the outside of her breasts, lingering for a moment, before reluctantly coming to rest on her shoulders. He gently nudged her back slightly, breaking the wet kiss. Their foreheads leaned against each other as their breathing evened out.

 

“Claire, lass, we need to stop.” Jamie whispered as they looked into each other’s eyes. “We’ve had a verra rocky start over the last many days, Fort William, then traveling and sleeping in the rough, but now we have some time. We are both exhausted and ye need your bed. There’s warm water over by the hearth for washing. I’m heading out to the stables to check on Murtaugh, we shared quarters above the stables and I’m going to get some of my belongings, not that I have much.” He said with a grin.

 

“I’ll be back in a bit, don’t wait up for me.” He kissed Claire gently on the forehead before heading out.

 

Claire sighed deeply, feeling the exhaustion of the long days of riding, tension from the conversation with Colum, and finally the passion with Jamie slowly leak out of her body. Undressing, she threw her dirty clothes on the floor, washed with the warm water and fragrant soap. Finding a clean shift on the bed, she sleepily pulled it over her head, snuggled into the soft feather bed and was sound asleep in seconds.

 

Jamie opened their chamber door a crack, seeing Claire slumbering, he quietly entered the room. He had donned a clean shirt after washing in his old chamber and hearing a tale from Murtaugh that raised his ire. Jamie laid a change of clothes and a few possessions on the small sofa at the foot of their bed and gingerly slipped between the covers, scooting close to Claire. She immediately gravitated towards his warmth and snuggled her back into his front without waking. Wrapping his left arm around her waist, he pulled her close, inhaling her scent. Clean skin, fragrant soap and her own special fragrance, which smelled of green things and sunshine. His last thought before falling into a deep sleep was “this is heaven.”

 

Claire woke up groggily to a knock on the door, sunlight pouring through the chamber window. Realizing she must have slept late, she rose and shuffled toward the door, calling out, “who is it?”

 

“It’s Molly MacKenzie, Mistress. Mrs. Fitz has sent me to see to your needs.”

 

Claire opened the door to a sturdy young woman with dark brown hair and a kind face smiling at her. “Please come in, I seem to have overslept.”

 

“Aye, tis just past lunch, you’ve slept half the day away. Mr. Fraser stopped in the kitchens this morning and told us not to disturb you, but to make sure you were still in the land of the living if you hadn’t come out around lunch time.” Molly answered with a giggle.

 

Claire laughed and watched Molly place a tray of food on their small table by the window. “Thank you Molly, I am alive and quite hungry, I usually never miss a meal. I’m not used to having people wait on me, as sweet as this service is, I don’t need a maid.”

 

“Och, I’m just here to assist you in getting settled and offer you any help as you get your bearings. I know you’ve traveled far and this is a strange place. Mrs. Fitz thought you might be lacking in clothing and what nots after having those thieving soldiers steal your belongings. The whole castle has heard of your plight. Now let’s see what we have and what you need, while you eat and wake up.”

 

Molly went through Claire’s meager clothing items and laid out the clean dress, stays and stockings from Mrs. Drummond. “You only have two changes of clothing and one is quite dirty. I’ll take the soiled items to brush, air and wash and speak to Mrs. Fitz about suppling you with what you need. I’ll help get you dressed, show you to your surgery and how to get to the kitchens.”

 

Claire was soon refreshed, hunger abated and ready to start her day, though late in the day it was. Molly stood back to admire Claire in the dark grey dress with small black stripes as decoration. She had twisted Claire’s curls into an attractive style.

 

“Pretty as a picture mistress. I can see why Mr. Fraser bound himself to you on the spot.” Not giving Claire a chance to thank her, Molly whisked Claire out of the room, through the hall and into the next open doorway. “This here is your surgery. Mrs. Fitz said it’s greatly lacking in inventory as it’s been awhile since we’ve had a healer at Leoch. She said to make a list of medicinals and herbs that are needed. We can send someone to Inverness for items that can’t be found in Cranesmuir, our nearest village. Geillis Duncan has a fine store of tinctures and teas that can be purchased immediately. She’s the widow of the fiscal, he died a few months ago. Some around here say she’s a witch, but I think she’s just a bit unusual.”

 

“To get to the kitchen, you just turn the other direction out of your chambers, follow the hallway, you can’t miss the noise and the scents. I must tell you, if you don’t mind being on the ground floor, you are in a great location. Your chamber has a nice wide window, so does your surgery, you’re close to the kitchen and an outside door. Well, I best be off now, if you need anything before I return, just go right and follow the hall.” Molly gave Claire a quick curtsey and off she sped.

 

Claire called out to her retreating back, “Thank you Molly” and with a glance over her shoulder and a smile, Molly disappeared in a swirl of skirts. Claire chuckled, thinking that young lady had quite the energy. Looking around, she shrugged her shoulders, settling in to take stock of her new surgery.

 

Claire was immersed in her work, though her thoughts kept straying to Jamie, when a knock interrupted her. Turning she saw a young boy standing with a note, “Pardon Mistress, but Mr. Fraser asked that I give this into your hands,” he handed her the folded note and with a quick bow, was gone.

 

Jamie had bold, slanted handwriting.

 

_“Claire, I hope ye started your day well rested and are settling in. I wasn’t planning on abandoning ye for the entire day, but with my absence, the stables are a shamble and must be set aright. May I request your presence for dinner tonight? I’ll be at our room a bit before six._

_Yours, Jamie.”_

 

Claire felt a tingle in her skin reading Jamie’s sweet words. Running her fingertips over the closing, “ _Yours, Jamie_ ”, she let out a deep sigh. She felt like she had when her and Frank had first met, but times that by one hundred. Pondering how the touch of Jamie’s fingers, hands, lips scrambled her mind and made her body react with pure sensations. Frank’s touches had been pleasant and enjoyable, but her body had never responded in the way it did when Jamie was near. It was a bit frightening, and to be honest, she was happy Jamie had halted them from indulging further last night.

 

Finding some red hairs on his pillow upon waking, she realized they had slept in the bed together, but she had no memory of him joining her or leaving this morning. Claire knew that she had one of the best nights of sleep in her life. Was that due to her exhaustion or slumbering next to Jamie?

 

She also realized he had not waited for a return note confirming she would attend him at dinner. A bit confident there lad? She smiled to herself and got back to work.

 

Claire was interrupted a bit later by Molly sticking her head into the surgery, “Mistress, I have some dresses to be fitted, if you could step into your chamber.”

 

Claire quickly obeyed and found two other young ladies putting shifts, nightgowns, stockings, slippers and other clothing items into some of the trunks along the wall. Gowns were heaped into a pile on the bed.

 

“I think you’ve found me more clothes than I could wear in a month Molly! Where did you get all of these?” an astonished Claire asked.

 

“Mrs. MacKenzie, Lady Letitia she likes to be called, Colum’s wife, you’ll meet her at dinner. These are older gowns that were in storage. You’re verra close to the same size, though you have a bonnier bosom, but I wouldn’t remark on that if I were you. Lady Letitia is glad to have someone wear her gowns, she does love her clothing. But who can fault the Lady, with Colum’s illness they don’t get out much. Fashion is one of her pleasures, along with riding and of course young Hamish.”

 

“Now, we can adjust for the added bosom with the stomacher and laces.” Molly continued as she stepped back and eyed Claire thoughtfully. “I think her shoes should be a good fit also. Pick out a gown you’d like to prance into the hall wearing for dinner, we’ll check the fit, make a few adjustments and you’ll dazzle them all. No one will be questioning why the most eligible male at Leoch chose you over the clan lasses, who are always following him around. Like a dog with a bone, if you ask me.” At this Molly glanced at the two young maids busy laying out the gowns for Claire to choose from. They both turned a shade of pink.

 

Claire was a bit taller than Lady Letitia, but with flat slippers and lace added to the hem of a few of the dresses, she would have a substantial wardrobe immediately. The dresses that were deemed too short were taken to be adjusted so that she could wear them with boots or heeled shoes. Once again, Claire felt like she had been hit by a cyclone by the time the three young maids bustled out with their arms full of items to be altered.

 

Claire was looking at her reflection in the mirror when Jamie knocked softly, asking if he could enter. Upon her approval he opened the door and stopped in his tracks. His eyes slowly roamed over her, from head to toe.

 

“Claire, ye are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” Eyes glistening as he moved toward her, bowing and placing as soft kiss on her cheek.

 

Claire was speechless as she took in a new vision of Jamie. The dirty breeks and stained shirt had been replaced by a clean linen shirt, black waistcoat and a kilt of crimson and black. His hair had been washed and brushed back with a few curls escaping over his forehead, though he still hadn’t shaved. His face was dusted with the start of a red and gold beard that Claire found extremely attractive. He was wearing his same black boots, but they had been cleaned and buffed.

 

Finally finding words, she stammered out, “Thank you Jamie, you are quite the handsome Scot yourself. Is this a new kilt?”

 

“Not new, though rarely worn, it’s my Fraser colors. Do you realize we compliment each other quite well?”

 

Claire then noticed her own gown was close to the same shade of crimson, with black accents on the sleeves. A black stomacher and slippers completed her ensemble. They truly looked like they had planned the matching clothing.

 

Realizing that they were going to be the center of attention, Claire panicked asking, “Is it too much, should I change?”

 

Jamie, looking straight into Claire’s worried eyes replied, “No, let their tongues wag. If anything, this,” motioning at their clothing, “will show we are a united front.”

 

Kissing her check again, he took her hand, placed a soft lingering kiss on her palm and placed her hand on his arm. “Let’s get on with it then, into the fray Sassenach”. They exited their chamber, moving toward the great hall and the clan that awaited their arrival.


	12. Chapter 12 - Fireside Chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, just about didn't get this written and posted this weekend, but I made a "promise", so here you go! I also "promise" that there will be some HEAT next chapter. The lovely couple had some things they needed to air out first. I might even get a bonus chapter posted this week due to a less hectic schedule! Keeping fingers crossed. Thank you loyal readers!

Fireside Chat

 

As Claire and Jamie entered the great hall, conversation ceased and all eyes turned to watch as the couple strode toward the high table at the end of the hall. Claire scanned the room with her eyes, keeping her head held high and steady. She noticed the many candles, sconces and lanterns illuminating the large room in a welcoming light. There were long wooden trestle tables with benches lining both sides of the hall, filled with Scots donned in tartan and gowns of muted colors.

 

Claire overheard whispered words of “Fraser colors and Englishwoman” as a smattering of conversations commenced. The pair came to a stop in front of the raised table.

 

Jamie bowed, “I’d like to formally introduce my wife, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp Fraser.”

 

“Claire, you have already met my uncles, Dougal and Colum MacKenzie. This in my aunt, Lady Letitia, Colum’s wife, and last but not least, Master Hamish MacKenize, Colum and Letitia’s son.”

 

Claire sank into a deep curtsey, “Mister MacKenzies, nice to see you again, pleased to make your acquaintance, Lady Letitia and Hamish.”

 

Before Lady Letitia could utter a word, Hamish excitedly asked, “I heard a story that you threw up on an English Captain’s face when he punched you. Is it true?”

 

Sounds of gasps and a few chuckles filled the hall. Lady Letitia and Column were both looking decidedly uncomfortable.

 

Claire, stifling her own laughter replied, “Yes I did Master Hamish. Though I’m not sure who was more surprised, myself or Captain Randall. But, I’ve never been more proud of my stomach.”

 

The hall filled with laughter and before Hamish could question Claire further, Lady Letitia quickly spoke, a relieved look on her face, “I’ll have a word with my son on proper table manners, Claire. Please call me Letitia and I must say, you look quite fetching in that gown. Now, off with the both of you, I’m sure you’re famished and looking forward to dinner.”

 

Claire and Jamie nodded their heads before making their way to the last table on the right. Jamie helped Claire slide in next to Murtaugh and he sat next to her on the end.

 

Murtaugh grinned at Claire, patting her on the arm, “well done lass. You’ve already charmed Letitia and that’s not an easy thing to do.”

 

Jamie looked at the Scots sitting at their table with a warning gaze, “This is my wife, Claire, as you’ve all heard. Claire, this is Rupert MacKenzie,” nodding to a large man with a kind face and a bushy black beard.

 

“Next to him is Angus Moore.” Angus was a small man, missing his two front teeth, clean shaven but sporting long black hair.

 

“And this fine fellow sitting next to Angus is Alec McMahon, master of the horse. He’s been at Leoch longer than most of us have been alive, why we call him Old Alec. He’s a cantankerous old man, is Alec. Tis why he sleeps with the horses and why I’ll be cranky by the time I come home to you in the evening.” Jamie teased with a glint in his eyes.

 

“Dinna be listening to him lass, if I’m crotchety, it’s only because young Jamie here is the cause. Always up to some mischief and running away to escape the castle lasses, hard to get a good days work out of the lad,” Alec retaliated. “Welcome to Leoch, Mrs. Fraser.”

 

“Nice to meet all of you, thank you for the warm welcome,” Claire smiled and nodded.

 

They all tucked into their meal of venison stew and warm bannocks slathered in butter.

 

The dessert of sticky toffee pudding was just served, when Rupert spoke to Claire, “Ned says you don’t remember anything before Fort William. Has any of your memory returned now that your head injury has healed?”

 

Claire looked down at her hands, a long pause before answering, “when I woke up in that cold cell with a bump on my head and a throbbing headache, I was fidgeting with my left ring finger. I remember looking down at my finger and seeing a pale circle, realizing that my wedding ring was missing, but also realizing that my husband was gone. It wasn’t actually a memory, more a knowledge in my soul. That’s when I panicked and must have made a noise, the guards rushed in and started questioning me. The rest you know from Dougal and Ned. I really don’t like to bring the whole incident to mind, it’s quite upsetting.”

 

Claire raised her head and the Scots could see the truth in her eyes. Jamie pressed up against her side, reached over and squeezed her hand lightly in support.

 

Alec said kindly to Claire, “had a young man kicked in the heid by a horse, didn’t remember anything for the whole six months. He woke up one day and could remember every single detail of his life. Don’t fret Claire, I’m thinking you’ll get your memory back also.”

 

Claire smiled and mouthed a thank you.

 

Angus, with a naughty glint in his eye, spoke up, “Looks like a lucky day for the both of you at Fort William then. Jamie saved Claire from Randall by the handfasting and Claire saved Jamie from a life of blue ba…….” his last word was cut off by a sharp jab in his ribs from Alec.

 

A red faced embarrassed Jamie abruptly stood, grabbed Claire’s hand and tugged, “I’m ready to leave, come with me please.”

 

Claire wanted to protest that she hadn’t finished her pudding, but for once in her life, did what she was asked, as the table behind them exploded with laughter.

 

Entering their chamber, Jamie paced back and forth, running his hands through his red curls, leaving them in a tousled state. Claire filled two glasses with whisky, sat in one of the chairs by the fire and sipped her drink while watching Jamie. She waited patiently, trying not to break out in giggles over what Angus said.

 

Jamie eventually sat opposite Claire, picked the whisky up from their small table and joined her in drinking. Clearly struggling with how to start the conversation, he finally took a nice big gulp and began speaking.

 

“I was very proud of ye tonight Sassenach. Ye walked into the hall looking like a queen and I know ye were quaking inside. I couldn’t take my eyes off of ye standing there in front of the MacKenzie’s, tall and proud. In fact when ye are in my vision, my eyes are drawn to ye and I can’t look away.” He lost himself for a moment in her eyes. “Do ye know your eyes are the same color as a fine whisky? I could drown in them Claire.”

 

Clearing his throat Jamie continued, “Anyway, what Alec said tonight about the lasses, it’s embarrassing, but they did seek me out, especially Laoghaire. I was no interested in any of them. I thought for a bit maybe the match between myself and Laoghaire would work, but I’ve told ye about her ill personality, and I couldn’t see me binding myself to her or any of the other castle lasses. I want to go home to Lallybroch.”

 

“But also what Angus was trying to say, it’s true, I’ve never lain with a woman Claire.”

 

Claire choked on her whisky, “What? I really am surprised Jamie. How did you go to University in France and remain a virgin? I don’t want to embarrass you, but I understand the attraction of the castle girls, you are quite the catch Jamie. May I ask, how old are you?”

 

“I’m 23 and I have had my hands on a few girls, kissed more than a few in fact. But my dad told me years ago that a man has to be careful where he spreads his seed. A bairn is a responsibility and if I dinna see a lifetime of marriage with the lass, I shouldn’t bed her. So, I haven’t and I won’t.”

 

“Claire, it’s no secret that I want ye, my hands burn to touch ye, but our situation, it’s……complicated at best. You’ve been thrown into a world not your own and I won’t stand a chance of getting ye with child until we are totally committed to a future together.”

 

“I’ve been thinking about your stones, stories and old tales I have heard. We had an old lady at a croft at Lallybroch, Grannie McNab. She used to talk about the magic stones and the sun and moon times of the year. I don’t remember it all, didn’t think I’d ever need to really listen, but ye traveled on May 1, during a Pagan sun ritual of some sort. I recall a moon ritual, but that’s where it gets fuzzy in my brain, the timing. I’m thinking twice a year maybe. It might be possible for ye to travel through the stones again if we time it correctly. Maybe end of October?” With that Jamie’s voice trailed off.

 

“Jamie, do you want me to go?” asked Claire.

 

Jamie shook his head, “NO, I dinna want ye to go. But these are dangerous times mo nighean donn. I think ye are safer in your time and ye have plans of becoming a doctor………I just want ye to be happy and do what’s best for yourself.”

 

Claire sighed, “I’m not sure what to think or say, I’m so confused. Jamie, I feel this strong connection to you also. This pull we have toward each other scares me, if I’m being honest. But, I question if it’s because I feel safe with you or something more. Now you bring up the possibility of returning to my own time! My head is spinning. It was easier when I thought I could never return.”

 

“Do not fret Sassenach, we have some time. Let us really get to know each other, spend time together. I might end up getting on your nerves, though I don’t see how. Ye might be lazy and fart in your sleep. I don’t know if I could live with that.” Jamie tried winking at her in his odd way which made him look like a giant red owl.

 

Claire did her best to look affronted, but gave in and laughed. “I do not fart in my sleep.”

 

“How would ye know, you’re asleep. Seriously, we do have to keep the united front when out and about in the castle. Ye made quite the impression tonight, but there are still those not happy with either of us at the moment. We must be careful.”

 

Claire nodded and sipped in silence, her mind going in a million directions. Too exhausted to process everything, she finished her drink and stood.

 

“I’m calling it a night. Are you comfortable if I undress down to my shift while you’re in the room?”

 

“Aye, I’ll do the same. Down to my shift….. my shirt…..ifrinn.” Jamie stammered out.

 

Turning their backs, they hastily removed their garments, secured the room for the night and faced each other.

 

“Jamie, I liked sleeping with you, I slept very well last night. Can we share the bed again? Only if you’re willing?”

 

“Claire, when I woke up this morning nestled into your warm body, if felt like bliss.”

 

When they got into bed, Claire kissed Jamie on the cheek and rolled over facing away from him. Jamie, put his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to his body, spooning around her.

 

“Is this okay Sassenach?”

 

He felt her nod yes, so he moved the hair from her neck and gave her a soft warm kiss behind her ear and felt her shiver.

 

“Pleasant dreams Claire, good night.”

 

“Good night Jamie.”


	13. A Plan Takes Shape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a little heat in this chapter, I hope you feel it and would love your input. Sorry I'm so late posting on Sunday night, had houseguests and then had to watch Game of Thrones. Thank you for reading and commenting! Hugs!

Jamie’s senses woke before he did. Warm, smooth skin of a thigh under his palm, the soft womanly shape pressed along the length of his body, scents of Claire and soap, and the brush of breath across his neck.

 

He slowly opened his eyes, viewing Claire’s curls and sleeping face snuggled into his shoulder. Shifting a bit, careful not to wake her, Jamie pressed soft kisses along her brow and across her cheeks. He couldn’t fight the need for touch as his fingers replaced his lips, softly tracing down her long neck and over the wings of her collar bones. His eyes traveled down her body as well, lingering on her breasts, the tops just peaking over the neckline of her shift. A Dhia, he’d never seen such a beautiful sight in his life.

 

Jamie noticed the change in Claire’s steady breathing and looked up to see her eyes, pools of warm whisky, open and watching his face. Her fingers traced over his jaw and her thumb ran delicately along his bottom lip. Her own lips whispered, “kiss me Jamie.”

 

Their mouths touched gently at first, then lips parted and tongues explored tasting whisky, sleep and desire. Bodies shifted unknowingly, until both were lying on their sides fully pressed into each other, Claire’s thigh resting over Jamie’s hip. Jamie’s hands caressed the long lines of Claire’s back before moving to cup her bottom and pull her closer to his hardening length. A low moan escaped his lips as they traveled from her mouth to her neck and finally the top of her exposed chest, leaving kisses and delicate nips across her heated skin.

 

Jamie whispered breathlessly, “Ye have very fine skin Sassenach, like pearl.”

 

One of Claire’s hands cupped the back of Jamie’s head, pressing him closer, her fingers running through his curls. Her other hand explored the long muscles of Jamie’s back through his shirt, caressing and learning. Soft sighs and little grunts escaped Claire’s lips and the friction between their bodies built as they pressed and rocked together.

 

Jamie’s lips were pushing aside her shift to reach more of her breasts when a knock on their chamber door interrupted.

 

“Excuse me Mistress Fraser, it’s Molly and I’m sorry to wake you, but I put a patient in your surgery. A kitchen lad with a burn.”

 

“Give me a moment Molly.” Sighing, Claire regretfully untangled herself from the warmth of Jamie and their heated bed and strode across the room to open the door a crack.

 

“Molly, could you please bring us a bite to eat and some clean water for the surgery. I’ll dress quickly and be there right away.”

 

“Aye, right away.” Molly smiled, seeing the whisker burns running along Claire’s neck and chest. She hurried to the kitchen, chuckling with the knowledge that the single castle lasses needed to set their sights on a new target.

 

Jamie rounded the corner of the privacy screen to see Claire rummaging through her clothing for a simple and serviceable dress for a day of work. Jamie pondered what to say to her when, she turned and he saw the redness along her jaw, neck and chest.

 

“I’m so sorry Sassenach, I’ve marred your lovely skin with my whiskers.” He moved his fingers over the red areas. “I’ll shave tonight.” He bent his head to kiss her as she stood on her toes to meet his mouth.

 

As soon as their lips met the fire resurfaced, mouths opened, arms grasped and bodies pressed. Claire reluctantly put her hands on Jamie’s chest and pushed.

 

“Jamie, I have a patient……..I need to get dressed.”

 

“Aye, I know. But when I touch ye I lose all sense of the world around us, I’m sorry.”

 

Claire gave Jamie a quick kiss on the lips before they parted and proceeded to dress quickly.

 

“That’s twice you’ve apologized and you have nothing to be sorry for, I feel what’s between us also.”

 

Before he could reply, a knock sounded and Jamie opened the door to a smiling Molly.

 

“Here you go, hot tea, scones and parritch and there’s hot water in the surgery. I’ll be about in the kitchens if you need further assistance.” She shot over her shoulder, hurrying in that direction.

 

“I’m off to see to my patient, I’ll eat after his tending. Please leave me a crumb, husband.” And with that Claire hurried out the door also.

 

Jamie ate while his thoughts ran rampant. He couldn’t keep his hands from Claire, what was he to do? There was no way he could continue to share her bed, he’d find himself waking up buried deep inside her within a week, or sooner. Thank goodness for the burned kitchen lad, although that wasn’t very Christian like thinking. Jamie doubted he would have been able to stop from having her, time traveling stones be damned. His stones were damned at the moment and he needed to get to the stables and breath some fresh air.

 

The lad wasn’t burned too badly and Claire quickly tended him, sending him on his happy way after telling him to take the rest of the day for himself. She ate in her chamber and pondered what to do about her attraction to Jamie. It was all consuming when he touched or kissed her, she was shocked at her responses to him. She was afraid she would wake and find herself astride him, riding him in her sleep and that would NOT be an ideal way to take his virginity.

 

The remainder of Claire’s morning flew by, treating one ailment after another in her surgery. Most were headaches, splinters and scratches, and she realized the many visits were an excuse to view the new healer up close and personal. Claire answered all inquiries as honestly as she could and avoided prying questions by changing the subject. Most patients were friendly and welcoming with a few exceptions being the younger ladies who asked the most probing and personal questions, which she smiled and avoided.

 

Molly invited her to the kitchens for lunch, which she happily accepted. Claire, Molly and Mrs. Fitz chatted about castle life, filling Claire in on different personalities and customs at Leoch. Claire was pleased to find out that Molly was happily married and looking forward to starting a family and Mrs. Fitz informed her of the significance of Jamie wearing his family tartan to dinner.

 

“The wearing of the Fraser colors boldly stated that Jamie would not be following Colum as head of the clan MacKenzie. There are quite a few of the clan not happy with this situation, but just as many are supporters of Dougal. Tis a clan divided at the moment. But those who favored Jamie would not support him now with an English wife, so it’s basically settled. Most are just praying that Colum’s health hangs on until Hamish is old enough to assume Chieftain. I know about Jamie’s term of recompense ending this fall, so you have nothing to be worried about along these lines, Claire. How are you finding the surgery? What can I do to help?”

 

Claire gave Mrs. Fitz the list of supplies needed and asked if the castle had gardens. It was decided that she would help out in the gardens when there was down time from her patients. Mrs. Fitz would talk to Colum about the needed supplies.

 

The afternoon was filled with more minor conditions and inquiries and Claire had just returned to her chambers to freshen up for dinner when there was a tap on the door and Jamie asked, “Sassenach, may I enter?”

 

After hearing Claire’s yes, they met in the middle of the room and both said at the same time, “We need

to talk.”

 

“You first, Jamie.”

 

“No, ladies first.”

 

They stared at each other silently, then burst into laughter. “Fine, I’ll start.” Jamie conceded.

 

“Claire, as much as it pains me, I can’t share your bed anymore. I would sleep in the stables, but that would set the tongues wagging, so I’m thinking, I’ll make a bed on the floor by the fire. I’ve slept in worse places, ye ken?”

 

“Why Jamie?”

 

“To put it bluntly, I can’t keep my hands off of ye, awake or asleep. Although, I do have a bit of control when I’m awake, but it’s just a wee bit.” Jamie answered as he shuffled his feet.

 

“I wanted to talk to you regarding the same issue. I want you also Jamie. If it’s pregnancy you’re worried about, it could be fine. I never got pregnant with Frank, so it might not be an issue.”

 

“Sassenach, ye thought it might have been Frank and he never got tested, so ye don’t know for certain and I’m not taking that chance. I could not let ye go back to your time if ye were with child.”

 

“Jamie, let’s sit down, I have an idea.”

 

After getting some whisky and settling into their chairs by the fire, Claire continued.

 

“I’m not really sure how to go about telling you what’s been running through my thoughts, but oh hell……here goes. I feel on fire every time we kiss or touch and judging by your body’s reaction and what you’ve said to me, you feel the same. I don’t want you to leave our bed Jamie, I enjoy your closeness and I sleep wonderfully snuggled against you.”

 

“We can enjoy each other without actually consummating our union at this point. There’s no need for us to suffer. We just have to trust each other to not give in when things are getting past the point of no return. I know we are both strong willed and I think we can do this. What’s your thoughts?”

 

Jamie’s ears had turned red and he was staring into his glass of whisky. “Sassenach, ye know I’ve never been with a woman and have a lot to learn, ye ken. But, aye, I think ye might have a good plan here. I’ll make ye a promise, I’ll no give in during the heat of the moment. Can ye promise me the same?”

 

“Yes, I will make you the same promise, no consummating without discussion and agreement. We have already agreed to be honest with each other, but I would also like us to share thoughts and feelings. I didn’t have that with Frank. In fact, I haven’t had this with anyone since Uncle Lamb died. Can you do this Jamie?”

 

“Yes Sassenach, I accept and I believe the more we communicate, the better to foster a good relationship. It’s an interesting plan and I’m all in, as long as I can keep touching and kissing you.”

 

“Now I need to wash, shave and change my shirt for dinner. I can’t be scraping your fine skin with my whiskers if we want to put your plan into action tonight.” Jamie continued grinning as he removed his shirt.

 

Claire watched as he gathered his washing and shaving items, setting them on the table close to the window. Her eyes ran over the long lines of Jamie’s body, his muscled torso and arms, his firm backside and thighs as he walked. She could see the power of his legs, even though he still wore his trousers. He was just about to lather his face when Claire walked over and gently pushed him down to sit in the chair.

 

“I’ll shave you Jamie.”

 

Stepping between his legs, she took the lathered brush and slowly rubbed the soap into his face and neck. Jamie’s eyes were level with her bosom, which was peeking out of the top of her gown. His eyes moved up to see her bottom lip caught between her teeth as she went about her work. He put his hands on her hips and moved her a bit closer to his body, inhaling and feeling her heat, his eyes went back to staring at her chest.

 

Claire proceeded to shave Jamie at a leisurely pace with slow and steady strokes, handling his face with care and turning his head as needed. Jamie’s skin was on fire as her touch moved from cheeks, chin and finally neck. His hands caressed her hips and waist through her clothes, moving up to trace over her ribs fingers just brushing the undersides of her breasts.

 

Claire finished shaving Jamie and wiped his face with a warm cloth using slow gentle strokes, while staring into his deep blue eyes. Stepping closer to him, she bent and slowly kissed him, languidly stroking her tongue over his lips until he opened to her. The heat built as their mouths explored and Jamie’s hands came around to fondle her bum. Claire’s hands and fingers ran through Jamie’s curls and over his warm back.

 

Mouths parting, Jamie pressed kisses to her neck as his hands came up to cup her breasts. Looking questioningly into Claire’s eyes and getting a nod, he continued to stroke and learn the shape of her through her clothes. When the need for bare skin became overwhelming Jamie asked, “Can I remove your clothes, Claire?”

 


	14. Revelations of the Bed Chamber

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW - Some explicit content!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting a few days early due to the Easter weekend. I will have a housefull of company, so the next chapter won't be up until next weekend. Hope you enjoy this, new territory for me. Please give me your feedback and thank you for reading and commenting. Hugs and Easter blessing to you all!

Chapter 13 – Revelations of the Bed Chamber

 

Claire nodded to Jamie.

 

Jamie stood and starting with the gown, he unlaced the front and loosened the garment until he was able to lift it up and over Claire’s head, tossing it aside on the floor. Slowly he removed layer after layer, petticoats, stays, bum roll, all the while, caressing her silky skin with his fingers. Finally she stood before him in only her shift and stockings.

 

Stepping closer, Jamie reached his hand through the deep neckline of Claire’s shift. His fingertips traced over her breasts, learning their shape and feel, pressing and delicately pinching her nipples. Desperately, he grabbed Claire by the shoulders and pulled her abruptly against him as his mouth melded to hers.

 

Angling their heads, they deepened the kiss, exploring the warmth of each other’s mouths, tasting and savoring. Jamie was holding Claire tightly, consuming her mouth with his urgency, until she pushed against his chest.

 

“Jamie, you are suffocating me, I can’t breathe,” She gasped.

 

“I’m sorry mo nighean donn, I’ll try to be more careful. I just got…..carried away. The feel of your bare skin….. ”

 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to be gentle, you didn’t hurt me.”

 

Lost in each other’s intense stare, Jamie jumped as Claire ran her hand over his trousers, tracing his straining erection.

 

“Oh God Claire,” he leaned further into her touch.

 

Claire unfastened Jamie’s breeks, pushing them down over his hips, leaving him standing completely nude before her.

 

Jamie made to pull her to him, but Claire put her hand on his shoulder, “I want to look at you.”

 

Stepping back, Claire slowly circled Jamie, running her hands over his chest, down over his hips and buttocks until she was back, standing in front of him. Her eye’s taking in the long lines of his body and appreciating every inch and muscled plane. Lord, he was a beautiful man.

 

“Well then, fair’s fair. Take off yours as well.”

 

Claire made no move to comply, so Jamie brushed his fingers along her neck and shoulders, sending goosebumps in their wake, and moved to push her shift off of her, but she stopped him.

 

“I need to leave this on Jamie, we can’t take the chance of both of us being totally vulnerable, at least not tonight.”

 

She took Jamie’s hand and tugged him to the bed, “Lie down.”

 

Jamie pulled Claire with him as they tumbled to the bed and turned into each other’s arms. Deep kisses and firm caresses brought their bodies flush together. Jamie’s lips pressed wandering kisses along Claire’s neckline, moving to pull a nipple in his mouth through the thin material of her shift. Claire arched up into him, wanting more contact. Needing to taste flesh, Jamie pulled her shift lower until her breasts were exposed. He looked in awe as his hands caressed first one breast then the other, teasing and pinching each bud. His mouth soon replaced his hands, sucking and nibbling delicately.

 

“Is this pleasing, do ye like this?”

 

Panting, “Yes, don’t stop.”

 

Jamie sucked harder on her breasts as he moved his hands down to rub and fondle Claire’s bum through her shift. Taking a firmer grip, he pressed her harder against his raging erection. He began to move his hips, seeking further friction and contact.

 

Claire’s hands were buried deep in Jamie’s curls as he worshipped her breasts, whimpering noises escaping her lips. She felt Jamie move one hand from her bum to trail upward along her thigh, moving under the hem of her shift. Reluctantly reaching down, she stopped the wandering hand.

 

“Not tonight Jamie, let me take care of you.” Placing his wayward hand on her hip, she brought his face close to her until their lips were melded together, kissing deeply. One of her hands traveled slowly over his chest, and downward over the firm expanse of his stomach, until it came in contact with velvety steel. Claire stroked and learned the shape and feel of him in her hand.

 

Jamie let out a low groan, “A Dhia Claire, I canna…….” His hips moved in time with her hand. Their lips became frantic, devouring, tasting and biting. Jamie abruptly left her mouth and buried his head into her neck as he pumped frantically into her caresses. Uttering a sound he had never made in his life, he spilled himself into her hand, trembling and shaking with relief. Claire held him close, stroking his back and neck with her other hand, hearing Jamie mumbling in Gaelic.

 

“What are you saying?”

 

“I thought my heart was going to burst.”

 

Jamie retrieved a wet cloth to do a bit of housekeeping. His face and ears red, he kept glancing at Claire questionably as she lay watching him, a soft smile on her face. He climbed into bed and pulled her to him so that she was nestled into his chest, his arm around her shoulders.

 

Jamie planted kisses in Claire’s curls and kept starting to say something, then falling silent.

 

“Do you have questions Jamie? We agreed to honesty and openness, please don’t be shy.”

 

“I’m a Papist yen ken. I was taught self abuse was a sin, but I must admit when the wanting and the urges took over, I have been guilty of such. But Sassenach, it never felt like it did when ye were giving me pleasure under your wee hand. I thought I was going to die from the intense feelings. I feel a bit ashamed if I’m being honest and I’m sorry.”

 

“For what?”

 

“Well, letting ye do that to me, giving in to my needs……..”

 

“Jamie, this is what lovers do, they please each other. I wanted to give you pleasure, I enjoyed it. When you care about another person, it makes you happy to make them happy.”

 

“I’m certainly happy, but I’ve had Rupert, Angus and Dougal barking in my ear and giving me advice. I’m thinking they might not be the experts that they claim to be. Did ye enjoy me touching ye Sassenach? The kissing, and well, all of it?”

 

“Yes Jamie, I did, very much.”

 

“They told me woman dinna like it, most just lay there waiting for men to finish. I don’t mean to embarrass ye Claire, but ye are not bending the truth to save my feelings, are ye?”

 

“No! I’m thinking the lot of them are very poor lovers or they have had unwilling partners. Every man and woman are different, no one ever knows for certain what goes on between couples, except the couples themselves.”

 

“Can, I ask ye another question?”

 

“That is a question Jamie.”

 

A hand traveled downward and gave a sharp pinch to Claire’s bum, making her squeak and swat him.

 

A laugh rumbled deep in Jamie’s chest, “Going to be difficult are ye? My other question is, why did ye stop my hand? I needed to touch ye.”

 

“I was losing control. I had to stop your wandering hand before I was past the point of no return. We made a deal and I don’t want to break it on our first foray into intimacy. It isn’t that I didn’t want you to touch me Jamie, trust me, I crave your touch.”

 

“Hmmmm, how do I know if I’m pleasing ye? I want to Claire, more than ye know. How do I become a good lover?”

 

“Go slow and pay attention. Notice the sounds a woman makes, how she moves against you, responds to your kiss……”

 

Jamie interrupted her, “Claire, not a woman. I only want to please ye, only ye.”

 

Turning onto his side, his fingers caressed her face as pools of blue were lost in smoky depths. Eyes stinging with tears, he brought his mouth to hers, pulling her tightly against him.

 

 

 

 

Laoghaire sat at her usual dinner table surrounded by her friends, noticing nothing except the absence of Jamie and his Sassenach witch. Why hadn’t they come to dinner? Her mind battled against the logical reason why they were absent. She heard the raucous laughter from the men at Jamie’s table, but couldn’t hear the conversations. As time passed, she felt her body starting to shake with anger.

 

Angus poked Rupert in the ribs, “So why do you suppose young Jamie and his bride aren’t here for supper? Maybe he found something to eat in their chambers. If you catch drift.”

 

Rupert replied with a laugh, “Maybe a nice slice of pie.”

 

Murtaugh scolded the two, “Keep your gobs closed, no need to be talking of things you don’t know about. Was Jamie fit when he left the stables, Alec?”

 

“Aye, but he was distracted most of the day. Took me two tries to get his attention when I needed him and then I caught him about to put oats in the water trough. Head in the clouds I tell you. Not that I’m blaming the lad, oh to be young again myself.” Alec leaned back and folded his hands over his belly, a look of wanting on his face.

 

Rupert sighed, “To be honest, if I had my choice of sitting here with you lot, farting and smelling, I’d much rather be where Jamie is. Supper or no supper.”

 

All the men within hearing distance nodded their heads.

 

Laoghaire decided that she had sat as long as she could, jumping up from the bench she strode to the kitchens.

 

 

 

 

Jamie and Claire’s passionate kisses were getting heated when a loud growling interrupted the proceedings.

 

Releasing his mouth, Claire asked, “Was that your stomach, Jamie?”

 

“Aye, my constitution isn’t one for missing meals Claire. I usually have snacks or tidbits within easy reach, but I must say, my mind was elsewhere today and I haven’t had time to stock our chambers with food. Are ye hungry also?”

 

Not waiting for an answer, Jamie rolled out of bed and donned his breeks and shirt. “I’ll go to the kitchen and get us some bannocks and whatever else I can scrounge up.”

 

Leaning over and kissing her thoroughly he whispered, “hold that thought.”

 

Claire lay in a daze, feeling decidedly pleased with herself until she heard raised voices from the hallway. Rising swiftly and opening the door she saw Jamie, holding a tray with their food, and Laoghaire, face to face in a heated discussion.


	15. Laoghaire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's a quick chapter. I know this won't be to all of your liking, but it plays into the story line.  
> But never fear, I will be posting a nice long bonus chapter tomorrow.  
> Thank you for all of your kudos and comments. You are the best. Hugs!

Chapter 15 – Laoghaire

 

A heated conversation floated down the hallway to Claire, “Laoghaire, we were NEVER promised to each other. Colum filled your head with his ideas, but I never once made a pledge to ye and ye know it.”

 

“But you kissed me twice Jamie, did that mean nothing to you?”

 

“Ye basically ambushed me both times in the hall and I’ll admit I kissed ye back, but I dinna love ye Laoghaire and I’m married now. Ye need to move on.”

 

Laoghaire spat out with venom, “Move ON, move ON. I’ve loved you for years, since the first time I set eyes on you when we were young. We had our future all planned. You were going to replace Colum as Laird and I would have been the Lady of Leoch. There’s still time for us Jamie, if you haven’t gotten the Sassenach Witch with child yet.”

 

“That’s enough Laoghaire! Dinna be calling my wife a Witch and ye need to make new plans for your future. You made those all in your head without a single word of encouragement from me. Now, I must see to the needs of my wife. Excuse me.”

 

Claire watched from their doorway as Jamie turned his back to a livid Laoghaire and strode toward her.

 

Seeing Claire, Laoghaire called out, “You know I’ve been in Jamie’s bed and I’ll replace you there again soon!”

 

Stepping into their room, Jamie placed the tray on the table by the fireplace.

 

“I expect ye heard all of that, sorry. I canna believe she was stalking me yet again, waiting for me to get food from the kitchen. She arrived as I was headed back here, I’m sorry Sassenach.” Jamie stated while running his hands through his curls.

 

“Jamie, what does she mean, she’s been in your bed? I think I deserve an explanation.”

 

“Aye, ye do. It’s really nothing for ye to be upset about, but it made me madder than the blazes. I’ll tell ye while we eat.”

 

Jamie had brought an assortment of cheeses, dried meats, bannocks and honey. Claire poured them some whisky and between bites Jamie explained, “Shortly before I left to go to Inverness, the clan was in the great hall after supper. Laoghaire had started becoming more attentive to me and I was having trouble avoiding her of late, so I was keeping an eye on her, waiting for her to be occupied so that I could slip out to my bed in the stables. I saw her nod to her father, Hugh, then leave the room. I turned my attention to Hugh and saw him take a seat by the fire. I’ve never quite trusted the man and I’ve never seen him stay in the hall after supper. I had a tingling feeling up my spine that they were up to no good. I approached the man and asked if he’d care for a game of chess and a glass of whisky. I said it loud enough for others to overhear and some started pulling their chairs over to watch.”

 

“I might have a wee bit of a reputation when it comes to chess, Sassenach. I won the first game easily, but to prolong the play, I lost the second and kept him dangling throughout the third, a very lengthy game, until I saw a red faced Laoghaire return to the hall. I quickly brought the game to an end, astonishing a very frustrated opponent, finished my whisky and left immediately.”

 

“When I got to the stables, Murtaugh was pacing and cursing. He had just returned to Leoch after a trip to Cranesmuir, needed to have a word with me and found an unclothed Laoghaire lying in my bed. Needless to say, they were both shocked.”

 

Claire sputtered before finally speaking, “You think Laoghaire and her father had this planned?”

 

“Aye, I do. Upon further reflection, it would have been perfect. I’m sure he and a friend were going to just happen to come to talk to me and would find his naked daughter in my bed. It wouldn’t have mattered that I was still dressed and uninterested. Her reputation would have been ruined and Colum would jump on this chance to see us wed. It would also have improved Hugh’s social standing immensely, having a daughter married to the future Laird.”

 

“Then, the night ye, I and Murtaugh arrived back at Leoch, Laoghaire did the same thing again. I’m pretty sure she hadn’t thought I’d be spending the night with ye in the castle, assuming I would find her in my bed in the stables. It was her last ditch effort to seduce me, if nothing else, ye would find out she was waiting for me and it would cause strife between us. But poor Murtaugh found her again.” Jamie laughed and shook his head.

 

“Sassenach, I don’t trust her in the least. She’s a vindictive lass with an evil heart. Please be cautious in regards to her.” Jamie gently cupped Claire’s face.

 

“I will Jamie. But, I’m not the meek type, she might bite off more than she can chew.”

 

Chuckling, Jamie stood, arching his back and stretching with a groan. “Ye wore me out wife, to bed with ye. I mean to sleep and I want to hold ye in my arms.”

 

Claire slipped her arms around Jamie, tucking her head underneath his chin. “I’m happy to oblige, husband.”

 

Jamie removed his breeks and they were soon spooning, snuggled tight together in bed, Jamie’s hand holding Claire’s breast over her shift. But it wasn’t quite enough for Jamie.

 

“Claire, can ye push your shift down to your waist, I need to feel your skin.”

 

After some shuffling, Jamie was holding a soft bare breast in his warm hand. He kissed Claire’s neck, inhaling her unique scent. Both sighing and relaxing completely, they were soon sound asleep.


	16. Music of the Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW - Explicit content in this chapter. Rated M for mature. 
> 
> Here is the chapter for the week ahead. I am off to Scotland today through next Monday 5/6, so there won't be another one posted next weekend. Thank you for your comments and kudos! Cheers!

 

Jamie was up and gone by the time Claire was ready to start her day. Dressed, she peeked into the surgery and seeing it empty, made her way to the kitchen for some breakfast.

 

“Good morning Claire. There’s some parritch left in the pot here, help yourself.” Mrs. Fitz cheerfully greeted.

 

“Thank you, guess I won’t be tending the gardens in this weather, it’s raining cats and dogs out there. I have no patients and I’m sorry, I’m not very handy in the kitchen. Is there anything else I can help you with?” Claire inquired as she ate.  

 

Before Mrs. Fitz could reply, a young boy hurried into the room and handed Mrs. Fitz a note. After reading, she turned to Claire.

 

“Colum has asked for more of his tonic. I’m not sure if you found the receipt in Mr. Beaton’s scribblings, but it helps relieve his pains, which are always worse in this weather. I have one more bottle here, but I hope you can find how to make more.”

 

Claire opened the top, sniffing the bottle Mrs. Fitz had given her, “I’ll see what I can do. I have something else in mind to help at the moment. Can you please have some warm water and cloths brought up to Colum’s chambers? I’ll take this up with me.”

 

“Here’s the cloths and I’ll have Thomas bring the water up as soon as it is heated. Thomas, show Mrs. Fraser the way to the Laird’s chambers and return here shortly.”

 

Claire dropped by her surgery, gathered some oil and teas that would be of help for pain and they quickly made their way upstairs.

 

After reassuring a skeptical Colum that she could help relieve some of his discomfort, Colum agreed to let Claire aid him. He drank her tea, making disapproving faces as he sipped and after Thomas arrived with the warm water, Claire set to work. An hour of treatment involving, tea, warm soothing cloths and a gentle but firm massage with oil, found a shiny pink Colum wrapped in a dressing gown, sitting by his fire, more relaxed and pain free than he had been since the ill fatted day of his accident.

 

“Mrs. Fraser, I must compliment you. Seems your doctoring skills were actual and not some invented farce.” Colum sat silently watching Claire, waiting for a response.

 

“Thank you and I assure you sir, I do know what I am about when it comes to healing. However, I am in short supply of many items needed in my surgery. Mrs. Fitz mentioned a town close by and a visit to Mrs. Duncan who could help me restock the needed items. I was wondering if this could be arranged soon?”

 

“Aye, I’ll give ye and your husband leave to go and get your medicinals in Cranesmuir, Jamie knows the way. I noticed you were both absent from dinner last night, hoping you dinna go hungry,” Colum winked at Claire.

 

 

After getting no reply from a stoic Claire, he continued, “There will be music in the hall tonight after dinner and I would like you both to attend, to show my appreciation for your doctoring. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m feeling well enough to get some work done in my library.” Colum stood, dropped his robe and started dressing. Claire realized she had been rather abruptly dismissed.

 

Claire spent the rest of the day in her surgery, seeing a few patients for minor ailments and adding to her ever growing list of needed items she thought would be useful. What she wouldn’t give to have a nice thick reference book on medicinal plants and tinctures.

 

Jamie leaned against the surgery doorway and watched her bustling around the room, poking and prodding into the various cabinets, her curls pulled back into a messy bun. A few loose curls escaping to bounce around her contemplative face. He thought she looked perfectly adorable with her brow furrowed while deep in her thoughts. Claire took out a bottle, peering at it closely, then dumped the contents into her hand. She jumped and muttered, “Jesus H Roosevelt Christ.”

 

Jamie laughed and Claire looked up, finally noticing him. “It’s not funny, what kind of Doctor would keep a bottle of old dried up wood lice?”

 

“Apparently one that’s not around anymore.” Jamie replied as he walked over and pulled her into his arms.

 

“Ye have a bit of dirt here Sassenach.” Jamie ran his fingers tenderly over her cheek, down to her chin, tilted her face up to his and brought their lips together. Pulling back a bit, he looked into her whisky eyes, then pressed his lips to hers again and deepened the kiss. Tongues tasted and explored as their arms pulled each other closer. Jamie was lost in her sweet mouth, a soft growling noise rumbled deep in his throat as he pulled her tighter against his chest.

 

They were both swept away in sensation when Claire heard footsteps in the hallway. Breaking away from Jamie’s warmth, she looked but couldn’t see anyone. Confused, Jamie and Claire entered their chambers and found a stack of gowns laying across the bed.

 

“Molly must have dropped off these altered gowns while we were kissing. I’m thinking she thought I would want to wear something new for dinner and the music tonight.” Claire explained. She went on to fill Jamie in on doctoring Colum and his invitation to stay after dinner for the music.

 

“He found it amusing that we weren’t at dinner last night. What’s the big deal if we missed a meal?”

Claire asked.

 

“Well, Alec brought up our absence also. Seems we are still the newest gossip at Leoch. Come here wife, let’s give them something more to talk about.” Soon they were lost in a passionate embrace again. It was Claire’s stomach rumbling loudly that interrupted them this time.

 

“Need something to eat Sassenach? What did ye have for lunch?”

 

“Actually, I forgot to eat lunch today. I tend to do that from time to time when left on my own,” Claire shrugged.

 

“Not good for your health and you being a healer, thinking I’m going to have to stick close to your side and make sure ye keep your strength up. Just in case you need it for doctoring and maybe other activities.” Jamie tried winking at Claire and they both chuckled. “Let’s get dressed, before I collapse from your other activities…..and hunger.”

 

Soon they were washed and dressed, trodding down the halls of Leoch. The journey took a bit longer than it should have due to constant stops as Jamie pulled Claire into dark corners for a kiss or a bite on her neck. “Ye look bonny in this green dress Claire. I could nibble on ye all night, damn the food.”

 

“As much as I enjoy your nibbling, I really am quite hungry Jamie.”

 

“Aye, so am I Sassenach, but not for food,” muttering Jamie pulled her in the direction of the great hall.

 

Dinner was a pleasant affair which started with suggestive comments from the guys on why they were absent the night before. Clearly Jamie was prepared. “My poor wife here”, Jamie pulled Claire closer to his side, “ate a green apple yesterday afternoon. Had wind so bad, I couldn’t bring her out in public. Almost had to leave our chambers myself due to the stench.” A sharp elbow to Jamie’s ribs was followed by gales of laughter from all.

 

After the meal concluded, servants cleared the tables quickly and the men moved the tables to the sides of the great hall, situating the benches toward a stage set in front of the fire. Before taking his seat, the musician, a smaller Scot with blond hair and twinkling green eyes attired in a kilt, shirt and black boots, arranged his instruments, a harp, whistle and a bodhran, to his liking.

 

Jamie led Claire to the back of the room toward a bench set against a wall in a dark corner. Claire lifted one eyebrow questionably, Jamie smiled and pulled her down next to him, put an arm around her waist and pulled her close, snuggly against his side.

 

Though she couldn’t see the musician, she could hear the sweet notes of the Scot’s singing and soon lost herself in the music and Jamie’s warm touches. His hand slowly roamed from her waist to just graze over the outside of her breast and back down to knead her hip, leaving Claire feeling slightly warm.

 

Jamie loved the green dress because Claire’s bosom practically spilled over the top. He had insisted that she wear a shawl, which was now draped over her shoulders and chest, covering her cleavage. Jamie pulled her even closer so that his large hand could fondle her breast under the concealment of the shawl. Running over her exposed skin and pinching her nipple through the material. Claire was feeling warmer with each caress.

 

Claire snuck her arm around behind Jamie, untucked his shirt and started gliding her hand up and down the warm skin of his back, sneaking little touches down into the back of his breeks. Fingernails running lightly over any bare skin she could reach, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

 

It wasn’t long before they were both squirming and breathing rapidly, Claire’s head resting on Jamie’s shoulder while he placed kisses on the top of her curls. His mouth traveled to her ear, nibbling and licking delicately as he whispered, “How much do ye want to listen to the music mo nighean donn? There’s a doorway close, we could sneak off to our chambers.”

 

“Now that you mention it, I’m quite exhausted and need my bed. Let’s go Jamie.”

 

He smiled and they quickly exited the hall making it to their chambers in record time.

 

“Tonight, I’m keeping my sark on Sassenach, I need to see and touch ye, all of ye.” Jamie’s eyes burned as he removed most of his clothing.

 

Jamie’s hands shook as he helped Claire remove the last layers of her clothing until she stood in just her shift before the fire. He pushed the shift from her shoulders until it pooled at her feet, she kicked it away. Jamie stepped back and took in the sight of Claire before him, glowing in the firelight, skin shining like pearl.

 

“Ye are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen mo nighean donn.” His hands whispered reverently over her shoulders, breasts, ribs, and hips, then down over the slope of her buttocks, cupping them and pulling her against him. His mouth devoured hers in a possessive kiss unlike any they had shared before, wanting to consume each other. Jamie’s hands trailed over and under her thighs, lifting her. Claire wrapped her legs around him as he carried her to their bed, setting her gently on the edge. Kneeling on the floor between her legs, his hands cupped her breasts, thumbs running over her nipples, he looked up into her eyes.

 

“Tell me how to please ye Claire.” Guiding his head, she pressed it to her breast. Jamie quickly suckled the nipple drawing it deeply into his mouth, then lapped at it with his tongue, while gently pinching the other one with his fingers. Claire moaned, “Yes Jamie.”

 

He worshipped her breasts with his mouth and hands, moving from one to the other until Claire needed more. Taking one of his hand she brought it down to her upper thigh and guided it close to the triangle between her legs. “Touch me here Jamie” She gasped.

 

Jamie looked down, watching as his hand ran through her soft curls, dipping further to find her wet and slick, learning the feel of her with his fingers parting and dipping into her warmth. “A Dhia, you’re so wet, feels so good, your scent is heavenly,” he groaned out, Inhaling deeply.

 

Claire shifted and slid back on the bed, pulling Jamie with her. She resumed kissing him, pausing to utter, “Don’t stop Jamie.”

 

Jamie’s fingers explored further, entering and moving deeper into her hot core until she was riding his hand. Reaching down she guided his thumb to her clitoris, “This little bud here is a clitoris, it aids in pleasure when you stoke it and apply pressure.” Claire panted out the words.

 

Jamie was lost in the sensation of learning and listening to the sounds Claire was making in response to his touches. He startled, feeling her hand inch up under his shirt, taking his hard cock in her hand and start stroking and pumping. Soon their hips were rising and falling to the same rhythm, seeking friction while their mouths locked together living on each other’s breaths. Claire broke from the kiss with a loud moan, her thighs clamping vicelike around Jamie’s hand as he felt her sheath contract and flutter around his fingers. Claire’s hand had stopped moving but was still wrapped around him, Jamie pumped a few more times, reaching his own release, Jamie buried his face in her neck, groaning loudly. Bodies shaking, they lay sweaty and tangled, their breathing slowly returning to normal.

 

Sated, they went boneless, hands still holding their most intimate parts, both hesitant to break the connection. After a timely pause, Jamie positioned his head so he could look at Claire, “did ye……was that good? I’m not sure what I’m asking. I dinna know woman could…….”

 

“Jamie, yes, a woman can orgasm just as a man can. Though, as you learned, it’s a bit different and harder to achieve for some. Most men don’t care or take enough time to learn about a woman’s body. It’s still not discussed much in my time either, but I know more than most due to my nurses training.”

 

“I like to give ye pleasure Sassenach. I’m sure ye already figured that by my responses to your squirming and wee noises. Though that noise at the end wasn’t really wee, I’m thinking the whole castle heard ye cry out. Now lie there, I’ll see to getting us cleaned up.”

 

After washing with a warm cloth Jamie brought back to their bed, and vowing to each other it was safe to sleep naked for the night, Claire and Jamie nestled together.

 

“Sassenach, I canna keep my hands from ye. When you’re near, I ache for your touch and when I touch ye, I just want more. I’m afraid after tonight the wanting is just going to compound. Feeling your body lying warm in my arms, it’s a blessing I thought would never happen to me. I…..ye are precious to me Claire.” Jamie kissed her forehead and tucked her snuggly against him, so she couldn’t see the shine in his eyes.

 

“I feel the same Jamie. When I’m alone, my mind wanders and I think about the circumstances that brought me here, if I hadn’t found you………I just can’t even imagine what would have happened to me. You are precious to me also. Thank you for finding me and saving me Jamie.”

 

“I’ll always save ye, mo nighean donn, I promise.”

 

Safe, sated and warm in each other’s arms, they slept the deep sleep of contented lovers.

 


	17. An Uncertain Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has explicit sexual content and is NSFW.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back readers. After traveling to Scotland for my second MPC event, then getting sick after arriving back home and working most every single day, I finally found time to write. Thank you for your comments on the last chapter that I didn't find time to reply to, just know that you are all appreciated. Hope you enjoy this chapter, we are reaching a turning point where decisions must be reached. Cheers!
> 
> PS-remember I have no beta, so please excuse any errors that I have missed.

Chapter 17 – An Uncertain Future

 

The lovers, still entwined, woke to bird calls and sun streaming in through their chamber windows.

 

Hands stroking up and down Claire’s back, Jamie asked, “How’d ye sleep Sassenach? I dinna think I moved all night.”

 

Claire kissed Jamie, then nuzzled into his neck inhaling his sleepy musk, “Same here. I sleep so well lying next to you, I really don’t understand it, but I relish it. It looks like a gorgeous day, do you think you could get away from the stables and take me into Cranesmuir today?”

 

“Let me see what Alec has in store for me, I’ll send ye a note.” Jamie kissed Claire again as they both got up to begin their day.

 

Claire was eating in the kitchen, chatting with Molly and Mrs. Fitz when two notes arrived, one to her and one to Mrs. Fitz.

 

“Oh wonderful, Jamie says we can leave in a couple of hours to head into Cranesmuir to restock my medical supplies. Did he send you a note also Mrs. Fitz?”

 

“He sure did. Jamie asks most politely if I can pack a picnic hamper for lunch to send along with ye, and of course I can. He’s a good man Claire and he’s smitten with ye, I’ve seen the way his eyes follow ye. The handfasting might have not been ideal, but it’s a good match for ye both.”

 

Claire nodded, color rising in her face. She was at a loss as how to respond, but finally thanked Mrs. Fitz and headed toward her chambers to fetch her list and other needed items for the journey.

 

Claire sat in her surgery, going over her list one final time, but she was confused and unsure as her thoughts traveled to Jamie. It had only been a matter of days spent in his company, but her feelings were becoming clearer and deeper. Was this love? There was certainly a growing attraction, but she had thought she loved Frank and planned to spend the rest of her life with him. Was there such a thing as true love? Did forever for a couple even exist or was happily ever after just a fairy tale? Would she give up her own time and all of the conveniences that went with it to stay with him in this brutal time, knowing a bit about what was going to happen in Scotland? She was a survivor of a bloody war, she didn’t want to go through that experience again. She rung her hands, not wanting to burst the little bubble of happiness they were presently living in, but they had made a vow of honesty and Claire realized that the time had come for her to tell Jamie everything she could recall. Today would be a perfect opportunity as they traveled alone.

 

Jamie could tell something was on Claire’s mind as they strapped their belongings to the back of his horse, she’d barely said a word and there was a look of concern on her face.

 

“Are ye feeling well Sassenach?” Jamie asked, lifting her up onto Biscuit, warm hands resting a minute on her narrow waist as he looked up into her face.

 

“I’m fine Jamie, just some thoughts I need to share with you. Let’s get a distance from Leoch and then I’ll explain.” Jamie’s brow furrowed, he nodded and soon they were on their way.

 

After a good distance, Claire remained quiet, so Jamie broke the silence, “Tis a fine day for a ride. My mother used to keep a list of the migrating birds she would see during the month of May. She knows all of their calls and colors. It gave her great pleasure to sit in her garden when she had a few precious moments to herself. From Jenny’s last letter, it sounds like mam is still mostly bedridden. I’d leave now if Colum would permit me.” Jamie’s voice held a bit of worry as he trailed off.

 

“Jamie, are you unhappy at Leoch?”

 

“To tell ye the truth, I’ve been miserable, but I’m an honorable man and will pay the debt I owe Colum. I’ve begged him to let me go home to Lollybroch, even for a wee visit, but…………well, ye know about his schemes and plans for me. I’ve had to be clever to avoid entrapment by sneaking, hiding and leaving the castle as often as I could. It’s why I was with Dougal and his party when I ended up in Fort William. Not that I had it planned, but I’d rather face imprisonment than marriage to Laoghaire.” Jamie paused for a minute before continuing, “I was no in a good place when we found each other at that fort. You’ve been a balm to my troubled soul Claire, and I thank ye. I don’t know if it was destiny or fate that we were both at the fairy hill on the same day, but I’m grateful to God that we were.”

 

Claire let Jamie’s words sink in. She hadn’t seen the miserable side of him over their brief time together. Was he much happier because she had saved him from a troubling future and his feelings were merely gratitude, or was it something much deeper? She had let herself become swept away in their little bubble of comfort and bliss, but they really didn’t know each other very well. It was time to share what she knew.

 

“Jamie, I have something profound and life changing to share. It’s one of the major reasons why I am still considering travel back to my time again. It is tragic news about Scotland, so be prepared.” She paused and looked questionably at Jamie’s concerned face. “Do you want me to continue?”

 

“Aye, we made a vow of honesty and I trust ye that what ye tell me is truth, go on.”

 

“I’ve told you that Frank was an historian, he focused on the Jacobite rebellion. Actually he was obsessed with it and his ancestor Jonathon Wolverton Randall. I absorbed many of the details, but unfortunately, I didn’t pay as much attention as I wish now in our present circumstances. There is going to be an uprising of the Jacobite’s in about three years……………………”

 

Claire told Jamie about the battle of Culloden that would occur on April 16, 1746, and the devastation of the Scottish army in just a matter of minutes. She told about the destruction, the clearances of the clans and laws against the Scots. She told about the famine and starvation and the great migration to other parts of the world. She told about how Scotland would never crown another king. When she had finished, Jamie was white faced and shaking, a glazed look in his eyes.

 

Looking around, Claire pulled her horse to a halt, “Jamie, let’s stop here by this stream and rest for just a bit. I know you have questions and I’ll try to answer the best I can.”

 

Jamie busied himself with watering and tethering the horses, relieved to have something to occupy his hands, while thoughts were running rampant through his head. Tasks finally completed, Claire and Jamie sat together on a blanket under the low hanging branches of a willow tree, the sound of the rushing stream in the background. The picnic lunch sat untouched between them and the beauty of nature unnoticed.

 

Finally Jamie inquired, “Claire, do ye remember anything about individual clans or families? Anything ye can recall about the name Fraser, Murray or MacKenzie?”

 

“Frank delved into more of the English side of things, little mention of the Scottish history, except for a few battles and the aftermath, I’m sorry. I do remember the name of Simon Fraser, Lord Lovat. Is he a relative to you?”

 

“Aye, a miserable old bastard. He’s actually my grandfather, though he disowned my father when he married my mother. It’s rather a sore subject and we do not speak of it in our home. What was his fate Claire?”

 

“Frank said he played both sides, but was eventually beheaded for supporting the Scots against the English. I’m so sorry Jamie. That’s all I know about your family.”

 

Jamie sat there for a while, before continuing, “My father said he was a canty ole man, sounds like his luck finally caught up with him. Ye are sure about your facts? Dates?”

 

“Yes, though I know there were skirmishes and battles leading up to Culloden with a few Scots victories. But in the end, Culloden was the battle that changed the fate of Scotland, especially in the highlands. I wish I knew more Jamie, I really do.” Claire sat with her hands clasped tightly together.

 

“Sassenach, I’m not able to eat at the moment. If ye aren’t going to eat either, can we mount up again and be on our way?” Feeling restless once more, Jamie hopped up and started packing their untouched food. Claire nodded in agreement and bent to help with the task.

 

In a matter of a few minutes, they were continuing on their journey. No further words were spoken as Jamie spent the remainder of the ride silently contemplating what Claire had told him. Just like their somber moods, the sun was soon covered in dark clouds and rain was pouring down upon their heads as they rode into Cranesmuir.

 

Jamie knocked on the solid wood door of a white stone, three story building in the center of town. Soon they were ushered into the parlor, damp cloaks hanging to dry as they sipped warm tea in front of a roaring fire.

 

Geillis Duncan, the fiscal’s widow, was blond, green eyed, pretty and slight of stature. She fawned over Jamie and Claire, commanding servants to see to their every need. Finally small delicious sandwiches were offered on dainty flowered china. Jamie’s stomach growled, he looked to Claire, shrugged his shoulders, deciding to partake of the fare.

 

Geillis, a true gossip, wanted to know every bit of news happening within the walls of Leoch, but Claire soon found out that she had little to share and that Geillis knew every little detail about castle life, including the circumstances that had befallen Jamie and herself.

 

Claire quite liked the lady, though there was something in her manner that warned her not to be too trusting. After their repast was finished, the ladies proceeded to an upper level to get the items on Claire’s list. Jamie had excused himself to see to a few errands of his own, telling Claire he would return soon, kissing her cheek as he headed out.

 

Working companionably together, Geillis asked Claire, “So is it true then? The size of a man’s thumbs predict the size of his….well you know. I’ve noticed your Jamie has rather large thumbs.”

 

Claire stammered, “What? I can’t believe you just asked me that. You are a bold lady Geillis.”

 

“You seemed pretty forthright during our previous conversation about medicines. I didn’t think you’d be scandalized and you are not, so don’t pretend to be.”

 

“I’m not scandalized, but I won’t be answering your questions. It’s truly none of your business.”

 

“Well, the word is that you and Jamie are getting along famously, even missing a dinner to stay in your chambers.” Geillis raised her eyebrows expectantly.

 

When Claire remained silent, Geillis let out a huff, “Fine, you’re no fun, but I think we can still become friends.”

 

Claire let out a small chuckle, “As long as you don’t plan on interrogating me further about my personal life, yes. I think we have everything on the list. Colum said to send the bill to the castle, but I’m sure you know the routine.” Claire gathered her supplies and headed down the stairs.

 

Jamie was standing facing the roaring fire, water dripping from his clothing. Claire noticed his solid strong form, but with a hunch to his shoulders that hadn’t been present before her confession.

 

Geillis observed Claire run her hand along Jamie’s back as she asked, “Did you finish your errands, Jamie?”

 

Jamie turned to face Claire, caressing her arm, “Aye, but I think we need to stay at an Inn for the night. It’s almost black as pitch out there and the storm is worsening.” A huge rumble of thunder sounded at that exact moment. “Let’s get your packages and be on our way.”

 

Thanking Geillis and refusing her offer of accommodations, they hurried out into the torrent. Luckily there were lodgings just around the corner and they were soon ensconced in their cozy room on the second floor, a warm fire burning brightly as they sipped whisky. They had stripped down to shift and shirt, were wrapped in shawls and blankets, their wet clothing draped over every piece of furniture to hopefully dry by morning.

 

Claire had taken out their picnic lunch, they nibbled on roast chicken, bannocks and cheese in silence.

 

“Jamie, please tell me what you are thinking?” Claire asked softly.

 

“Well, Sassenach, it’s a lot to take in. My first thought is to fix it, to stop the uprising somehow. But I’m just one man and I’ve seen the fire in Dougal grow since I’ve been present at Leoch. I can’t blame him for despising the English, their treatment of the Scots has become almost unbearable. Look at what happened to me with the floggings and now to yourself, imprisonment from being on a hill minding your own business. But as ye say, it all ends in defeat. I know the English army far out ranks the Scots in weaponry and numbers. I’m at a loss as to what to do.”

 

Pausing Jamie took a shaky breath, “Then, I must admit I’m a wee bit selfish also. Ye have good reasons for wanting to return to your own time, especially with the violence and hardships that are a few years in the distance. But, Claire, I dinna want ye to go, but I canna ask you to stay.” Jamie looked at Claire, eyes shining with unshed tears.

 

Claire climbed onto Jamie’s lap and pulled his head to nestle in her neck. She stroked her hands through his damp curls and caressed his back as a small sob of despair left his throat. Holding each other tightly, they took comfort in the warmth and shelter of their bodies as their minds grappled with an uncertain and frightful future.

 

Time seemed to stop while wrapped in each other’s arms, but the closeness brought new sensations and Jamie was soon kissing Claire’s neck and his hands roamed to the front of her shift, lightly tracing over her breasts and belly.

 

Blue eyes searched golden brown as Jamie asked, “Sassenach, is it wrong that I want ye right now?”

 

“No, it’s not wrong. But let me comfort you Jamie, give you respite from the pain you are feeling. May I?”

 

At Jamie’s nod, Claire’s mouth softly captured Jamie’s lips in a delicate and searching kiss that moved swiftly to a fiery melding of lips, tongues and mouths.

 

Jamie lifted Claire in his arms and gently laid her down on the thick carpet in front of the fire, he quickly covered her body with his own as their mouths devoured each other. Claire opened her legs and felt Jamie’s hard erection through the layers of his shirt and her shift. They rocked their hips together, needing friction and release.

 

“Claire, I need to touch ye.” Jamie whispered as his hand inched under the hem of her shift moving it upwards. Claire reached down and halted his hand.

 

“Not now, I want to comfort you this time.” Claire pressed on Jamie’s shoulders until he was lying beside her, a questioning look on his face.

 

“You have too many clothes on Jamie.” Claire pulled the shirt up and over Jamie’s head with his help, then pushed him back down. “Just lie still.”

 

Claire bent and kissed Jamie passionately, tasting Jamie and whisky, mouth moving from his lips to bite along his neck and lick the shell of his ear. She felt Jamie shiver and goose bumps rose as her hands stroked his chest, fingers running lightly through the red gold dusting of chest hair, then down over the flat planes of his torso, before taking him in her wandering hand. He was steel encased in soft velvet as her fingers explored the length and texture of him, spreading his wetness up and down his erection. Her hand came down to cup and fondle his testicles, feeling his warmth and learning the needs of his body.

 

A low moan and a bucking of Jamie’s hips signaled his response to her sweet explorations.

 

“Claire, feels so good.” Jamie stammered.

 

Claire’s lips moved slowly down Jamie’s body, nipping and kissing his chest, nipples, stomach before finally taking him into her mouth. Jamie’s body arched and he grunted, “A Dhia.” She licked, tasted and sucked, her hand rolling and caressing his testicles, her breathe coming in little pants as she inhaled Jamie’s warm musky scent.

 

Jamie’s hands were tightly gripped in Claire’s hair, his hip movements becoming jerky and erratic. He couldn’t process what her warm mouth was doing to him, his body was going to burst apart as the heat and need kept building. Trying to pull her away seconds before he exploded, he stammered. “Claire, I’m gonna, I canna……….” She refused to be budged as he climaxed with a loud moan into the warm haven of her mouth.

 

Her head lying on Jamie’s muscled thigh, Claire smiled as his fingers ran lightly through her curls. She heard him mutter something in Gaelic. She moved up his body, looking down into his spent and relaxed face.

 

“What did you just say?”  


“I thought my heart was gonna burst. A Dhia, Claire, I’ve never felt the like in my life.”

 

Claire pressed herself along Jamie’s side, snuggling into his warmth, his arm pulling her even closer. “My pleasure.”

 

After a thoughtful pause, Jamie asked, “Is this something that’s done between married couples? I’ve heard tales about strumpets, but just never imagined……..”

 

“Jamie, there is nothing wrong or sinful when couples give and receive pleasure from each other. It needs to be agreed upon and appreciated by both man and woman.”

 

Holding Claire even tighter and kissing her forehead, Jamie chuckled, “Sassenach, that was greatly appreciated, I have no words. Can I……could I do that to ye? Is it something that can be done for a woman?’”

 

“I actually don’t know, but I believe so. This was a first for me also.”

 

“Ah, finally something ye don’t know. But if that was a first for ye, please practice on me anytime ye get the urge to improve your technique, Sassenach.” He laughed as she swatted him on the stomach. “I promise I’ll repay the favor………..as soon as I’m able to move again.”

 

After a few more minutes of cuddling, Claire broke the silence, “Jamie, I’m getting chilly, I need my bed. If you can’t move, I’ll just drape a blanket over you.” She darted away as Jamie grabbed for her ankle.

 

Fire banked and snuggled into each other’s arms in bed, Claire spoke “Let’s hold each other tonight and forget all else, we have time yet to make decisions.”

 

“Aye mo nighean donn, I’m blessed to have ye.” Jamie replied, kissing her cheek. He thought to himself sadly, even if it’s just for a brief moment in time.


	18. Big Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has explicit sexual content and is NSFW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RE: Frequency of posting. I will not be able to post weekly as I had hoped. Work and life have become very hectic. It will be another three weeks before the next chapter as we are leaving for a trip with friends. Thank you for your patience.
> 
> Again, appreciate you letting me know of any glaring errors that affect the story, I am happy to change them. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this new chapter (I think you will) and thank you for your kudos, comments and for reading Promises. Cheers!

Chapter 18 – Big Decisions

 

Claire could not stop her wandering mind. She tried counting sheep, breathing exercises and even relaxing her body, starting with her toes and working up to the top of her head. It was no use, she couldn’t sleep. It came to mind that she was used to hearing and feeling the soft puff of air when Jamie exhaled in his sleep, but now as they spooned, she realized this was missing.

 

“Sassenach, you’re fidgeting so much, ye are keeping me awake. Either ye need to use the chamber pot or ye can’t quiet yer thoughts. Care to tell me which it is?” Jamie whispered into her ear.

 

“I’m sorry Jamie, my mind is trying to find a solution to our problems and I keep running into worse case scenarios for both of us. I think you are having trouble sleeping also. Aren’t you?” She asked as she turned over to face him, seeing the lines of worry between his eyes.  


“Aye, I’m thinking as ye are Sassenach. I feel there are no good choices that don’t end up with us at the best separated, involved in a hopeless war or both. How much do ye know of the goings on in the American Colonies at this time?”

 

“I was tutored a bit about the Colonies, but again, I didn’t really pay close attention. I do know a bit about the history coming up around the 1760’s and important changes that occur around that time. But that is about 20 years from now. Why do you ask?”

 

“I’m thinking of different places to be other than Scotland, when this uprising and war take place in about three years. I have family, an Uncle Jared Fraser in France and an aunt and her husband in the Province of North Carolina. I really don’t care for France and would rather not return if I have a say, but North Carolina might be an option with Aunt Jocasta and Uncle Hector. She’s my mam’s youngest sister, Hector is about 20 years her senior and her third husband. They moved from Scotland soon after the 1719 Jacobite uprising. Hector was a Jacobite himself, they moved soon after their defeat to escape persecution from the English. According to the letters they send my mam, they are doing verra well on a plantation named River Run. I’m not only thinking about us, Sassenach, but the rest of my family also. Although I don’t know how I will ever convince them to leave Scotland unless we tell them everything about what’s to occur.”

 

“But I won’t be able to sail away to different shores without them. I don’t want to apply pressure to yer thoughts, but it basically depends on what ye choose to do, Sassenach. If ye try and can go through the stones in the autumn, then I will do what my family deems fit, it is their decision. If I can escape the battles, I’ll stay at Lallybroch and work on planting and fortifying for our future and the lean years ahead, but if I’m pressed to defend our people, I will go to war with the other Scots. Like ye said, not many options with a positive outcome. I’m sorry Sassenach.”

 

Claire paused, finally answering, “If you are considering moving to the colonies, you might still have to face a war. A war of independence called the Revolutionary war fought between the colonists and England. It begins around 1765, and a declaration of Independence is written in 1776. The revolution is finally over in 1783. From then on the United States of America is completely its own country and eventually expands from coast to coast on a scale that is very hard to imagine. But you would find yourself in a different country and a different war, so this is something to consider.”

 

After thinking for a few minutes, Jamie replied, “Aye, it boggles the mind to think ahead twenty years and know what will take place, but a three year period leading to a war is more of a worry at the present.”

 

“Jamie, If I stay in this time with you, you also need to ponder the possibility of me not being able to have children, are you sure you could accept this? I know how important family is to you and I understand if you chose to pledge yourself to another. There are some beautiful Scottish lasses here at the castle, I don’t think they are poor in personality like Laoghaire.” Claire looked away from Jamie’s eyes, feeling a tightness in her chest as she waited for Jamie to reply.

 

Jamie tilted her face up to meet his deep blue gaze, “Mo nighean donn, I’ve never felt for a lass the way that I feel towards ye and I wouldna be happy with any of them. There are many children that need homes and I’m expecting Jenny and Ian to fill Lallybroch with bairns, so I’ll have plenty of nieces and nephews to dote on. Also, I know what my mother has gone through with the last birth and I don’t know if I have the strength to see ye suffer so.” He pressed his forehead into Claire’s as his fingers gently caressed over her jawline and up and down her neck.

 

“Jamie, I’m scared, I don’t know what to do. Hold me please.”

 

Jamie pulled Claire tight against his body, hands stroking and soothing, “Shhh, it will be fine Sassenach, I’ve got ye. Get some sleep, we have time to decide.” He felt her body slowly relax as she drifted into slumber. Jamie eventually followed suit.

 

 

 

 

Claire felt Jamie gently shaking her awake, “Sassenach, we’ve slept longer than I meant us to, we need to get up and moving.”

 

Groaning she slapped at his hands, which earned her a sharp pinch on her rump. “You’ll pay for that Fraser.” She scowled at him.

 

“Aye, my punishment will be justly deserved but, if ye don’t get out of bed, I’m thinking a few more pinches are in order.”

 

“Fine, you beast.”

 

Smiling and doing his impression of a wink, “Good, I’m off to get the horses ready, I’ll meet ye downstairs soon.” He left the room, bearing the burden of their many packages.

 

Claire smiled at his retreating back, and still grumbling, started her day.

 

Soon they were riding side by side, each deep in their own thoughts on a beautiful sunny day. The storms had moved on during the night, leaving behind a sparkling spring morning. Claire listened to the birdsong and smelled the fresh damp air. Sunlight filtered through the green canopy, making changing patterns on the ground as the breeze shifted the leaves. It was so beautiful here with none of the city noises and miles of road and concrete that clouded the senses in her present time. She realized how quickly she had adapted to this century, and even though she did miss modern plumbing, it dawned on her that most of the modern day conveniences weren’t that vital. She was happy……. when and how did this occur? She looked at Jamie riding beside her, tall, handsome and strong in the saddle. He filled her senses to the point that she felt like she belonged here by his side. Her thoughts were on him day and night, making her realize how closely they had melded together, taking most of the uncertainty out of her mind and heart. Was she silly to trust him explicitly? Claire was shocked to find that the answer was no. Could Jamie be her whole world here? Should she stay with him? These were dangerous times, but so was her time. She and Frank had made it through their war without bodily injury, although circumstance had changed their lives together. She was happy and content with Jamie, happier than she had ever been with Frank. Jamie had accepted her as her true and genuine self, something Frank had never done. Jamie supported her decision to be a healer and helped her in anything she desired. And speaking of desire, she wanted Jamie with a passion she had never felt before.

 

Claire’s eyes roamed over Jamie’s ruddy locks and strong features. Her skin longed for his touch when they were separated and her mouth needed his kisses. She didn’t think she would ever tire of him. They were legally bound in this time and if she did stay, they could make love, consummating their handfasting.

 

“Sassenach, ye are staring at me with a very furrowed brow, I’m afraid your beautiful forehead is going to stay that way if a cold breeze blows across us. Something ye want to share?” Jamie asked with a smirk on his lips.

 

Claire shook her head to clear her thoughts, “Sorry, making decisions that will change the course of our lives, nothing for you to be concerned about.”

 

A deep laugh rumbled out of Jamie, “Oh, well sorry to bother ye then. Let me know if I can help ye in any way. Yer face looks like it could use a few dozen kisses, though I’d hate to waste travel time on physical dalliances. But, if that would help sway yer thoughts in my direction, I’ll make the sacrifice.” He suggested with a smile.

 

“Hold that thought, let’s get a bit further down the road and stop for lunch. Still have a bit more thinking to do. But I thank you in your offer of support and noble sacrifice.” Claire giggled in answer.

 

Jamie felt a sense of elation well up in his body. Though Claire’s brow had been furrowed in thought, her face had lightened immensely at his teasing and she had replied in kind, most of the angst from last night’s conversation seemed to have evaporated. Let’s not put the cart before the horse though, wait and see what she has to say, but he couldn’t help a stupid grin from appearing on his lips.

 

Eventually Jamie saw the large willow tree by the stream that they had stopped at yesterday. He could hardly help remembering what had occurred underneath this tree and his ears turned pink. Maybe it was a lucky tree, he thought. “Sassenach, let’s rest here and have a bite to eat before the final leg of our journey.” Claire nodded and guided the horse to follow his off of the path. Horses settled and blankets spread on the soft green grass, Jamie and Claire unpacked their lunch.

 

“Care to share yer thoughts now, Sassenach?” Jamie asked with a tone of hope in his voice.

 

Claire sat and turned to look into Jamie’s face to gauge his reaction. “Jamie, do you want me to stay here with you, in your time? Before you answer, think seriously. I know we are handfast, but this would be the final step in our binding and there would be no going back for us. Can you deal with a headstrong wife? My need to be a healer? Maybe being barren? Being English? Would we have a true partnership where we can discuss and make decisions together? Can you accept me for the true person I am? I don’t want to be hurt again and I’ll not be less for another man, ever. I’m frightened that you’ll change once we are truly bound together and I’m also a bit frightened of these dangerous times.”

 

“Claire, I love yer strong mind and that ye have a calling to be a healer. I fully accept that we might not have bairns made of our union, if the Lord deems it thus. I enjoy yer Englishness, it makes ye unique in my eyes. Yes, we will discuss issues, but if I accept ye, I ask that ye accept me also. We haven’t really had any disagreements yet, but I must warn ye, I’m verra stubborn and can be hot headed when I feel strongly on an issue. I must be myself also, but I pledge I’ll no change my feelings toward ye. Please don’t be frightened, I promise to always see ye safe. Know that ye have my name and my family, my clan, and if necessary, the protection of my body as well.”

 

Jamie clasped Claire’s hands, staring intently into deep pools of amber, “Are you sure ye want me? I dinna have much except my good name, but I vow, I’ll no see ye go hungry or leave ye without shelter. I’ll give ye everything I can within my power, Claire.”

 

Nodding and returning Jamie’s intense gaze, Claire replied, “Yes Jamie, I take you as you are, body and soul. If you’ll do the same.”

 

“Claire, I take ye as ye are, body and soul, forever.”

 

Jamie, leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to Claire’s. Claire’s hands were soon gripped hard in Jamie’s scalp as the kiss deepened, tongues exploring and tasting, breathes mingling together.

 

Pulling back slightly, Jamie whispered with pleading eyes, “Claire, I need ye, will ye have me?”

 

Looking around, seeing that they were well hidden beneath the draping branches of the willow tree, Claire uttered a breathless “Yes, I’ll have you Jamie.”

 

Hands reached, pulling each other hastily to their feet, fingers flew over clothing until they were both naked, standing in dappled sunlight, drinking in the sight of each other, longing and desire in their eyes.

 

“Ye are so beautiful, my own.” Jamie whispered as he pulled Claire into his arms.

 

Jamie’s tongue explored the honey depths of Claire’s mouth as his hands roamed from her back down to cup and lift her buttocks, pulling her closer to his throbbing erection. His arms were trembling as he lifted her, knelt and placed her gently on the tartan blanket, never breaking their kiss as he followed her down and lay along her side. His hands fondled and cupped her breasts, pinching and then tracing over her nipples, drawing moans and gasps from Claire’s throat. Jamie’s warm hands caressed the small rise of her stomach and down into the thatch of curls at the juncture of her thighs, petting and circling lower until his fingers dipped into her warm wet center. Claire’s hips joined in the rhythm of Jamie’s slow deep stokes.

 

Claire was lost in sensation when Jamie’s wet mouth closed over her nipple and sucked greedily. Moans and pants rising from her lips, hands stroking over Jamie’s hard chest, moving down to stroke him, when Jamie stopped her exploration.

 

“Claire, dinna touch……. I need……can I….. can we join?” She nodded at the look of desperate pleading in Jamie’s eyes.

 

He reached for her hips to turn her over and she stopped his movements, guiding him until he was laying on top of her as she opened her legs to him, reaching down she guided his hard length between her legs, to the entrance of her warm center. “Like this, Jamie.”

 

His surprised stare soon turned to pleasure as he slowly pushed forward and became encased in Claire’s tight heat. A low groan came from deep in Jamie’s throat as he started slowing rocking his hips. Claire brought her legs up, wrapping them tightly around Jamie’s back, moving her own hips to meet his thrusts.

 

Claire couldn’t catch her breath, Jamie filled her completely, hitting the depths of her body she had never experienced before, and the friction was unraveling every nerve ending she had. She felt his soft chest hair rubbing against her breasts with every movement, her hands feeling the ripple of his back muscles as she gripped him tightly.

 

There was no space between them and Jamie couldn’t breathe, he didn’t care. His arms had a tight grip around Claire’s back, his face pressed into her neck as the world around him faded and was replaced by pure sensations. Sensations that were better than anything he ever imagined. He had to look at her, had to kiss her.

 

Claire felt him shift and opened her eyes to see Jamie’s face a second before his lips crashed into her own, open mouthed and desperate, he devoured her, tongue searching and teeth nipping. She matched his passion, moaning as the heat started churning deep in her core. She broke the kiss and threw her head back on the blanket as sensation reached a fever pitch and she felt herself tighten and orgasm around Jamie, legs shaking uncontrollably.

 

Jamie’s mouth found purchase on Claire’s neck, sucking greedily as he felt Claire flutter and spasm around him. He lost himself as pure feelings pushed him over the edge. Jamie came to completion, hips losing rhythm as he pumped shakily into Claire, moaning into her neck. Tightly entwined, they lay gasping, trying to calm their heaving chests.

 

Jamie raised his head, locking eyes with Claire. He stared in wonderment, gently pushing the sweat soaked hair off of her face. “A Dhia.” Finally dawning on him that he was likely crushing her, he rolled to his side, grasping her hand and kissing her fingers.

 

Finally able to speak, Claire asked, “Was it like you thought?”

 

“No, it was better than anything I could ever have imagined. Although……..never mind, you’ll laugh at me.”

 

“No I won’t, promise. Go ahead.”

 

“I always thought ye did it the back way, like horses ye ken?”

 

Claire turned red in the face, suppressing her giggles. “Well, we can do it that way. There are many ways to have intercourse Jamie. But I thought this was a more intimate way for our first time.”

 

“It was verra intimate, mo nighean donn. Did ye like it? Did ye……….seemed liked ye enjoyed it?” Jamie embarrassingly asked, cheeks turning even redder.

 

“Yes, it was different with you……felt…..not sure how to actually find the words.”

 

“Is it always like this between a man and a woman? Not just now, but every time I touch ye, when I kiss ye?” Jamie lay on his side, looking questionably at Claire.

 

“It’s often something like this, but no, this is different, special between us.” Claire leaned over and kissed him sweetly.

 

“Well, I’d like to try it again, just to make sure and see, mind. Maybe in a week, when I’m able to move again.” Jamie pulled her close, Claire giggling into his chest.


	19. Thankfulness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a long chapter, but this kept running through my head. Thank you readers for your kudos and comments. Cheers!

Chapter 19 – Thankfulness

 

Jamie wanted to stay under the willow tree wrapped in Claire’s arms forever. Feeling at peace and content, his body was relaxed in a way it hadn’t been in years. Every muscle seemed to be melting into Claire and the earth. His eyes were closing, the world around him becoming disconnected when his stomach gave a loud rumble, bringing him back to reality.

 

“Sassenach, as much as I am loath to part from yer desirable body, we need to eat and be on our way. Come on, I’ll help ye dress.”

 

Claire groaned, hearing Jamie’s words interrupting her own bubble of contentment. But, realizing she was hungry also, gathered their scattered garments.

 

Donned in their clothes, stomachs appeased, Claire observed Jamie moving their packages from his mount to Biscuit.

 

“Jamie, what are you doing, is your horse lame? Why do I get all of the baggage?”

 

Jamie turned to Claire, looking a bit embarrassed, “I’m sorry Sassenach, I should have asked. Would ye ride with me? I just want to feel ye in my arms and hold ye close.”

 

Overcome at Jamie’s request, Claire nodded, kissing Jamie gently on his mouth.

 

Jamie lifted Claire easily up onto the saddle, mounting behind her. Taking the reins in one hand, he pulled Claire close against his body with the other, his hand gently caressing her belly.

 

Jamie bent his head close to Claire’s neck, inhaling a scent of outdoors, perspiration and her own delicious odor, “Ye smell heavenly, Sassenach.”

 

Claire placed her hand over Jamie’s, pressing it closer into her body, “Hmmmm, I enjoy riding with you, it’s very nice.”

 

They rode a bit in companionable silence, until Jamie asked, “Sassenach, I have a question. What prompted yer decision to stay? We hadn’t really talked much about it lately, I’m curious.”

 

“My future has been weighing on my mind, but when I’m with you, I tend to forget I had a huge decision to make. I realized being alone on the road was the perfect time to tell you about Culloden. After I shared the burden that’s been weighing on my mind, it made me contemplative of my past, my war and my marriage to Frank. It suddenly dawned on me that I have been happy here, with you, and being a healer at Leoch. During the war years and the last months with Frank, I always had a sick feeling in my stomach due to stress and unhappiness. The war was bloody and awful, then after reconnecting with Frank, I could never make him happy, everything I did was wrong. But, I believe I make you happy.”

 

Jamie pulled Claire closer and kissed her neck, “Aye, ye make me verra happy Sassenach, never doubt it.”

 

Claire tilted her head back, giving Jamie a soft kiss on his sweet mouth. His hand moved up to just brush the undersides of her breasts. Claire broke the kiss, sighing and relaxed against Jamie as his warm hand continued to glide over her midriff then continued skimming the undersides of her breasts.

 

“Anyway, that sick feeling in my stomach is gone.” Jamie’s hand moved to pat her stomach gently. “I also realized I didn’t miss my time of loud abrasive noises and concrete. I love the peaceful sounds of bird calls and the calming colors of nature. Though, the indoor plumbing just about won the battle over staying here with you.” Claire chuckled.

 

“Concrete? Indoor plumbing? Can ye enlighten me please?”

 

The rest of their journey was filled with Claire’s descriptions of her time, including, transportation, concrete highways, plumbing, telephones, fashion and any subject that came to mind. Jamie listened intently, hand never ceasing to rub gently along Claire’s midriff. He asked questions about each subject until he grasped the basics, but was astounded over the fact of a huge airplane flying high over the earth. Claire promised to draw him a picture soon.

 

They arrived in the courtyard at Leoch, just as dusk was setting. Jamie lifted Claire down from the saddle, holding her close, “I hope I never give ye reasons to regret choosing to stay, Sassenach. I must admit, after the descriptions of indoor plumbing and hot water at the ready, I’m no sure ye made the right decision to stay in the past with a numpty like me.”

 

Claire leaned back, looking into his amused blue eyes, “October will be here before we know it, so just keep that in mind James Fraser, and behave. The hot baths might win yet.”

 

“No if I have anything to say about it, mo nighean donn.” Jamie laughed against her mouth before kissing her senseless.

 

The sound of a throat clearing broke them apart reluctantly, realizing it was no longer just the two of them. “Have a nice little ride, did ye?” Rupert asked suggestively, eyebrows waggling up and down.

 

All three of them broke out in laughter. Jamie replied, “Aye, the weather was perfect, as was the company.” He kissed Claire’s cheek and started working on removing their parcels from their mounts. “Go freshen up Sassenach, I’ll take care of the horses and bring all of this to yer surgery. Then I’ll meet ye in the kitchen for a bite to eat.”

 

None of them noticed Laoghaire, hidden amongst the trees, watching intently, a fierce scowl on her pouty face.

 

Jamie finished his tasks as quickly as he could, while deflecting Rupert’s bawdy inquiries. Finally leaving him at the castle entrance to resume his sentinel duties for the night, Jamie hastily dropped off the packages in the surgery and made his way to the kitchen. Finding it entirely empty, he grabbed some bannocks, cheese and apples. Arriving at their chambers, he put his ear to the door, hearing no sounds, he quietly entered the chamber to find a sleeping Claire, donned in a clean shift laying atop their bed. She must have fell asleep waiting for him. Jamie thought she looked angelic, her dark curls spilling over the white pillows, hands balled together under her small pointed chin.

 

Jamie sat in front of the fire, munching his snack, his gaze never leaving her form. A Dhia, she was perfect. A deep feeling of overwhelming gratitude and humbleness overcame him. He knelt quickly, crossed himself, bowing his head. “Heavenly Father, I thank ye for yer blessings in my life and ask for yer forgiveness. I have often questioned yer plans for me and I am sorry for ever doubting yer wisdom. I dinna understand why I was flogged, I dinna understand why I had to be separated from my family an forced to stay here at Leoch, I dinna understand why ye put Laoghaire in my path and I dinna understand how I ended up back at Fort William. Now I understand. It was all part of my life’s journey to meet Claire, my other half. I ken it’s new, but she brings me peace and happiness that I have never experienced before. Please Lord, make me worthy of her, help me to be the man my parent’s raised me to be and the husband that Claire deserves. Ye have brought her through time and space to share my life and I’ll no give ye cause to regret this blessed miracle. Thank ye Father, in yer name I pray.” Jamie rose and crossed himself, wiping tears from his eyes.

 

Jamie felt unburdened and at peace for the first time in years. He quietly undressed, washed and lifted Claire gently to place her under the blankets. He crawled in next to her, spooning close to her back and gathering her in his arms. One of his large hands gently cupped her breast, its warm weight felt perfect in his palm. Just before drifting off to sleep, he whispered, “Amen.”


	20. Trials of Marriage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A milestone here, chapter 20! Sorry it took so long to write and post, we have had houseguests all of June. Thank you for being faithful and patient readers. Cheers!

Chapter 20 – The Trials of Marriage

 

Jamie hips were rocking, seeking more friction while buried deep in the warmth of his wife. It felt wonderful as he neared his release. “Claire”, he woke at the sound of his voice moaning his wife’s name and realized he had been dreaming, his pumping hand fisted tight around his hard erection. “Ifrinn”, Jamie muttered. Quickly looking to see if he had disturbed his sleeping wife, which he hadn’t, he then battled with the dilemma of whether to finish himself to completion or not. He decided he would not disrespect his wife in such a manner and hoped fervently that she would be up for a little tryst in the morning. Spooning against his warm wife, he fell back asleep.

 

Jamie didn’t get his morning dalliance. He woke to the breaking of dawn lighting their chamber windows and the whimpering sounds of his wife, still deep in sleep. His first thought was had he injured her yesterday during their lovemaking? But she had shown no ill after effects. Maybe it was the horse ride directly following their activities? Either way, she was in discomfort, but not enough to wake her. He kissed her check, making sure she wasn’t feverish, which she wasn’t, so he decided to let her sleep longer. Jamie quietly dressed and headed out to the stables with the plan he would check on her during his afternoon meal.

 

“Claire, tis Molly. Are you well in there? Morning is moving right along and you have a few patients waiting for you in the surgery.”

 

Claire buried her head under the pillow and tried to ignore the incessant pounding on the door. Finally realizing there was no escape, she answered. “Tell them I’ll be there shortly.”

 

Groaning Claire rolled out of bed. She was sore and tired from the long two day horse ride and a bit tender in other places as well. Her head was also pounding and she felt achy and lethargic from head to toe. “Oh well, no help for it, duty calls,” she mumbled while dressing.

 

A few hours later and Claire was ready to clobber anyone who even looked at her. All of her patients seemed to be laughing at her while she tended to their needs. Most asked questions about her and Jamie’s outing and were so happy the couple was getting along so well. Those that didn’t have any unnecessary comments, had a knowing smirk on their faces as Claire bandaged and swabbed their scratches and tended to their other ailments.

 

She had just sat down in her chamber when Molly knocked once and asked if she could enter. On Claire’s yes, she bustled in with a tray of bannocks and hot soup.

 

“Here you go Claire, I know you’ve been busy and didn’t have time to eat this morning, thought you might be hungry.” She then turned to Claire and a grin broke out on her face.

 

“Why the bloody hell is everyone smirking at me? First all of my patients and now you.”

 

“Did you no look in the mirror this morning, Claire?”

 

“Jesus H Roosevelt Christ.” Claire exclaimed upon seeing her reflection. Her throat and neck were dotted with red love bites. “I certainly would have covered them if I’d have seen them.” She stammered as she turned a brilliant shade of red. “Everyone I’ve doctored this morning has remarked about how well Jamie and I are getting along and now I know why. I’ll be the hot topic of gossip and the whole castle will be laughing at me by dinner time. Guess I won’t be leaving my chambers tonight.”

 

“Now Claire, I imagine everyone is quite happy for ye and Jamie. Were their attitudes spiteful in anyway?”

 

“No, they seemed to find it amusing.”

 

“Well, there ye go, us Scots are fairly outspoken. If they’d have thought ill, they’d have voiced their opinion. Now eat up, ye need your strength.” Molly winked and quickly left the chamber.

 

It was only a few minutes later when Jamie knocked and inquired if he could enter. Hearing no reply, he entered their room to find Claire sitting pensively by the fire, eating her lunch.

 

“Hello Sassenach, how has your morning been?” He moved to kiss her check and she turned her head away from his touch.

 

“Fairly irritating. I’ve been made fun of and laughed at all morning. Look what you did to me yesterday.” Claire angrily spoke with tears in her eyes as she showed him the red blotches on her neck and throat. “Thanks to you, I’m now the favorite subject of gossip at Leoch, once again.” Claire replied tearfully.

 

“Sassenach, I’m sure no harm was meant, just a bit of good humor. Come here, let me hold ye.”

 

“I’d rather you didn’t, if you don’t mind. I’ll finish my lunch and see to the rest of my patients, with a scarf tied around my throat.” She quickly went to a chest, rummaging around, for a scarf.

 

Jamie stood dumbfounded for a minute not knowing how to respond. Claire had never been cross with him. “I’m sorry if I’ve upset ye Claire, it wasn’t my attention to mark your lovely skin, I just got carried away during our ……intimacy.” He held out his hand and made a few hesitant steps in her direction.

 

Claire held her hand up to halt him, “Jamie, I’m not feeling well. Can you please just leave me be for a bit. Also, I won’t be joining you in the hall for dinner. I’d rather not make a spectacle of myself any further today.” She sniffed as tears threatened to fall.

 

“Claire…..” But before Jamie could say more, Claire turned her back and interrupted, “Just leave me be Jamie.”

 

Jamie hastily left the chamber and with long hurried strides, proceeded directly to the stable, clearly at a loss to understand how to make things better. His wham was churning with anxiety as he went about his chores. Thinking that he had ruined a good thing before it had even really started, he didn’t hear Old Alec call to him.

 

“Jamie lad, something bothering ye? I’ve called yer name three times.” Old Alec inquired from ten feet away. “Ye look like ye’ve lost yer best friend. Horse step on yer toes man?”

 

“My toes are intact, but I might have lost my wife. I’ve shamed her and I don’t know how to put it right.” Jamie sighed despondently as he plopped himself down on a hay bale.

 

“Tell me what ye did, ye young fool.”

 

Knowing Alec, now widowed, had had a long and happy marriage resulting in eight children, Jamie figured he might be just the man for a little guidance. Jamie told Alec as much as he could of the situation, without getting into the finer details.

 

Alec sat for a few minutes, then let out a low chuckle. “Lad, when was yer handfasting? A few weeks at best if I’m thinking correctly. In that time has Claire had her woman’s courses?” Jamie turned red and shook his head from side to side. “I dinna mean to embarrass ye, but since yer married, husbands need to be aware of the workings of their wives bodies, makes life a whole lot easier. I had a wife and five daughters and I kept track of their cycles in a wee book. But even if I hadn’t written the timing down, I’d have known by their moods. I’ve been around Claire and she has a good strong will as well as a robust sense of humor. I’m thinking her courses are fixin to begin and most woman get a bit frachety and teary eyed. It’s best to do what they say when they say it and go on about yer business. A bit of extra kindness wouldn’t be amiss either.”

 

Realization dawned on Jamie and he felt stupid. He should have known, he grew up with his sister and should have seen the signs Claire was putting forth. He remembered once asking Jenny if she had any fresh bannocks, the ones at breakfast had been a bit stale. The next thing he knew a bannock had hit him right between the eyes. Claire wasn’t Jenny, but she was never cross with him and she did indeed have a wonderful sense of humor. Aye he was a fool.

 

Claire dealt with the last of her patients in the late afternoon, just as she felt a cramping low in her abdomen and a rush of fluid between her legs. "Oh bloody hell.” She uttered while rushing into her chambers.

 

She felt like a fool, she should have recognized the signs of her monthly. Irritability, headaches and lethargy. She was regular in her courses, but had completely lost track of time with everything that had happened to her. Now what, she thought. She couldn't ask Molly or Mrs. Fitz what they used in place of feminine napkins, they'd think she was daft. You're a nurse, you can figure this out, she thought.

 

She rummaged through the chests, finally finding a soft old linen shift that she tore into neat long strips and improvised a belt of sorts by tying the strips together. Then she proceeded to make smaller rags out of the remainder of the shift. She stood back and proudly eyed the two belts and the substantial pile of rags she had constructed.

 

Clare washed and changed into the most comfortable dress she could find, forgoing the stays and corset. The homemade belt seemed to be working out pretty well, as she set willowbark tea to steep to help with the cramping and headache. Claire thought "what I wouldn't give for some aspirin and sanitary napkins. Why am I staying here in the 1700’s again?"

 

Just then, there was a tentative knock and Jamie asked in a soft voice, "Claire, can I enter?"

 

Instead of answering, Claire opened the door to find Jamie, holding a supper tray in one hand and a posy in the other.

 

"I thought maybe ye would be hungry Sassenach." He set the tray down on the table in from of the fire and turned to hand her the colorful collection of flowers. "I'd like to apologize for my earlier behavior, I dinna give much thought to your feelings, and I am truly sorry." He hesitantly kissed her cheek, hoping he wouldn't be rebuked.

 

Claire took the flowers and set them in a pitcher of water, then turned to Jamie, "I must apologize myself, I was cranky and out of sorts. I ask your forgiveness also."

 

Jamie held his arms open for Claire, leaving the decision up to her. She stepped in and was enveloped in a warm but gentle hug. "How are ye feeling Sassenach? Anything I can do to help?"

 

"I’m fine Jamie, I started my courses and the first few days are always a bit rough. It just took me by surprise. Over the last couple of weeks, I had totally lost track of time and failed to see my body's signals. Usually, I'm pretty regular, so I'll pay attention from now on. I'll write the date in my medical notebook. Did you bring your supper also? Care to eat with me?"

 

"Aye, I'll be glad to join my wife. Would a drop or two of whisky help your discomfort? I'll fetch the bottle."

 

"I just made some willowbark tea, but I'll add a bit of whisky to the tea. Might be just what the Doctor ordered, or in this case, the Doctor’s husband." Claire raised on her tip toes and kissed Jamie's cheek.

 

While eating, Jamie told Claire about his and Old Alec's conversation and they both had a laugh. "Seems we were both taken by surprise then." Claire continued, "I guess the bloom is off of the rose and we are an old married couple that now shares everything."

 

"Aye, this is what makes a marriage special Sassenach, the little intimate day to day details. We are one body and whatever pains you, pains me also. Please don't be timid or feel that you have to hide things from me. I grew up on a farm you ken and I am well aware of female cycles and such.

Please tell me if I can aid you in the least. That's what partners do for each other, aye?"

 

"Jamie, you are too good to be true. Frank never wanted anything to do with me during my period, not even acknowledging my discomfort. This might take a bit of adjustment. I'll remind you that I've been pretty independent and not used to being looked after."

 

"I'll no smother ye Sassenach, but I do want to give ye comfort if I can. Can ye let me care for ye a bit?"

 

Claire stood, grimacing as a bad cramp hit her belly. Knowing she needed to do some self care, she asked Jamie to take the tray to the kitchen and give her a few minutes of privacy.

 

Upon his return and the okay to enter, Jamie placed a stack of soft towels on the hearth. "I remember my mam placing warm cloths on Jenny's belly when she was ailing and thought maybe it would help relieve your discomfort." He asked a reclining Claire.

 

"That would be wonderful Jamie, I'll get up and help."

 

"No, let me do this for ye. Ye just lay there, here, let me refill your drink." Bustling around the room, Jamie put the kettle on to boil again and saw to Claire's comfort. Soon she was plied with whisky laced tea, warm cloths wrapped around her abdomen and a propped up Jamie lying next to her in bed reading.

 

After a comfortable silence, Jamie asked, "Sassenach, let me know when ye need me to change the warm clothes, aye?" Claire?"

 

Jamie looked over to see his wife sound asleep. He quietly got out of bed, lifted her shift and removed the damp towels, chuckling at Claire's innovative design. "Brilliant lass," he murmured as he leaned down to kiss her cheek. He pulled the quilt up and tucked Claire under its warmth, before rounding the bed and joining her in slumber.

 

Jamie thought they had weathered their first little married spat quite well. He remembered his mam and da having more than a few heated exchanges. But, he also remembered how they couldn’t quit touching and kissing after they had made up. Perhaps a few disagreements wouldn’t end a marriage after all, that was a comforting thought.

 


	21. Blissful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter is rated M/NSFW - Explicit adult content. 
> 
> Thank you all for your comments and kudos, you are greatly appreciated! Cheers!

Chapter 21 - Blissful

 

Following their quick trip to Cranesmuir, Jamie and Claire settled back into their regular routine. Jamie kissed Claire each morning and went off to the stables, while Claire slept in a bit until she woke naturally or was awakened with the notice that patients were waiting for her in the surgery. When she had free time, she worked in the gardens or visited with Mrs. Fitz and Molly. Colum was responding well to her twice weekly visits of healing and massage. Castle folk remarked to each other on the improvement in his movements and disposition.

 

The night after their spat, Jamie and Claire strode slowly into the great hall, arms linked and heads bent together in conversation. They joined Rupert, Angus, Murtaugh and Old Alec at their usual dinner table. As Jamie helped Claire into her seat, Rupert inquired with a twinkle in his eye, “Are you a wee bit cold Claire? I see you have a scarf around your neck?” All eyes were on Claire as she responded, totally straight faced, “No, quite the opposite. I got overheated on the ride back from Cranesmuir and seem to have developed a rash on my throat and neck.” She then looked up to see all eyes staring at her. “But it was a grand ride and I would do it all over again, rash or not.” She then shrugged her shoulders and started eating her meal. Loud guffaws of laughter erupted as Jamie pulled Claire close to his side and whispered, “Aye, yer a witty one, my wife.”

 

Jamie and Claire spent the evenings after dinner in their cozy chamber, sipping whisky and sharing their day's activities and more stories of their lives. Jamie never tired of hearing Claire's tales of her time and history and Claire loved to hear of Jamie's youth and family.

 

"I know you wrote to your family about our handfasting, did you explain why you married me? Did you get a reply? What did they say?" Claire inquired one evening.

 

"Aye, I told them the basics of what happened at Fort William and that we were pledged. I also wrote again about a week ago saying we are blessed in our union and very happy together. Is that alright with ye Sassenach?”

 

"Of course Jamie. Did they reply?”

 

"I received a letter from my parents and one from Jenny. Mam and Da are just relieved that we are happy and they are both anxious to meet ye. Jenny, well Jenny is Jenny. She is questioning how I can be settled with an Englishwoman. I did tell ye she is outspoken and very strong in her opinions, no? But she worries about me and I have no doubt that she will come to love ye after she gets to know ye better. Ian will do his best to control her ways, but dinna be worrying, I know how to handle my sister. She’s feeling the size of a barn, their bairn is set to arrive any day."

 

"Jenny also said that mam's health has not improved in the least. She rarely leaves her bed and has increasingly drawn into herself. My Da is at his wit's end with worry. They are not overly fond of Broch Morda's physician, but there are no other healers close by and they dinna think mam can handle the journey to Inverness. I'll speak to Colum again about letting us leave and try to make him see reason. If mam dies while I'm stuck here at Leoch, I might actually kill the bastard."

 

"Jamie, you could bring up that I'm a healer and can help your mother. Maybe that will sway his mind into letting you leave a few months early."

 

"I doubt it would help Sassenach. He's of the mind that she made her bed and now she has to lie in it. She went against Colum and married my Da, so in his mind, she's getting what she deserves. MacKenzies can be very spiteful and stubborn."

 

"I've seen the stubborn MacKenzie side of you, but not the spiteful side, though you did just threaten to kill your uncle. Should I be worried?"

 

"Ye never have to be worried about how I'll treat ye Claire. Now those that do us wrong, I make no promises in that regard."

 

Their situation was not ideal, for he longed to be with Claire at Lallybroch, but every night Jaime said prayers of thanksgiving for what he had within arm’s reach. They were developing a close relationship and truly enjoyed each other’s company. The desire they felt toward each other was combustible. It only took the brush of a hand or a few kisses and they wanted more. Claire kept offering to give Jamie pleasure and relief, but he would have none of it. He wanted to be on the giving side and could hardly wait to be joined with her again. Jamie ached badly upon waking to her warmth and softness curled along his side, he would kiss her and quickly dress and leave for the stables before he gave in to her offerings of relief.

 

Claire thought often about how easy she and Jamie’s relationship had become. After being in a very antagonistic marriage with Frank, she realized this was what a good and comfortable marriage could be. She knew it was early days yet, but she truly enjoyed their pleasant comradery. She desired Jamie, badly. There was a fire that burned every time they snuggled or kissed. Even the reminder of their one true joining would bring heat to Claire’s face. She was anxious for her cycle to be finished.

 

The morning that Claire’s courses ceased, a huge smile spread over her face. Jamie had been so kind and considerate to her, she wanted to do something special for him. Late in the afternoon she went to the kitchen and asked if a tray of dinner could be delivered to their chambers, and for a couple extra buckets of water to be brought immediately.

 

When the buckets arrived, Claire undressed and washed from head to toe with Bergamot and Chamomile soap she had gotten from Geillis. She donned a soft simple light green gown, with no stays or shift underneath.

 

Jamie arrived in their chambers, and breathed in the rich scent of Cock-a-Leekie soup and warm yeasty bread. He watched his beautiful wife, brushing out her damp curls before the fire. Inhaling deeply, a feeling of warmth and peace filling his senses.

 

“Jamie, I thought we’d have dinner in our room tonight. I bathed and there is some warm water on the hearth for you to wash. Could you please latch the door?”

 

Jamie bent to give his wife a warm wet kiss on the cheek, “As you wish, mo nighen donn.” Inhaling her heavenly scent, he lingered with his nose in her hair, before hurrying to do her bidding. Jamie washed and was soon dressed in a clean shirt and trousers. He thought about forgoing his trousers, but wasn’t quite sure of his wife’s intentions.

 

Claire rose and held out her hand, “Come and eat with me, please.”

 

Few words were spoken as they passed back and forth bits of buttered bread and shared sips of wine from the same glass. The warm look in Claire’s eyes had Jamie’s heart racing. He gently grasped Claire’s hand, “Will ye come to bed with me then?” At Claire’s nod, they rose from the table and faced each other.

 

Claire’s lips traced lightly over Jamie’s, her tongue stroking his bottom lip, seeking entry. Jamie opened for her and their kiss became deep and wet, her hands buried deep in Jamie’s curls. Jamie pulled Claire tight against him, hands roaming over her dress, finding her unfettered breasts warm and soft, he fondled and rolled the nipples through the fabric, drawing noises from both of them. His mouth moved downward, sucking lightly and licking her neck and throat.

 

Claire’s hands roamed under Jamie’s shirt, tracing strong muscles and feeling the soft hairs spattered across his chest, then down over his straining breeches, fondling his rigid length through the cloth. Wanting more, she unfastened and pushed down his trousers, moving her hands to grasp and stroke his firm buttocks. Jamie quickly divested Claire of her gown with shaking hands, finding nothing but velvety white skin, his hands moved to her arse, cupping and pulling her against his straining erection. Their breaths coming in ragged pants.

 

“Claire, I need ye so much I can scarcely breath, will ye have me?”

 

“Yes, yes Jamie, I’ll have you.”

 

Claire quickly pulled his shirt over his head and they tumbled to the bed, Jamie resting on top of Claire. Deeply kissing, his hand traveled to the junction of her legs, finding her wet and wanting. Claire stroked Jamie, fondling his balls, feeling their heat against her palm, before wrapping her fingers around his velvet length.

 

Jamie rocked into her hand as his fingers found a rhythm buried in her tight warmth. His tongue licked and tasted her breasts until his mouth settled on one nipple, sucking and nibbling gently.  

 

Claire, moaning and thrashing, groaned out, “Jamie, now, I need you in me now.”

 

Jamie’s fingers were replaced by the tip of his cock as Claire guided him to her opening. Wanting to savor every sensation he had pictured in his mind for a week, Jamie slowly pushed into Claire’s hot depths, inch by inch. His mouth melded to hers, tongues tangling and sharing breaths, as he became buried in her warmth. Feeling Claire clutch around the length of him, Jamie almost became undone. “Claire, hold still.” His hands held her hips tight as they started to rock.

 

The sensation of being filled completely by Jamie was overwhelming, she had to move. He fit her tight, hot and perfectly. “Jamie, I can’t hold still.” Claire slowly started rocking again, seeking friction and release. Jamie soon joined her in the perfect movement. They couldn’t hold each other close enough, hands wrapped tightly and faces buried deep into necks.

 

Claire shifted her hips until Jamie was hitting the perfect spot, she let out a deep moan. “Like this Claire? Tell me what you need, I want you to come with me.” Jamie shuddered.

 

“Yes, just hold on, keep……keep rocking with me.”

 

Jamie lessened his hold until his mouth could reach her nipple. Clamping down and sucking hard, he kept the steady rhythm going. “Claire, I canna hold on…..much longer, come for me.” He switched to the other nipple, biting and sucking while squeezing the other between his fingers.

 

Jamie felt Claire start to quiver and spasm around him as she let out a powerful moan. Burying his face back into her neck, hips jerking erratically, he came in hot spurts buried deep in his wife’s warmth, whispering words that Claire could not understand. Shaking and sweaty they lay tangled together, hearts beating as one.

 

She woke, not able to breath and feeling like she was roasting alive. The weight and heat came from Jamie, sound asleep and still laying on her chest. Gently pushing Jamie to the side, she rose and glanced down at her sleeping husband, just in time to see a smile lift one corner of his large sweet mouth. “You precious man.” Claire whispered.

 

Claire stood next to their chamber window, hoping to catch a cooling breeze. Lost in thoughts of their sweet love making, she suddenly sensed Jamie at her back, glancing down at the long string of pearls he placed around her neck.

 

Jamie moved to sit on the edge of the bed, head bowed and not meeting Claire’s eyes, “They are scotch pearls. They belonged to my mam and now they belong to my wife. Very precious to me, as are you Claire.”

 

Claire kissed Jamie on the shoulder, neck and lifting his chin up with her finger, sealed their lips together. Jamie gently grasped her hips, positioning her over him as she sank down on his length. Their movements were languid and gentle, slowly rocking together. Jamie broke the sweet kiss and they gazed lovingly into each other’s eyes, time seemed to stop, though their bodies continued the gentle rhythm. Feeling the mounting heat, Jamie’s mouth moved to Claire’s breasts, gently licking and suckling. Hands roamed over chests, backs and sides, stroking and aiding in their movements, until they came together in a deep rolling orgasm.

 

Claire was on the brink of sleep, blissfully snuggled in Jamie’s arms, the only thing between them were the precious pearls. She heard him softly utter in Gaelic, “Mo chridhe, tha gaol agam ort.”

 

Claire forgot all about the Gaelic the next morning. Jamie woke her abruptly with a sound kiss, “We’ve slept a bit latter than normal. Last night was bliss, mo nighean donn and I’d love nothing better than to spend the day in bed with my sweet wife.” Giving her a firm squeeze on the arse, Jamie rose, “but there’s a new foal on the way from Colum’s favorite mare, Losgann. I’m hoping a safe birthing will soften him up and I can use the opportunity to ask about heading home a bit sooner than October. Have a lovely day my Sassenach.” Jamie was dressed and out of the door in a flash.

 

Claire stretched her lanquid body, smiling to herself and ruminating over last night’s lovemaking. Damn horses, she wouldn’t have minded spending the day in bed with her husband in the least.


	22. Horses and Hexes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting. Due to a death, travel and illnesses in the family, I just haven't had time. Don't expect a regular schedule anytime soon, but I'll keep the story going as long as you all keep reading. Thank you for your patience, kudos and comments! Cheers!
> 
> If you follow me on Tumblr, I will be using the same picture from now on, easier to spot Promises.

Chapter 22 – Horses and Hexes

 

Claire inhaled the clean morning air, filling her lungs with the fragrance of herbs and growing green plants. Dusting her hands off from the weed pulling, she rose from her kneeling position in the garden, arching her back to work out the stiffness. She turned her face into the sun, closed her eyes, and basked in a moment of warmth, peace and quiet. Claire let out a loud squeak and jumped when a strong hand grabbed her arm, tugging her towards the stables. She opened her eyes to see her husband, disheveled and frantically pulling on her.

 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle ye Sassenach, but I need ye in the stables.” Jamie muttered as Claire tried to keep up with his hectic pace.

 

Claire arrived to a pacing and concerned Alec, who quickly grabbed her hands, pulled her arms toward him, eyes calculating and measuring, “Aye, I see what you are saying lad, nice long thin and strong arms. It just might work,” He started dragging her towards a stall.

 

Claire dug in her heals, halting all further progress, “Hold on the both of you! I don’t appreciate being interrupted, man handled and inspected. What in the hell is going on?”

 

Jamie, turned Claire to face him, “I’m sorry again, but Losgann is in difficulties with the foaling. She’s Colum’s favorite mare and we have a wee hoof sticking out where the nose should be. The size of my arms and hands are making the turning of the foal difficult in such cramped quarters and Alec’s rheumatism stops him from aiding me. We were thinking with yer healing skills, ye could be of some help.”

 

There was a pleading look in Jamie’s deep blue eyes. She had never seen her husband actually panic before, but he was clearly on the precipice, “Well, I have helped turn a few backward babies in my time, I suppose it can’t be that much different. Tell me what to do.”

 

There was a frenzy of movement and before Claire could say more, she was covered in a full length apron and a foul smelling lubricant had been rubbed on her arms. “Yuk, what is this stuff?”

 

Alec replied, “Dinna you worry lass, it’s of my own making, smells nasty, but will na harm you.”

 

Jamie led her over to a large Sorrel mare, laying on her side. She was covered in perspiration and breathing heavily, sides heaving with exertion.

 

Jamie spoke soothing Gaelic as he rubbed and patted the mare’s neck. Claire picked up words of “beautiful lass, Losgann” and “ye are in good hands now, my wife will care for ye.”

 

“Claire, ye need to reach in and see if ye can find the head, it needs to be turned so that she delivers face first. Try to push the leg gently back in. Stop when ye feel a contraction, it might be a bit painful, sorry.”

 

Claire was soon immersed in poor Losgann, right up to her shoulder, searching and groping, her only sense that was useful was her sense of touch. “Jamie, I don’t know what I’m feeling for.”

 

“Sorry Sassenach, try for a forehead, a mouth, an ear, anything except another leg at this point,” Jamie frantically replied.

 

Claire felt a crushing constriction on her whole arm and held completely still until it passed.   “Jesus H Roosevelt Christ, that hurt.”   She felt Jamie’s warm hand rubbing her sweaty back. “I’m sorry, Sassenach.”

 

Claire snapped, “If you say you’re sorry one more time, I’ll throttle you within an inch of your life, James Fraser.”

 

“I’m so…” At Jamie’s almost reply, Alec let out a loud howl. “Aye, she’ll do laddie.”

 

Claire realized she was close to panicking herself and thought back to her emergency surgeries during the war. She had this, she had seen and done harder tasks. Regulating her breathing and clearing her mind of all noise and movement around her, she focused solely on what her hands were feeling, imagining the shape of the foal and how it was laying. Using her intuition, her hands followed the body of the foal, touching and visualizing it’s shape, realizing that the head had turned backwards over the foal’s shoulder. Gently moving the head and neck a bit at a time in the very cramped quarters, she eased the head into a better position. Claire stopped all movement during the crushing contractions, breathing in and out, then she went back to the lower legs of the foal, folding, turning and pushing. She took hold of the front legs, gently pulling and tugging until she felt the whole body shift into position. Claire held her breath through one more strong contraction, gave a final tug and was abruptly propelled backwards onto the floor with a rush of fluid and foal.

 

Strong arms gently lifted her and sat her on a hay bale, Jamie turned and finished helping with the birth. Alec knelt in front of Claire, gently wiping her sweating face, then her arms and hands with a wet cloth, removed her apron and handed her a dipper full of cool water, followed by a cup of whisky.

 

“Ye did braw lass,” Alec patted her on the back repeatedly.

 

Claire finally came back to herself to see Jamie and Alec both staring at her. Jamie crouched close to her face, running his hands over her curls,” Are ye fine Claire? We’ve been talking to ye for a few minutes and ye haven’t seemed to hear a word? Are ye hurt badly? What can I do?”

 

Claire stuttered out, “I’m fine, I think. How’s Losgann and the baby?” She looked over and answered her own question with the precious site of a beautiful sorrel foal standing on wobbly legs, a perfect match to his mother, also standing and nudging the foal with her nose. A huge smile broke out over her face,“I did it! Well, that’s certainly a first for me. I think I need another cup of whisky,” Claire held her empty cup up with a shaking hand.

 

Alec and Jamie, slapped each other heartily on their backs and broke out into large guffaws of laughter, then Jamie pulled her tightly against his chest. “Ye sure did Sassenach and ye can have the whole barrel, ye deserved it. Come on, let me take care of ye.” Claire took a few steps, her legs suddenly giving out. Jamie lifted her into his arms, holding her tightly against his chest, pressing gentle kisses to her head as he carried her back to their chambers.

 

“Can ye stand long enough for me to get ye out of these filthy clothes?” After a nod, Claire was quickly down to her shift, sitting in front of the fire with a glass of whisky, while Jamie heated water.

 

Jamie washed himself first, donned a clean shirt then saw to Claire. Removing her shift, he washed her face and neck gently, but took a gasp of breath at the sight of her, “Oh, yer lovely fine skin Sassenach. Ye can go ahead and throttle me for repeating myself, but I’m so verra sorry,” Claire gasped also as she looked down and saw purple bruising blossoming across her arms and hands. “I’m shocked I’m bruising so easily, I know the contractions were a bit painful, but I thought the birth went by pretty quickly.”

 

“Claire, I lost track of time also, but no, it was a long drawn out affair. Ye quit talking or responding. I really became alarmed when ye quit swearing. Did ye not hear us?”

 

“No, it’s something I learned to do during surgeries in the war. As a nurse I wasn’t supposed to do the actual diagnosing or cutting of patients, but often the wounded poured in and with limited doctors, I was forced to make life and death decisions. I found by quieting everything around me and focusing my mind, I could feel where the bleeder or injury was the severest and I instinctively repaired the patient, if able. It’s not something I can easily explain. At first the surgeons were upset and threatened me for disobeying rules. But soon the numbers of deaths were reduced when I was the nurse working on the critical patients. It takes a staggering statistic to handle a male ego, especially a male doctor. I was never outright praised, but was repeatedly requested when a difficult surgery was required. Anyway, I lose all track of time and surroundings when this happens. I didn’t mean to ignore either of you, Jamie.”

 

“Aye Claire, ye are a miracle indeed. And to think ye have somehow become my miracle, it boggles my mind.” He gently lifted Claire from the chair and washed her lovingly from head to toe. He wanted to give certain parts of his wife special attention, but took pity on his swaying, bruised and tipsy wife and denied giving into his own urges.

 

Claire was dressed in a clean shift, sipping tea that she had instructed Jamie to make, to aid

her discomfort, when a loud rumble filled the room. Jamie set his own glass of whisky down, they both looked at each other and burst into laughter, asking simultaneously, “Was that me or you?” More laughter ensued before Jamie managed to croak out. “Either way, we have both missed lunch. Ye just sit there and relax, I’ll go to the kitchens and see what Mrs. Fitz can fix us.”

 

Claire sat in a stupor sipping her whisky laced tea, wondering if she was too drunk, tired or sore to ravage her husband. Her gaze traveled to the bed, wondering if she could get Jamie to lie down with her and take an afternoon nap. She noticed what looked like a bunch of dried flowers half hidden underneath the bed. Claire made move to rise, but settled back on the chair with a groan, tired muscles protesting. She must have spent more time on that stable floor than she realized, deciding she would have Jamie retrieve whatever it was under the bed.

 

Jamie proudly regaled all within hearing in the kitchen of his wife’s wondrous exploits in saving Colum’s favorite mare, and bringing a healthy new foal safe into the stable yard. Mrs. Fitz was glad to make them both a heaping late lunch and enough food that they needn’t leave their chambers for the evening meal. Jamie bussed her cheek, grabbed the food, then caught sight of Laoghaire’s sour scowl as she stood, arms crossed indignantly, watching every move he was making.

 

Once back in their cozy chambers, Jamie helped feed Claire, her sore arms and hands were still a bit wobbly, much to her chagrin, “Would ye just quit grumbling and let me take care of ye,” Jamie scolded. “Yer hands are shaking and ye’ll only make a mess of yourself, then I’ll have to get ye all naked again and scrub yer body and I’d hate to have to do this monotonous task over again,” Jamie teased with a smile.

 

“Fine, you can feed me, but I don’t have to like it. I spotted something lying under the bed, could you please see what it is.” Claire pointed, “It’s just there by the head of the bed.”

 

Jamie quickly did her bidding and returned, holding the item up for inspection, a scowl overtaking his face. “What is it Jamie? Looks like a dried bunch of weeds to me.”

 

“It’s an ill wish.”

 

“Which is?”

 

“A charm or a hex, meaning harm or evil towards a person.”

 

“Who would put something evil under our bed?”

 

Both came to the same conclusion, speaking the name at the exact time, “Laoghaire”.


	23. Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW - Sexual content and Explicit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Readers, thank you all for your kudos and comments. They are greatly appreciated and keep me writing. Hope you enjoy this new chapter. Cheers!

Chapter 23 – Heat

 

An angry Jamie tried to throw the ill wish into the fire, but Claire grabbed it out of his hand, “no, I’m holding on to this. I’m not exactly sure of my course of action yet, but I’m keeping the evidence.”

 

“Now Sassenach, I can see ye are angry, but please proceed with caution. I don’t trust that girl in the least, but she holds Colum’s ear. They both feel they’ve been wronged by us, but especially by me for not following through with their plans. But of course, Laoghaire is going to blame ye over me.” Jamie’s warm hands ran soothingly up and down Claire’s arms. Gently lifting her chin until her eyes me his, “promise me lass, ye’ll no do anything rash.”

 

“I won’t. I’ll wait a bit, but there will be words, this is ridiculous and must stop! You are my husband and she needs to move on.” With this last outburst, all of the energy in Claire left her poor bruised and exhauster body, she sagged wearily against Jamie.

 

Jamie cradled her close, placing kisses into her curls. “Come, I’m putting ye to bed, Sassenach. Ye’ve had an exhausting day, a goodly amount of whisky and now even more strife added in.” Jamie placed the ill wish on the table, picked up Claire, placing her gently under the covers and tucked the soft down coverlet securely around his wife. “Sleep mo chridhe.”

 

“One day you are going to have to teach me Gaelic.” Claire stuttered over the last word and quickly fell asleep.

 

Jamie sat on the edge of the bed, lightly tracing her face and lips with delicate fingertips, “tha gaol agam ort,” he whispered.

 

The sun woke Claire the next morning, stretching her arms overhead, she came to an abrupt halt as pain radiated throughout her entire body. She let out a loud groan and gently lowered her arms. Closing her eyes, she relaxed her mind and took stock of her body, slowly scanning from head to toe. Just bruises and sore muscles. She sighed and gently began preparing willowbark tea to aid in her discomfort. What she wouldn’t give for a couple of aspirin, she thought. Sticking her head into her surgery and seeing it empty, she thanked her blessings. Eventually Claire shuffled her way into the kitchen.

 

Mrs. Fitz took one look at Claire and shuttled her into a chair, “You just sit here my dearie, I’ll get you some parritch, bannocks and a nice pot of reviving tea. We heard what you did yesterday, Jamie came in proud as a peacock of you. But just look at your poor arms, I’ll make sure no one bothers you today, unless it’s a serious matter. When you’ve finished go on back to your chambers and rest a bit.”

 

“Thank you Mrs. Fitz. But after I eat, I’ll take a bit of a walk outside. It’s good to work out the muscles with a bit of movement, but I won’t overdo.”

 

Soon Claire was strolling through her garden, making a mental list of weeds that needed pulling and plants that needed support. She was lost in thought, when she heard footsteps walking toward her, turning, a huge smile blossomed on her face.

 

“Good morning Sassenach, and how are ye feeling this morning?” Jamie asked as he sat down a wooden bench he was carrying.

 

“A bit sore, but feeling better as the morning goes on. What have you got there?”

 

“I made ye a wee bench for sitting in yer garden.” Jamie surveyed the area, picked up the bench and sat it under a good sized apple tree set off to the side of her garden. “This will keep yer precious skin out of the sun. Now hold on, I’m not quite finished yet, I dinna expect you to be out here.” Jamie set off at a lope back toward the barn.

 

He soon returned with a coarse seat cushion made out of a woven cloth, filled with hay and wool. Placing it on the bench, he took Claire’s hand and pulled her to sit down.

 

“How does it feel? I found the bag in the barn and though it’s not fancy, thought it might be a bit more comfortable than the wood. I wouldna want anything to harm yer precious backside, I’m right fond of it, ye ken?”

 

Jamie sat down next to Claire and took her hand into his large calloused one. It wasn’t a large bench, but very sturdy, and they were closely pressed side by side. Claire was looking at their entwined fingers, but her throat closed off and she couldn’t find the words. Jamie felt the wetness of tears on his hand and lifted her chin with his fingers. “Do ye not like it Claire? Is it not fancy enough for ye? I know it’s not……”

 

Claire’s lips stopped Jamie’s words with a sweet kiss, her fingers running through his soft curls. Pulling back to look into his blue eyes, she softly spoke, “It’s perfect Jamie. Between your mother’s pearls and now my bench, I feel like a princess out of a fairy tale.”

 

At a loss for words, Jamie kissed her back and somehow Claire ended up on his lap, not remembering moving there. Strong arms held her tightly as his hands caressed her back and sides. Claire felt his erection pressed tight against her thigh. Jamie was about to suggest she needed to lie down and he’d see her inside, when a throat clearing slowly penetrated their bubble.

 

They broke apart to see Geillis Duncan standing there, hands on her hips and a very amused expression on her face. “Am I interrupting anything? Mrs. Fitz sent me out to your garden, said you would be here. She didn’t say anything about being cautious upon approach.” She left off with a high pitched giggle.

 

Jamie quickly removed Claire from his lap and stood with his back to Geillis, willing his erection to obey. Looking over his shoulder, he replied, “Nice to see ye again Mrs. Duncan, if ye’ll excuse me I must be getting back to work.” He kissed Claire’s check, whispering “later” and strode off quickly to the stables.

 

“Well, ye seem to be quite pleased in yer marriage Claire. Ready to spill any details yet?” Geillis asked as she sat down, taking Jamie’s spot, surveying her friend, “You look a fine mess, the big clod didn’t beat you now did he? Was I witnessing a reconciliation moment?”

 

Claire sighed deeply and explained about the foal’s birthing, neatly sidestepping the first question, but making it abundantly clear that Jamie had not abused her. They spent a pleasant conversation in the garden, then went in for lunch and further conversation in Claire’s surgery. They exchanged healing knowledge, gossip and funny stories, the afternoon passed quickly.

 

“Goodness, this has been fun, Claire. I’m thinking I’m going to start visiting you more often, although you still won’t give me any personal details about the young fox, I can see that you are quite pleased. Geillis stated, rising to leave.

 

“I will say he makes me very happy. There, does that suit some of your curiosity, you nosey woman?”

 

“It does help a bit. Now, I’m thinking I’ll come visit you about every other week, unless you come to see me. Send me a note if you plan on coming into Cranesmuir, or if you’re in need of any supplies for your surgery.”

 

As Geillis turned to leave, Claire stopped her, “Geillis, one more thing. Do you know anything about ill wishes? One was left under our bed yesterday and it seems a bit creepy to me.”

 

Geillis asked with a worried look on her face, “Do you still have it Claire? Can I see it?”

 

Claire quickly retrieved the offending item and handed it to Geillis. “Well, that bitch!”

 

“What? Geillis you are scaring me with that look upon your face.”

 

“Laoghaire came to me seeking help. Told me she had a man bothering her and wanted to put fear in him, she asked me to make her an ill wish, so I did. I had no idea she meant it for you Claire, or I would never have done her bidding. I’m so sorry.”

 

“Do you believe in this nonsense, magic and superstition?” Claire admonished.

 

“There are forces in this world beyond our control, good and bad, and yes, I do believe in the tales of the old. Don’t tell me you haven’t experienced anything unusual in your travels, Claire?” Geillis’s eyes bored into Claire, a questioning look upon her face.

 

“Well, yes, I’ve seen a few things.” Claire nodded and hesitantly grabbed her friend’s hands, tiredness quickly overtaking her body and not wanting to continue discussing this topic, “I am dragging on my feet and think I’ll rest before dinner. Thank you for the lovely visit.”

 

“One more thing Claire, be warry of Laoghaire. Speaking of bad forces, she hates you. The look on her face when I handed her this,” Geillis looked down at the offending item, “was pure loathing. I’m taking it home, saying a few words over this and burning it. That should help break the charm. Even if you don’t believe, it won’t hurt now, will it? ”

 

The ladies walked out together, continuing their small talk, while a stable boy readied Geillis’s horse. Soon she was trotting away, waving goodbye to Claire.

 

Claire quickly undressed down to her shift and snuggled into bed. Smelling Jamie’s scent in the cozy bedding, her thoughts turned to their lovemaking, how could it not as she lay where they tangled together every night. When they made love, Jamie had a powerful urgency in him that roused her to response. Although still a bit awkward, he made love with joy and abandonment, but always caring if Claire found her own pleasure. Virginity might be a highly underrated commodity, was Claire’s last thought as her eyelids closed.

 

Jamie knocked, hearing no response, he quietly opened their chamber door to find his wife taking a late afternoon nap. Bolting the door firmly, he removed his clothing and washed thoroughly with cold water, not wanting the noise of heating a kettle to disturb Claire’s slumber. He lovingly studied her angelic face, framed by dark curls. He hardened just looking at her breasts peaking over the top of her shift. His gaze traveled, settling on the curve of her waist and hip. Jamie wanted more than anything to please her, as of yet, he hadn’t tasted the sacred place between her legs, not that he hadn’t been wanting to, but his body betrayed him. When her small soft hands caressed his chest, back or buttocks, he was mesmerized and wanting. But, when she gripped his cock or placed her sweet mouth around him, he could only stand a few seconds before he had to be buried deep inside her. Luckily, they usually reached their peak within moments of each other, or he would tease her bud until she joined him in oblivion.

 

Jamie was at war with his body, wanting to worship Claire, take the time to cover her in kisses and caresses from head to toe, but when she touched him, he was lost. A sudden thought popped into his head, you win a war by surprising the enemy with a sneak attack, he being the enemy in question.

 

Claire woke to butterfly wings fluttering along her abdomen, then moving to her hips bones. She groggily went to brush away their movements when she was gently turned over to lay on her back and her thighs being spread open, while the delicate wings now moved up her inner thighs. Her hands reached down and encountered silk, not butterfly wings. Claire opened her eyes to stare over the plane of her body, seeing her shift rolled up past her waist and Jamie’s eyes pleading into her own eyes, “Is this okay Sassenach?” At her nod, Jamie parted her folds with gentle fingers, stroking and exploring, his half closed eyes looked on with longing, mesmerized by the sight of his wife’s most secret place. He replaced his fingers with his warm mouth, inhaling deeply, his tongue taking a nice long taste, “ambrosia” Claire heard Jamie whisper. He licked, exploring every fold and hollow, wanting to drown in her body. Obsessed with his exploration, he felt Claire’s fingers running through his curls, caressing his scalp. Lifting his head slightly, he muttered, “Sassenach stop, dinna touch me.” Her hands halted and one grabbed the bedsheet under her, while the other pressed overhead against the headboard. Jamie’s mouth quickly resumed its quest, now finding her bud with circled licks and sucking caresses.

 

Claire couldn’t catch her breath and didn’t recognize the noises she was incoherently uttering. She felt and dimly heard, Jamie’s humming noises and vibrations coming from his throat. Heat was blooming in her core, up across her chest, neck and face. She was on fire and slowing leading towards combustion.

 

Jamie was lost in paradise, her taste, smell, texture was heaven. He could live on her delicious juices. Hearing Claire’s noises becoming louder and noticing her frantic leg movements, he gently probed and stroked with his fingers while giving her clitoris undivided attention. One of her hands came back down, pressing his head closer to her core and he dove in, sucking harder and adding another finger to her deep warmth, picking up the rhythm. He felt her quiver and tighten around his fingers as her thighs clamped his head in a steely vice as she screamed and completely became undone.

 

Jamie took one long lick and swallow, before moving up his wife’s body. “Are you alive Sassenach?” Unable to speak she, nodded, eyes still closed. He gently removed the soaked shift by lifting her upper body, then pulled her close. “Mo nighean donn, I need to be inside you, now.” On another nod, Jamie entered her in one swift movement. Claire gasped and started rocking her hips, “No, hold still” Jamie demanded. Upon feeling her hips rock again, Jamie clamped his teeth down on Claire’s neck and bit her sharply, “dinna move, I said.” His throbbing cock felt the aftershocks of Claire’s orgasm, and it wanted to explode. Jamie took a few deep breaths, licking the bite and soothing her perspiring neck with his tongue. Slowly his hips began thrusting in a deep, but gentle penetration. Holding each other tightly, sweaty bodies pressed as tight as possible together, time stopped, the world around them faded, they were the only two in the universe.

 

Claire now moved with Jamie, she didn’t care if he bit her again, she couldn’t halt her need. She wasn’t sure if she had lost consciousness for a few heartbeats, but only came back to her body when his hardness filled her. It felt like nothing she had ever felt before. He completed her, stretching her, she felt the need deep in her bones and her heart, as they rocked together. This was heaven. The burning started in her core again, higher and higher the flames rose. “Jamie, harder, harder………”

 

Jamie didn’t know if he did her bidding or his own, but he increased speed and strength, spewing Gaelic words, even he didn’t understand in her ear. “Give me your mouth Claire” he gasped out and they fused together, devouring each other with tongues, lips and teeth. He felt her walls grip him, squeezing and spasming and was lost, spilling into her depths, over and over.

 

They lay for minutes, or hours, until their breaths and heartbeats slowed. Planting a kiss on her lips, Jamie rolled to the side, “alright Sassenach?”

 

“No”, you broke me, you broke the healer. Now what are we going to do?”

 

“I feel a wee bit broken myself, guess we’ll just stay in bed until someone finds our bones. But seriously, I know yer still bruised, are ye alright?”

 

“My body is numb, so if you hurt me, I can’t feel it yet. But even if I am a bit achier, it was definitely worth it.”

 

“Aye, it was. Claire, is this usual, between a man and a woman, when you touch me and I touch you….?”

 

“It’s something like this, but no, it isn’t usual, this is different.”

 

“I’ve kissed girls before, even held a few. It starts out the same, but after a moment with you, suddenly it’s as though I’ve a living flame in my arms.” Jamie looked deep into pools of amber, “and I want only to throw myself into it and be consumed.”

 

Mouths met in a deep, wet, warm but gentle kiss.

 

“Jamie, I feel the same. What we just did, what I feel when I’m joined with you, it’s nothing I’ve ever felt in my life. It’s a bit frightening to be honest, this need between us, but I’m glad we both feel the same way.”

 

“Aye, mo chridhe, brings me great comfort ye feel as I do.”

 

Exhausted and spent, wrapped tightly to each other, they slept straight through dinner and all the rest of the night


	24. Troubles Abound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry faithful readers, we are going into a bit of an angsty period. 
> 
> Like cannon, I enjoy stories that make a reader cringe, cry and get angry. Sometimes very angry. Trust in Jamie and Claire's love for each other, even if they don't realize the depths yet. 
> 
> Thank you for your continuous support. Love and Cheers to each and every one of you!

Chapter 24 – Troubles Abound

 

Jamie held his sleeping wife close, inhaling the scent of their love making wafting from their bedding and the unique smell that was Claire. He tried to pinpoint exactly what her scent entailed, growing green things, medicinal oils, and her own sweet musky aroma. Whatever the combination, he was intoxicated with it. He buried his nose deep into her curls and felt contentment beyond measure. His thoughts turned to their joining last night and he was instantly aroused, but his sweet wife was dead to the world. If his Sassenach had one fault, at least in his way of thinking, it was that she was not a morning person or an early riser. Jamie was wide awake, even though they had retired early and dawn was just breaking. Pressing a soft kiss to Claire’s neck, he went about his business of starting his day.

 

Claire woke earlier than normal to a ravenously hungry belly. Not surprising, she thought, as they had been quite active in bed last night and missed dinner all together. Taking stock of her body and feeling a bit tender here and there, she rubbed the bite on her neck and thought that she didn’t really mind Jamie being a bit rough. Feeling much better overall though, she washed, donned her clothes hastily and hurried to the kitchen, running straight into Laoghaire. The kitchen was vacant, except for the two of them, now was a good time to question her.

 

“Laoghaire, care to tell me about the ill wish that you put under Jamie and I’s bed?” Claire stood with hands on her hips, glaring at the blond headed lass.

 

Laoghaire shook her head, “I have no idea what you are talking about,” mumbling and turning to walk away. Claire grabbed her arm, stopping her retreat.

 

“Yes you do, I got the full tale from Mistress Duncan, you can just quite your lying. Leave Jamie and I alone, do you hear me? Quit fantasizing over a future with him, he’s my husband and we are quite happy. Grow up child and move on!”

 

“He was mine! We had a future planned until you showed your ugly fat arse here at Leoch, bewitching him with your medicines and potions. My poor Jamie, he must have to get blind drunk to even lie with you…….you cold hearted bitch!” spittle flew as Laoghaire raged on.

 

Claire drew back her hand and slapped Laoghaire soundly across the face, the sound echoing off of the stone walls of the kitchen.

 

Taking a deep breath, Claire realized what she had done in her rage, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have slapped you.”

 

Tears blinded Laoghaire’s eyesight and she wanted nothing more than to punch Claire with her first, but she heard footsteps approaching. Leaning close to Claire, she whispered in a low evil voice, “Aye, you will be sorry, very sorry for that slap.” She was gone before Claire could reply.

 

Hastily removing herself also, a shaking Claire strode out into her garden, hunger forgotten. She needed to release the tension flowing through her body.

 

Claire spent the rest of the morning working steadily on garden tasks, weeding, staking, pest control, only achieved by removing unwanted insects by hand, and watering until her back protested. Groaning, she sat down on Jamie’s bench to rest for a bit.

 

Deep in thought, she glanced up to see Jamie approaching her, hands full of lunch and a blanket. “I figured I’d find ye out here when I saw that yer surgery was empty,” he greeted.

 

Claire rushed to Jamie’s aid and they soon had the picnic lunch spread out under the apple tree. “Jamie, I did something I’m not proud of...” Claire proceeded to apprise her husband of the morning’s activities.

 

“Aye, probably not the wisest of moves on yer part, but I’ll no give ye a lecture on controlling yer temper, something I fail at myself. I’m sure it will be fine Claire.” He patted her hand, but didn’t smile and went on eating his bannocks filled with ham and cheese.

 

Claire noticed Jamie’s mind seemed to be elsewhere, “how was your morning? How is the foal?”

 

“The foal is braw, but I received two letters from home. Jenny writes that she delivered a fine baby boy.” Jamie paused and looked a Claire’s face, “her and Ian named him after me,” tears sprang to his eyes as he spoke, “I’m verra honored.” There was a long pause before Jamie continued. “The other letter was from my da, he wrote that my mam isn’t doing verra well, her condition worsens and he bides me to beg Colum to let me come home. He didna say, before it’s too late, but I ken that is what he is implying Sassenach.” Jamie finished speaking as he wiped away the trickling tears, his face a mask of anguish.

 

Claire scooted closer to him, pulling his head down on her shoulder, gently rubbing his back. “It’s okay Jamie, Colum’s not a monster, he can’t be that heartless to keep you from your mother at a time like this. Go on and see him immediately. I’ll clean this up and be in our chambers, starting to pack.” Standing she held out her hand, her heart breaking as Jamie’s tortured eyes met hers. Placing his hand gently in hers, he rose and held her close, “Thank ye Sassenach, I willna be long.”

 

Claire wasn’t sure how long of a journey it would be to Lallybroch, she thought it was approximately two full days travel there, and then two days back, but she had no idea how long of a stay to expect. She would make a list for Mrs. Fitz, instructions on some of her current patients. She also needed to get medicinals gathered for Ellen. She would have to guess the treatment, but sounded like she couldn’t do much harm. It would be good to be away from Leoch, and Laoghaire, for a time. Going through trunks and gathering clothing, Claire lost track of time.

 

It was close to supper when a dejected Jamie walked in through the door. Taking in his slumped posture and scowling face, she knew instantly that it was unhappy news.

 

“He willna let us go Claire. Says yer too valuable to him and he has come to rely on his regular treatments…and the stables are verra busy right now, the new foal needing my attention. Again, he stressed my mam made her choices, and I am in his debt, so I’ll be abiding by his word, like it or not.” Jamie’s voice became angier the more he explained, “he says we have cost him a great deal of money, kept bringing that up.”

 

Claire moved to hug him, but Jamie took a step back and held up a hand, stopping her progress. “Didna hug me Claire.” Seeing the hurt look on his Sassenach’s face, he continued, “It’s not ye, I’m just frustrated and need to……I dinna know what I need to do, but it’s no being hugged. I’m going fer a ride, dinna wait supper for me.” Turning on his heel, he quickly strode out of their chamber door.

 

At a loss as to what to do with herself, or how to help her hurting husband, Claire started undoing the packing she had just started. She came to a halt, Colum’s therapy treatment was the day after tomorrow, maybe she could convince him to let them journey to Lallybroch.

 

Claire paced the length of their chamber over and over as the evening wore on. Her appetite was nonexistent, but she forced herself to eat an apple she found in a drawer, where Jamie stored food items and little trinkets. She had two glasses of whisky sitting on the table in front of the fire, waiting for his return. Claire was worried and starting to get angry herself, when the door opened and a wet Jamie walked into the room, clad only in his shirt. From the unhappy look on his face, clearly his demeanor was not improved.

 

“Where have you been? I was getting worried.” Claire faced her husband.

 

“There’s no need to fret, just needed to think. I rode hard until the daylight waned and then I dove into the loch to cool off. I’m verra tired Claire and dinna feel like talking.” He turned his back on her, took his damp shirt off, grabbed a towel and briskly dried himself. Noticing the glasses of whisky, took one in hand and gulped the liquid down in one swallow. “Thank ye for the drink Sassenach.” He kissed her head, “Are ye coming to bed with me?”

 

“Jamie, I think we need to talk, I have an idea. What if …….”

 

Jamie interrupted, “Claire, I dinna want to talk, my head is near to bursting with thoughts. Come let me hold ye and sleep,” holding out his hand and beckoning with pleading, sad, deep blue eyes, “please.”

 

Claire took his hand and let him lead her to bed. Jamie pulled her tight against him and snuggled into her soft warm body, her arse fitting perfectly against his groin. He kissed her gently on the check, “thank ye Claire.” Jamie sighed, all of the energy giving way to exhaustion.

 

Claire stroked his arm that lay across her belly and reached back with her other hand to rub gently against his thigh, doing her best to comfort her husband.

 

Claire didn’t see Jamie the next day until he entered their chambers, with just enough time to change for dinner. Tight lipped and quiet, he didn’t quite meet her eyes or ask how her day had been.

 

Pausing Jamie in his dressing, Claire wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close and stroking his back, “It will all work out Jamie.”

 

“Aye, I’m sure it will, one way or another,” kissing her check, he pulled back and resumed dressing.

 

Jamie remained quiet during dinner, taking no part in their companion’s conversations. Rupert finally spoke up.

 

“Are you well man? You seem a bit out of sorts tonight Jamie.”

 

Forcing a smile, Jamie replied, “Aye, just fine. My sister has a new bairn and just feeling a wee bit homesick is all. Nothing a few strong drinks of whisky willna help.” Jamie looked imploringly at Claire, silently begging her not to mention his mam. Claire nodded slightly.

 

Back in their room, Claire hugged Jamie and kissed his neck, “Jamie, I want to help. It’s clear you are hurting. What if I talk to Colum, maybe I can get him to change his mind about us leaving?”

 

“No.” Jamie held Claire at arm’s length, looking into her eyes, “I dinna want ye to do this. I already pleaded and I’ll no have my wife begging for me. Can ye just leave it Claire, please?”

 

“But Jamie, I don’t understand”

 

“Ye dinna need to understand. This is my family and my situation, just trust me in this. I’m exhausted and going to sleep.” He kissed Claire on the forehead and was soon in bed, lying on his side, facing away from where Claire would lay.

 

Claire sighed heavily and joined Jamie in bed, lying on her back. What should she do? Tomorrow was Colum’s treatment and she desperately wanted to speak her mind, see if she could get him to change his. But Jamie had asked her to keep quiet and he asked so little of her. She couldn’t stand to see him so miserable though, clearly not being able to see his mother was eating him alive. Oh bloody hell, she thought to herself. Claire couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning as gently as possible, trying not to bother Jamie.

 

“Sassenach, would ye lie still please,” Jamie turned and gathered her backside tight against him. “There, now quit squirming like a toad and sleep.” They both drifted off, bodies offering comfort through touch, when words were inadequate.

 

The next morning, Claire wearily climbed the steps to Colum’s chambers for his treatment. She hadn’t slept well with her thoughts in turmoil and she was concentrating on how she could get Colum to talk about Jamie going home, without actually asking and going against Jamie’s request.

 

Her water was filled, but wasn’t heated as it usually was. “Where’s Thomas?” She asked Colum, lighting the fire under the huge kettle.

 

“He’s taken ill. He and another lad disobeyed orders and visited the Black Kirk. They’ve both fallen under the devil’s own spell. Very ill.”

 

“No one has contacted me, this is the first I’ve heard. I’m sure there’s something I can do.”

 

“It’s nothing ye can help with, it’s dark magic, nothing a healer can reverse. Now get on with it, I’ve a busy day planned, Mistress.”

 

Claire silently went about her business, massaging, applying warm cloths, steeping tea and answering Colum’s inquiries with one word answers. Usually they discussed her patients, within reason, and castle life. Colum liked to know all that went on in his castle.

 

“Yer being exceptionally closed mouth Claire. Not happy with me that I won’t let ye both leave for Lallybroch? I thought that Jamie would be on his way by now, Ellen being so very ill. Ye must hold more power over the lad than I imagined.”

 

Claire’s stopped bundling her possessions to leave and turned to face Colum, who was sitting calmly drinking his tea. “You gave permission for him to go?”

“Aye, I did. But I told him, ye could not. The stable could survive a few weeks without Jamie, although he’s the best with horses I’ve ever seen. But ye are our only healer and too valuable to me and my clan to be gone such a length of time.”

 

Claire’s face had turned a starling shade of red, temper clearly getting the better of her, “His mother is deathly ill and what’s going to happen in October? Jamie’s time will be up and we will be leaving for good.”

 

“Well, maybe ye will and maybe ye won’t, I havna made up my mind,” Colum replied calmly.

 

“You bastard!”

 

“Cease Claire! I’m the laird here and ye need to control yer temper. I wasna going to bring this up, willing to look the other way due to my high regard in yer abilities, but Laoghaire filled me in on what happened in the kitchens. How ye assaulted her without provocation. I’ll no be having this discontent in my castle!” Colum’s voice rose with anger as he spoke.

 

“Without provocation! She left an ill wish under our bed and then slandered me to my face!”

 

“Just as ye called me a bastard. I didna strike ye now, did I? The ill wish was just poppycock!”

 

Claire turned her back on Colum, taking deep breaths and calming her temper and nerves, “what if I was to find a healer in Cranesmuir and taught them how to do your treatments and care for your clan? Would this help change your mind?”

 

“It could be a remote possibility for October, but ye’ll no be leaving with Jamie before then, an apprentice or no. Yer dismissed.” Colum stood and dropped his robe, his bare back side clearly on display as he started to dress. Upon hearing no movement, he looked over his shoulder, “Dinna tell me, my ass offends ye also?”

 

Claire quickly gathered her items and hastily left the chamber.


	25. Secrets But No Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jamie and Claire aren't perfect and it shows in this chapter.  
> NSFW & Sexual content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gave me a bit of trouble, I wanted it to be perfect (impossible) and it took a long while to write and edit. Just a reminder, I have no beta, so if you do see any errors, please excuse them. 
> 
> Thank you for your lovely comments and kudos. You are all greatly appreciated and the reason I post my stories. Cheers!

Chapter 25 – Secrets But No Lies

 

Claire’s body infused with heat as her temper rose. She strode purposely through the castle corridors, across the rainy courtyard, to the stables. Her chest hurt with the total sense of betrayal from Colum, but the dagger imbedded in her heart, was all due to Jamie. He had promised her they wouldn’t lie to each other, Claire had trusted him and he had blatantly deceived her.

 

Jamie was in the corner polishing saddles and tack, oblivious to the firestorm bearing down on him. Usually he would have been outside working the horses, but due to the stormy weather, which clearly matched his dour mood of late, he was forced indoors. Head bent and deep in his own thoughts, he jumped when a hand grabbed his arm, hard, and turned him around.

 

“How could you Jamie? We promised each other secrets, but not lies and you’ve been lying to me.”

 

Jamie saw the hurt and anger in her eyes, knowing Claire was with Colum this morning and that his worse fears were playing out. Grabbing her upper arms, he felt them shaking with emotion. Before he could get a word out, she broke his grip and stepped back, arms folded across her stomach, face set in a mask of betrayal.

 

Jamie said defensively, “Claire, I asked ye no to question Colum, how dare ye go against my wishes! Ye are my wife and I expect ye to obey me when I tell ye no to do something!” Jamie paced back and forth, his own temper rising, the fingers on his right hand twitching against his thigh.

 

“I didn’t disobey you. Colum brought the subject up and told me that he gave you permission to go to Lallybroch, you’ve been lying! You told me you couldn’t go. How dare you get angry with me, when you’re the one who broke his promise. As much as it hurt me to keep silent, I did!”

 

Jamie realized that their raised voices were drawing the attention of Ole Alec and a few stable lads. He grabbed Claire’s arm, trying to lead her toward the castle. Oblivious to the others listening, Claire dug in her feet, “Let go of me, you bastard. I’m not your property to be man handled and drug about at your whim,” she seethed, breaking Jamie’s hold.

 

“As my wife, ye are my property, whether ye like it or no.” Jamie bent close to Claire’s face, “Ye are causing a spectacle and we should continue this in our chamber, come with me, or I shall throw ye over my shoulder and carry ye. Yer choice!” Claire realized he would do exactly that, so she strode out of the barn ahead of Jamie. He heard her mumble, “Well, I don’t like being your wife, not one bit.”

 

Jamie hurried, trying to keep up with her, “I dinna care to be walking behind ye Claire.”

 

She looked over her shoulder with a smirk, “Well then, walk faster.”

 

Once ensconced in their chamber with the door bolted, the combatants faced each other.

 

Jamie took a deep breath, “I dinna appreciate being called a bastard, Claire.”

 

“You are right, I should have called you a lying bastard. Sorry for the oversight.”

 

“I’m gonna take ye over my knee and give ye the paddling ye deserve, ye foul mouthed bitch,” Jamie went to grab Claire, but drew back in shock when she slapped him hard across the face.

 

“You’re a brute and a fool if you think you can paddle me in anger. If you spank me, it will be the last time you ever touch me!” Claire spat into his face.

 

Jamie grabbed her arms, squeezing tightly, “if ye try that again, I’ll shake ye so hard, it’ll make yer teeth rattle, woman.” Their red faces were inches apart, chins jutted out in battle.

 

Jamie saw the tears of anger and frustration spilling over his wife’s cheeks, her whisky eyes full of anguish. A Dhia, what had he done?

 

Inhaling a shaky breath, Jamie let go of Claire’s arms, slumping heavily onto the chair in front of the fire, all of the anger and energy leaking from his body. Cradling his head in his hands, throat tight with emotion, he spoke in a hoarse voice, “Aye, ye are right, I am a brute and a fool. I dinna think I was lying to ye Claire, in my mind I told ye the truth, Colum wouldn’t let US go, it dinna mater if I could go, I’ll no be leaving Leoch without ye. Perhaps I did twist the truth a bit, and I’m sorry for it. But I knew ye would try to talk me into going to Lallybroch and leaving ye behind. These last few days have been tearing my guts out Claire.” He looked at her, eyes filled with tears, hands shaking in his lap. “I’d never strike ye Sassenach. I said more than I meant to say, please forgive me?”

 

Claire, quickly knelt in front of her husband, taking his hands in hers. “Forgiven. I lost my temper and said things I shouldn’t have said also. I’m so sorry for striking you.” She gently stroked the pink hand print on Jamie’s cheek. “Forgive me too?” Eyes full of anguish and concern, bore into each other, seeking absolution.

 

“Aye, forgiven lass.” Jamie picked her up, cradling her close. Clinging desperately to each other, they slowly calmed, inhaling and releasing deep relaxing breaths. Jamie placed kisses to the top of Claire’s curls, her head burrowed under his chin.

 

“I dinna know what to do Claire, I’m at a loss. I want to see my mam and the bairn, my heart aches for Lallybroch. But I dinna want to leave ye. I’m a man torn in two,” Jamie muttered into her hair.

 

“Jamie, I’ll be fine here. Colum thinks of me as a valuable property, he certainly expressed this today. He’s now saying I might not even be able to leave in October. He can’t keep me here, can he Jamie?” She brought her head up to look into his fathomless blue eyes.

 

“He knows that I willna leave without ye, Sassenach, so he’s thinking he’ll have both of us as long as he wishes. I’ll steal ye away if I have to. But I canna do that until October, I at least owe him that much for our debts and safety.”

 

“Jamie, I want you to go home. If your mom passes and you don’t see her because of me, I’ll never forgive myself. I’ll be fine here.”

 

Jamie gently cupped Claire’s face with his large warm hands, “Sassenach, ye are my home now, and I’ll bide with ye, here at Leoch.” Taking a deep breath, he continued, “I dinna mean to break my promise, I do not take vows lightly. I know I stretched the truth a bit, but it wasna an outright lie. Ye ken I wouldna do that.”

 

Claire watched her husband pleading with sincerity. Overcome by his words, she offered no response, but pressed her lips to his. The kiss started out soothing and gentle, but their emotions were raw, need filled them both. The kiss deepened, tongues tangling, hands roaming, stroking over clothing, pressing to feel chest and breasts.

 

Breaking the kiss, Jamie whispered urgently, “Claire, I need ye and I dinna think I can be gentle.” Upon her nod, they hurriedly undressed each other with clumsy fingers, clothes tossed in the air. Jamie devoured Claire’s mouth, tasting with his lips, tongue and teeth. She hungrily returned the bruising kiss, seeking more, needing more. Jamie’s mouth moved frantically downward to Claire’s breast, sucking and licking one nipple, while his fingers pinched and rolled her other. Overcome with want, he pulled Claire hard against him and they tumbled to the rug in front of the fire. Jamie lay on his back, as Claire positioned herself over him, guiding him into her core. Sighs escaped their lips as they rocked together.

 

Jamie’s hands grasped her hips, fingers digging into her flesh, helping her rise and fall above him. Claire’s hands pressed into Jamie’s hard chest, using the leverage to rise and lower her hips harder and faster. She reached to the side and grabbed Jamie’s discarded dirk. Eyes tightly closed in ecstasy, Jamie ceased to breathe when he felt the tip of cold steel pressed to his neck. His eyes opened to see his wife above him, still rocking her hips. Bending close to his face, she whispered, “Listen to me James Fraser, if you ever raise a hand to me in anger, I’ll cut out your heart and eat it for breakfast. Do you understand?”

 

“Aye, Claire, ye have my word of honor,” Jamie panted out. Claire threw the dirk aside, increasing her rocking with renewed vigor.

 

Jamie sat up, gathered her tight against him and flipped them both, Claire now lying on her back, their bodies still joined. Claire wove her legs tight around Jamie’s hips, their movements shaky and desperate, striving always to be closer. Jamie brought Claire’s hands above her head, holding them with his own, eyes staring into her soul. Bringing himself out of her warmth completely, he roughly drove back into her tight depths, starting a punishing rhythm. “I mean to make ye call me master, Sassenach, I mean to ride ye hard and I mean to make ye mine!”

 

No more words were spoken as Jamie buried his face in Claire’s neck and continued the unrelenting pace, their body’s slick with the sweat of exertion. The wet sounds of their coupling filled the room as they rocked together for an eternity or minutes, time ceased to have meaning. They lost themselves to pure desire and sensation, wanting to own a part of each other that had never been given before. Deep in her belly, Claire felt the flutters start, then spreading downward into her core. Jamie felt the orgasm building in his balls, moving upward. Cries and moans erupted as they both came to a shuddering release, Jamie shaking erratically while he spilled into her depths, Claire tightening and clenching around him.

 

Light headed and gasping, Jamie whispered, “Oh, aye Sassneach, I am yer master and ye are mine. Seems I canna possess yer soul without losing my own.” They rolled onto their sides, facing each other. Hands stroked gently, fingertips feeling the textures of sweaty skin, traveling across chest, breasts and arses, while lips cruised over faces and necks, delicately kissing, neither wanting to break their intimate connection. Jamie reached around and pulled a blanket from a chair, covering them both. Soon, they were dozing in a twilight sleep.

 

Coming back to awareness first, Jamie stood slowly, reached a hand down and helped Claire to her feet, both groaning from their activity on the hard surface. Jamie’s gaze traveled from the bird’s nest of hair on top of Claire’s head, downward, drinking in the sight of her beautifully flushed body. He lightly caressed a blue bruise on the inside of Claire’s thigh, “looks as though it was a hard ride Sassenach.”

 

“You look a bit ragged yourself, my lad.” Claire rubbed her fingers over a bite mark on Jamie’s shoulder.

 

“Aye, well, if ye bed with a Vixen, ye must expect to get bit,” He picked Claire up, placing her on the bed and lay down beside her, pulling her tightly to him, “come here, and bite me some more.”

 

Much later, Jamie went down to the kitchen to get enough food so they did not have to venture out again until morning. He sent a note to Ole Alec stating he would not be back the rest of the day, and also had a quiet word with Mrs. Fitz, before hurrying back to Claire.

 

While eating, Claire again brought up Jamie traveling to Lallybroch. They talked at length and though it was difficult at times, both listened and respected the others point of view. Eventually, the came to a compromise that pleased Claire, but left Jamie with a knot deep in his wame. The next morning, Jamie would go to Colum and tell him he would be leaving and Claire would stay at Leoch under Colum’s protection. If anything happened to his wife, he would see that the Laird would suffer grave consequences. Of course, Colum would not be happy, but he would be able to keep Claire at the castle, so he would abide by it. Jamie would take Willie, one of the more reliable stable hands, with him to Lallybroch, and would leave Murtaugh to protect Claire. Claire protested she wouldn’t need seeing after, but these were Jamie’s stipulations. She didn’t know that he would also enlist Rupert, Angus and Mrs. Fitz, who Jamie had told about Laoghaire’s ill wish and Claire’s confrontation, to all keep an eye on Claire.

 

Claire woke the next morning to Jamie’s sweet, soft mouth, feathering kisses over her eyes and cheeks, “wake up mo nighean donn. I know ye are no a morning person, but I willna leave without loving ye one more time.” She turned into his mouth, opening hers and kissing him deeply. They made love in a slow unhurried manner with lazy caresses and lingering nips and swipes of tongues. When Jamie slowly entered her, Claire gave a soft moan of discomfort. “Aye, I hurt a bit also Sassenach, but I still mean to have ye this morning, I’ll be verra gentle.” And he was, as only big men can be, cradling her like a quail’s egg, loving with patience and reparation for the night before.

 

The day passed in a blur of packing and readiness for Jamie and Willie to leave after an early dinner. They would ride hard the first night, knowing their clan lands well and skirting possible redcoat locations, rest for a bit during early daylight, then proceed with caution, eschewing the well traveled routes. Jamie was taking no chances of falling into enemy hands again.

 

Claire tried to think of everything in her medical knowledge to aid Ellen, packing all that she had on hand and making a huge list of recommended foods, medicinals and healing activities. While wrapping herbs and tinctures, she found herself melancholy thinking of castle life at Leoch without Jamie, but she put on a brave front for his sake.

 

Horses packed heavily and waiting to be mounted, Jamie and Claire walked slowly into the courtyard, hands tightly clasped together. Jamie pulled her to a stop beside a huge black horse. “Sassenach, this is Gideon. He’s a foul tempered beast but runs like the wind and has stamina for days. If he dosna break my neck, he’ll make the journey a bit quicker and I’ll be back with ye all the sooner.”

 

“Well, that’s reassuring Jamie.” Claire replied laughing. “In all seriousness, please be careful. I’d rather have you come back to me safe and whole.”

 

“I will lass, dinna fash. Remember, no trips to Cranesmuir, stay away from Laoghaire and do as Murtaugh bids ye.”

 

Claire nodded, their eyes locked and she rose up on her toes as Jamie gathered her close, mouths meeting in a deep goodbye kiss, only coming back to the world around them when they heard the ever present Rupert bellow, “Jamie, kiss the lass, dinna swallow her.”

 

Reluctantly their lips parted, foreheads pressed together, eyes closed. Claire’s hands caressed the nap of Jamie’s neck, running through his soft curls, while Jamie’s hands ran soothingly up and down her back. “I’ll miss ye, more than I thought I would.” The words brushing across Claire’s face. “I feel as if I won’t be able to breathe without ye near me. I dinna want to leave ye, mo nighean donn.

 

“I know, I feel the same Jamie. I wasn’t expecting this feeling of loss, and you haven’t even left the courtyard yet.” Blue and whisky eyes looked deep, neither wanting to break their gaze. “Come back to me, James Fraser.”

 

Jamie nodded, “Aye I will.” He kissed his wife’s brow, then drew her close, burying his face into her neck and inhaling deeply, wanting to imprint her sweet scent in his mind. Reluctantly, they parted and Jamie mounted the huge black beast and turned to look into Claire’s eyes one last time, before riding out of the castle courtyard.

 

Claire watched him depart, fingers pressed to her lips, the feeling of loss making her knees weak and her chest ache.

 

 

 

 


	26. Absence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, leaving comments and kudos! Hope you enjoy this chapter, cheers!

 

Taking a deep and fortifying breath, Claire forced the tension and sadness out of her system with an exhalation. She reasoned with herself that Jamie would only be gone a few weeks and she had plenty to occupy her mind. Pushing her tender feelings deep inside, she turned on her heel and let out a little squeak of surprise when Murtaugh suddenly appeared at her side.

 

“Sorry Lass, dinna mean to startle ye. Where are ye off to?” Murtaugh looked at Claire apologetically.

 

“It’s fine Murtaugh. Jamie told me that you would be keeping an eye on me, I didn’t hear you approach. He also said that you would sleep in my surgery. Surely you don’t need to disrupt your sleeping arrangements, you can stay in your own room in the stables, I’ll be fine.”

 

“Nah, I’d feel better being close to ye during the night. It won’t bother my sleep, I’ve slept in much worse than a cozy room with a warm fire, lass. Where are ye heading at the moment?”

 

“I wanted to talk to Mrs. Fitz about Thomas. Colum mentioned that a couple of the lads have become ill due to the “devil” and I want to know what this is all about, see if I can help.” Claire walked in the direction of the kitchens, Murtaugh following close on her heels.

 

“I’ll be waiting outside the doorway, do not go roaming without telling me,” Murtaugh mumbled, making himself comfortable on the rustic wooden bench, conveniently placed next to a keg of beer.

 

Claire observed him filling a tanker with ale, and shook her head in disbelieve, she uttered, “Well, this is going to take some getting used to. Fine”

 

Mrs. Fitz was in the middle of the bustling kitchen, putting things right for the evening, but she stopped what she was doing when Claire asked about the Black Kirk and Thomas. Both ladies were soon perched on stools, sipping warm chamomile tea.

 

“It’s the truth Claire, young lads have been getting ill after a visit to the Black Kirk for as long as I can remember. Most survive after a period of vomiting, loose bowels and bad terrors. Some haven’t been as lucky and have succumbed to the dark forces. I remember young Jamie, Rupert and Angus were all ill, but luckily, they all pulled through, thank the good Lord!” Mrs Fitz crossed herself in prayer.

 

“Have you had an update on Thomas and the other boy?” Claire inquired.

 

“Aye, Thomas is my nephew, and he is still very ill. The other lad, Sean, is a bit better. They are great pals, their crofts are right next to each other.”

 

“Do you think Thomas’s mother would let me examine the boy? To see if I could help in anyway?”

 

“Aye, I was heading there in a few minutes. Would you like to go with me? But, even as good as a healer you are, I’m not sure you can help in this instance.”

 

Claire quickly hurried to her surgery and threw items she thought would be useful in a bag, then she, Mrs. Fitz and Murtaugh made the short walk to Thomas’s home, which lie just outside the castle walls.

 

Mrs. Fitz and Claire, stepped into the dark croft while Murtaugh remained outside, stoically guarding the door. It took a few minutes for their eyes to adjust to the darkness due to the windows being shielded with tacked down black material, a small amount of light seeping in around the edges. The small bedroom was lit by a single candle, where a sweating and pale Thomas lie. The smell of vomit and feces hung heavily in the dark chamber. Thomas’s mother knew all about the healer from Leoch, and was beyond relieved to have Claire examine her son, though she wasn’t optimistic, for she also knew the tales of the Black Kirk.

 

Thomas wasn’t lucid enough to answer Claire’s inquiries and he groaned in pain when she applied pressure to various points on his abdomen. He was unable to keep food or water down and kept mumbling of the devil and saying he was sorry. Claire asked Mrs. Fitz if she could visit Sean and examine him also and was given permission.

 

Claire and Mrs. Fitz hurried outside and explained to Murtaugh what there were doing as they walked to the next door croft. Mrs. Fitz knocked and told Sean’s mother about their hope of examining Sean and they were both ushered inside. Sean was sitting at the table, nibbling on a bannock and sipping weak tea. It was quite clear he had been ill, due to his pale skin and sunken eyes rimmed in dark circles.

 

Claire sat close to Sean and at a nod from his mother, asked Sean in a quiet voice, “what did you and Thomas do at the Black Kirk?”

 

Glancing nervously at his mother, who gave another nod, Sean replied in a weak voice, “Just what other lads have done, we’ve heard tales. We, uh, pissed on the headstones,” he lowered his eyes ashamed, “then we dared the devil to do anything about it. We had a sword fight with sticks and then the last thing we did was eat some Wood Garlic. I didn’t like the taste and spit most of it out, but Thomas thought it a treat. I have some in my breeks pocket, I stuffed it there without Thomas seeing.”

 

Claire looked up at Thomas’s mother, “May I see it please?”

 

Claire examined the green leaves, “This isn’t Wood Garlic. It’s Convallaria Magalis, commonly known as Lily of the Valley. It’s extremely poisonous when ingested.” Looking toward Sean’s mother, Claire asked, “Has he been able to keep down food and liquids?”

 

“Aye”, Sean replied, interrupting his mother from answering. “This is my second bannock. I feel much better.”

 

Claire looked to his mother for confirmation, “He’s right, he hasn’t vomited since yesterday, I believe he’s on the mend.”

 

Standing, Claire stated, “Wonderful, you keep on eating Sean, I’m hoping I can help Thomas.” She squeezed Sean’s mother’s hand and was quickly out the door.

 

Claire burst into Thomas’s croft and explained the situation to all present and what she hoped to do. On the nod from Thomas’s mother, Claire frantically dug through her bag and found the concoction she needed. It was critical that she administer the correct dosage, enough to counteract the poison, but too much, and Thomas might not wake up. She eyed Thomas critically, estimating his weight, then lifting his head, she slowly poured the medicine down his throat. Everyone crowded around the bed, nervously wringing hands and watching. Claire sat next to Thomas, running a cool cloth over his face with one hand, while keeping her fingers of the other hand on the pulse in his wrist, and waited. Thomas’s mother stood, uninterrupted prayers falling from her lips, fingers continuously running over her rosary beads.

 

After what seemed an eternity, Thomas slowly blinked once, twice, opened his eyes and whispered, “Mam”. He was quickly pressed tightly against his mother’s ample bosom. Sighs of relief filled the room and tears were wiped away with shaking hands.

 

Claire stood and Mrs. Fitz pulled her into a tight hug, “God bless you Claire, you are a miracle worker. Thank you!”

 

Relieved and happy, Claire instructed a diet of weak tea for the rest of the day for Thomas, adding bannocks or parritch the day after. If they needed her, she would be back as soon as she could.

 

Murtaugh took Claire’s bag and they walked slowly in the dwindling light back to Leoch. “Ye really are a miracle worker lass. Ye’ve just saved Thomas, Colum looks and walks better than I’ve ever seen and Ole Alec can’t quit talking about yer salve ye made him for his pains. I can see why Colum doesna want ye to leave.” Seeing the look of surprise cross Claire’s face, Murtaugh added, “aye, Jamie told me. But dinna worry yer head, we are leaving this fall, whether the Laird likes it or no. Jamie needs to be home with his family, and I’ll do all in my power to get him there.”

 

“You really are the best Godfather a person could have, Murtaugh,” standing on tiptoe, she bussed his cheek, “Jamie is blessed to have you, and now, so am I.”

 

Claire disappeared through her chamber door, Murtaugh stood bemused, rubbing his cheek softly.

 

The next couple of weeks were a conundrum for Claire. The days passed quickly, she was used to not seeing Jamie during the day. Most of her daylight hours were busy with patients, gardening, visits from Geillis and even some down time, when she helped herself to some tomes from Colum’s study. Murtaugh was her constant companion and she felt secure and safe. Not a big conversationalist, he mostly answered her with grunts and Scottish noises from deep in his throat. But he would give a deep chuckle when she shared some of the funny occurrences with her patients, of course leaving out the names. Most recently in the case of a man stabbed in his thigh by his wife, upon finding him fondling a kitchen maids arse.

 

Dinners were also pleasant. Murtaugh escorted her to and from the meals in the great hall and the usual rowdy crew kept her well entertained. Rupert and Angus offering suggestions that they would be happy to keep her warm during Jamie’s absence. This usually earned them a cuff in the head by either Ole Alec or Murtaugh, whichever one was in swatting range. Claire caught the evil glare from Laoghaire upon entering and leaving the hall, but wasn’t really worried about the girl as long as she kept her distance.

 

Yes, daytime was filled with activities, but the nights, oh the lonely nights. She slept on Jamie’s side of the bed, snuggling into his pillow to inhale his masculine scent. She longed for Jamie’s deep rumbling voice, his crooked smile and twinkling cerulean eyes when he teased her. She wanted to run her fingers through his soft amber curls, give his generous mouth numerous lingering kisses and be consumed by his heat. Her body physically ached with need to feel his calloused fingers running gently over her bare skin, caressing her private deep places and taking her to heights she had never experienced before. Every night had been the same, a desire deep in her bones. Inhaling, Claire told herself it wouldn’t be much longer and they would be in each other’s arms. Rubbing her face against Jamie’s pillow, sleep overtook her.


	27. Return of the Son

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, commenting and reblogging on Tumblr. Hope you enjoy this chapter, cheers!

Willie watched in wonder as Jamie maneuvered Gideon expertly through the rough forest trail, if it could even be called a trail. It was more an overgrown deer path as it wound in and out of brambles and fallen branches. Thank goodness for the sparse sunlight peeking through the thick forest canopy, giving just enough light for them to follow the path. Willie admired Jamie, like a younger brother looked up to an older sibling with hero worship. He was an only child and years ago, his father had been killed by a wild boar during the gathering at Leoch. Colum had brought his mother into the castle to work as a seamstress and when Willie was twelve, he had started helping out in the stables earning his keep, and at the age of 15, started receiving a small stipend.

 

Willie took pride in his knowledge and good horse sense, an eager student to everything Ole Alec could teach him. When Jamie had arrived at the castle and stepped in to become Alec’s right hand man, Willie was filled with resentment. Yes, Jamie was older than himself, but he was sure that being Colum’s nephew had put him in this coveted position. It didn’t take but a few days of observation to learn how wrong he was. Jamie was a master with the horses, he had an innate gift that couldn’t be taught, a connection with the equine beasts. They seemed to understand when Jamie spoke to them in quiet Gaelic and in return, the large Scot understood their nickers, snorts, whinnies and other various noises. Jamie could calm with a word or a touch, even the flightiest of fillies or the most cantankerous stallion.

 

Willie studied Jamie, not just his horse sense, but also the man he was. Jamie was kind, but not weak; witty, but not at the expense of others; brave, but not reckless; honest to a fault, but not quick to share his opinion if he could keep silent. Jamie was also good at hiding what he was thinking behind a stoic mask, but laughed whole heartedly when he found something hilarious. Having no father, Willie realized he was very lucky to spend his daylight hours learning from such a role model.

 

But right at the moment, Willie was getting frustrated at trying to keep up with his idol. “Jamie, I know ye are in a hurry to get home, but it won’t matter if we both break our necks trying to get there. Can we slow down just a wee bit for God’s sake?” Willie called out over the sound of horse hoofs hitting the forest floor.

 

Looking over his shoulder, Jamie pulled Gideon to a slow walk and Willie was soon close enough so that they could speak to each other without shouting. “Sorry lad, I’m anxious to reach Lallybroch, I was being a wee bit reckless on this path. The horses could use a bit of a walk also, thank ye for calling my attention to it.” Jamie wiped a shirtsleeve over his sweaty brow. “Should just be a few more hours now. Once we break from the trees, we are safe to use the road that will take us almost to the front door. We willna make it before noon, but shouldna be too much later.” Willie gave a nod and they continued, his horse close behind Jamie’s on the narrow path.

 

Jamie wasna in the mood fer conversation. His wham was in turmoil over his conflicted emotions. He hadna felt at peace since he made the decision to agree with his wife and go home to visit his family. He knew it was the right decision, but that dinna make it easier. Even with the men watching over his wife, he felt uneasy leaving her at Leoch. But it wasna only the danger, they’d only been apart a couple of days and he missed his Sassenach terribly, especially when he and Willie stopped to get some rest. He craved her warm, soft body curled against him, wanted to breathe in the unique earthy scent of her that haunted him in the breezes of nature. He was unsettled and cranky and realized he had to bury these thoughts and feelings down deep and appreciate his family during the short time he spent at home.

 

Jamie and Willie sat at the top of the rise overlooking Lallybroch. Willie stared in awe at the three story sprawling light stone manner, the afternoon sun glinting off of the numerous windows. The pens were full of sheep and chickens roamed the courtyard surrounding the steps leading up to a large dark oak double door. There were many outbuildings kept in impeccable condition and a large barn within short walking distance from the house. A fenced in stable yard, where a goodly number of horses roamed, was situated next to the barn. Following Jamie’s lead, Willie urged his horse down the dusty cart path toward the stone arch that welcomed all visitors to Lallybroch. They tied their horses to the stable fence and began unloading the various bundles and bags.

 

A five foot whirling dervish in a blue dress nearly knocked Jamie off of his feet. His sister threw herself into his arms, near hugging the breath out of him. Jenny kept uttering, “brother, yer here, ye came, thank God.” Then she reared back and smacked him hard on the arm, “It took ye long enough ye clot heid, and who is this then?”

 

Holding Jenny close to his side, Jamie made the introductions, “Willie, this is my wee sister Janet, but we call her Jenny. Jenny this is Willie, he’s a fine lad that agreed to accompany me on my travels.”

 

Willie gave a slight bow, “at yer service mistress.”

 

“Thank ye Willie, but we dinna stand on circumstance here, welcome to Lallybroch. Now, I’m sure yer both hungry, there’s food in the kitchen. Wash the road dust off of ye at the pump before ye come into the house.” Jenny bustled away through the side door.

 

“Ye’ll get used to my sister, it’s best to just nod yer head and keep silent.” Jamie chuckled as he rolled up his shirt sleeves to wash. “And dinna forget to wipe yer feet on the mat, it saves getting a good scolding from the wee besom.”

 

Jamie inhaled the scent and warmth that was home. Nothing had changed in the kitchen, it smelled heavenly of baked scones, bannocks and fragrant tea. “Willie, this is Mrs. Crook, the kitchen is her domain. Dinna make her angry, or yer likely to starve.”

 

“Jamie lad, dinna scare the young un. It’s nice to meet ye Willie and so happy to have ye home.” Mrs. Crook pulled Jamie in for a tight hug, “yer mam and da will be floating on air now that yer here. Yer da is sitting with yer mam, does every day after lunch, and Jenny went to feed the wee one. Ian is out in the fields, I’ll send one of the lads to fetch him. Now sit and have a bite to eat. There’s soup and bannocks on the table in the dining room. Jamie, ye’ll stay in yer old room and I’ll put Willie in the guest room at the end of the hall.”

 

“We’ll carry our own things up Mrs. Crook, dinna trouble yerself. But we’ll eat first, then see to it.” Jamie and Willie were soon partaking of Mrs. Crook’s delicious fare.

 

After lunch they got settled into their rooms, necessities unpacked. Willie stretched out on his bed, to take a well earned nap. Jamie made his way back down the sturdy oak staircase, pausing and gazing into the spacious sitting room, where the family always gathered. The large fireplace was ablaze and the wooden bookshelves still held the tomes of Jamie’s youth. He poured himself a dram of whisky from the ever present crystal decanter on a nearby table and sat on one of the two comfortable sofas, a low groan escaping his lips.

 

Jenny descended the staircase holding a bundle in her arms. “Would ye like to meet yer nephew and namesake?” Not waiting for an answer, she placed the blanketed babe into Jamie’s outstretched hands and sat down next to her brother. Jamie studied the perfect sleeping infant, cradling him gently in his arms. “Jenny, he’s precious. I canna tell if he looks like ye or Ian. What color are his eyes?”

 

“Blue fer now, but they might change. Time will tell. He’s a good babe, eats and sleeps. Only greets us when he’s dirty or hungry. Do ye want to keep holding him? I can put him down to sleep if ye want.”

 

“Nah, he’s fine sister. Should I go up to see Da or wait fer him to come downstairs?” Jamie asked as he brought the babe up to rest against his shoulder. Jamie buried his nose in wee Jamie’s neck, inhaling the unique scent of the infant.

 

“Wait, da curls up next to mam and takes an afternoon nap with her.” Jenny took a deep breath and exhaled, “I want ye to be prepared brother, both have aged greatly and I know ye’ve always been able to school yer face, but just want to give ye a bit of a warning. Mam’s wasting away and I feel when she goes, da willna be far behind.” Tears pooled in Jenny’s eyes.

 

“That reminds me, I’ve a bundle and a list of instructions fer ye Jenny. My wife Claire is a fine healer, as I have written to ye, and she has prescribed a list of treatments to try and restore mam’s health and spirit.”

 

“I’ll no be following any edicts from an Englishwoman Jamie, wife or no…….”

 

“Ye will, Janet!” Jamie cut her off mid sentence, “Ye’ve written to me and nothing ye or the Doctor has tried is working. Claire’s performed miracles at Leoch. Colum even trusts her. Ifrinn, he woudna even let her come with me cause he’s feeling much better due to her treatments. I know how ye feel, but I’ve seen her work, she’s educated and brilliant. I’m no just sayin this cause she’s my wife.”

 

Jenny looked deep into Jamie’s eyes, a scowl on her face. Jamie clasped her hand with one of his, the other cradling the baby securely. “What have we got to lose Jenny, please?”

 

“Alright, I’ll give yer Claire a chance. But I dinna have ta like it. Now, while we have a few minutes, tell me in person, everything. Start with Fort William and just keep talking brother.”

 

So Jamie did. Luckily Mrs. Crook kept to the kitchen, not that she didn’t have her ear to the door half of the time, but the rest of the household slumbered. Jenny was spellbound, hanging on every word. Respect for Claire grew as she learned of the death of her parents, uncle and finally Frank. Jenny cringed as Jamie described Black Jack and the incidents at Fort William. Jenny watched her brother’s face as he described his wife’s bravery, strength and beauty with a faraway look in his eyes and a sweet softness in his voice. He loved her, Jenny had no doubts in that, but did she feel the same about Jamie or was he just the best option for her safety? Time would tell. Jenny listened as he described their lives at Leoch and how badly he wanted to get out of there and come home, but Colum wouldna budge. Claire had made his daily existence almost blissful, Jamie explained, but now the Laird was threatening to let him leave in October, but Claire had to stay. At this Jenny’s face turned thunderous, “he canna do that, can he? Separate ye two?”

 

“Aye, he can. But I told Claire, we’ll run away in the dead of night if we have ta.” Jamie’s voice rising.

 

Just as Jenny was about to reply, Ian cleared his throat from the doorway, “Am I interrupting ye two? Seems little has changed between ye.”

 

Jamie rose slowly, careful not to wake the baby and engulfed his best friend in a fierce one arm hug, “good to see ye man. It’s been way too long. But, ye are wrong, fer once, Jen and I are in agreement.”

 

“Miracles do happen.” Ian chuckled and took his son, cradling him close to his chest, “and how are ye wee manny? Been good fer yer Uncle Jamie, have ye?”

 

“Congratulations Ian, he’s perfect. I’m so happy fer the both of ye.” Jamie, pulled his sister close to his side.

 

Hearing a creak on the stairs, the three adults turned to watch Brian Fraser make his way down the staircase, across the floor and embrace Jamie as tears streamed down his face, “I’m glad yer home, son.”


	28. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, this is a fairly long chapter. Hope you enjoy it and thank you for reading, commenting and the kudos. Also the reblogging, if you're on Tumblr. I'm annagoober there, if you aren't aware. Cheers!

Chapter 28 - Home

 

A sense of pride filled Jamie as he sat atop his horse and basked in the sweeping view of the fields, pastures and blue of the small lochs dotting the landscape before him. It was going to be a warm day he realized, breathing in the scent of deep summer. He had ridden Gideon hard this morning and his sweaty sark clung to him. Jamie had tried galloping off the restless feeling that engulfed him upon waking. He needed to return to Leoch and soon. Once again Jamie was a conflicted man. Two weeks and a few days at home had passed in a quick blur, but at the same time, it seemed an eternity since he had held his wife, his Sassenach.

 

Jenny had been correct, as Jenny usually was in her pragmatic manner, Jamie had been shocked at the vision of his mother lying in her bed. Never a small woman, she seemed to have shrunk greatly in size, her skin stretched tight over her bones, the sparkle in her striking blue eyes diminished. And Dhia, her skin was even paler than Claire’s, but in an unhealthy manner. Neither bothering to hold back their tears, they had cried in each other’s arms, until Jamie was able to hold a conversation. Brian had stood in the doorway, silently watching the reunion of mother and son, tears streaming down his own cheeks. Once the trio was composed, Brian had sat on the bed, taking Ellen’s hand in his and asked Jamie to tell them everything. Jamie had pulled the chair close to the bed and repeated the tale he had told Jenny, just a few hours earlier. Upon completion of his story, Jamie sat quietly for a bit, letting the words sink in to his parents.

 

Taking his mother’s hand gently in his, “Mam, Claire sent ye some remedies and a list of instructions to help ye get better. I ken some of them might seem a bit odd, but she is determined they will help ye regain yer strength.”

 

“That’s so kind of her Jamie, but I am tired. The Doctor says I should rest and I find that’s all I want to do.” Ellen patted Jamie’s hand and closed her eyes.

 

Jamie stoked his mother’s arm, “Mam, ye have so much to live for. I want ye to meet my wife and hopefully we will give ye more grandchildren, someday. Ye have wee Jamie to watch grow and no to mention Da, Jen and I still need ye. I plan on bringing Claire back to Lallybroch as soon as we are free from Colum. I need ye to at least try some of the things that Claire asks. She really is a miracle worker, please?”

 

Opening her eyes, she looked from Jamie to Brian, “I’ll try, but don’t get ahead of yerselves, nothing has helped so far.”

 

Brian and Jamie both exhaled a sigh of relief, at least she was willing to try.

 

“Good! I have a letter to ye from Claire. She asked me that ye read it first before starting on her list. Now remember, she has some unusual ideas and ways, but none will do ye harm, so keep an open mind.” Jamie placed the folded papers in Ellen’s hand, kissed her cheek and left the room.

 

Jamie stumbled out of the front door, no particular destination in mind. His steps ended at the gravestone of his baby brother Robbie. It was a simple stone with an angel engraved at the top. Jamie ran his fingers over the smooth marble, tracing the words “Robert Jacob Makenzie Fraser, infant son of Brian and Ellen, heaven has gained another wee angel”. Jamie sank to the soft grass, sobs wracking his body.

 

Upstairs in the bedroom, Ellen unfolded the papers and read.

 

_“Dear Ellen,_

_Although we have never met, Jamie has shared many stories of his youth and you are always front and center in his tales, thus I feel like I know you, even if it’s just a ‘wee’ bit. His love for you is boundless and when he speaks of you, his eyes turn soft with feelings of adoration. I’m sure he told you of the loss of my parents at an early age and my unusual upbringing. I didn’t realize how much I yearned for the touch of a mother’s arms until Jamie shared his childhood and growing years with me. I want to ensure that your loving family will feel your arms around them for many years to come. I can’t share all of the circumstances I have lived through, but I have seen death, illnesses, loss and heartache. As a healer, I gained experience with remedies that do help heal. Please give these suggestions a try, if not for yourself, for the sake of your family._

_I am hopeful we can meet in person in the near future._

_Yours truly,_

_Claire Fraser”_

Ellen handed the letter to Brian to peruse, while she glanced over the next page. It was a long list of instructions for her to follow. As she read through the list, she felt a tiny spark of hope deep inside.

A few of Claire’s suggestions caught her attention right away.

_Talk - Negative thoughts and feelings act as poison to the spirit and need to be released. If you don’t want to share with a loved one, talk to a pet, God or just out loud to yourself. Vocalize what you are feeling._

_Move - Even if it’s a few steps a day. Jamie said you love your garden and watching birds. Sit outside when the weather permits, wrap up if it’s chilly, and enjoy the sun. When your strength starts to return, walk. Adding a bit more time/distance each day. Nature is healing, get outside._

_Activities - Give yourself goals each day to do something you love. Knit, read, cook, etc. Do what you enjoy, a little bit at a time._

_Journal - Write down at least three things each day that you are thankful for. Even small things count._

_Breathe - I know this sounds simple, but breathe mindfully. Count as you inhale and exhale, fill your lungs fully and exhale fully. Feel the oxygen infusing your entire body with energy. Try this for a short period of time daily, and increase as you start to feel better._

_Eat - I have given Jenny a list of foods that I would like you to eat. Please follow this and you will gradually recover your strength._

There were further recommendations, covering most of the page. It all seemed overwhelming, but at the bottom of the page, Claire stated this exactly.

_“I know this seems a bit overwhelming, but take small steps at a time. If you follow the foods and medicines suggested, your strength will start to return, then you can add items from this list to aid in your recovery. The body, mind and spirit all need to work together.”_

 

Ellen handed the second sheet of paper to Brian. He read and they sat in silence for a bit.

 

“The lass sure has some unusual ideas, but none of it sounds painful and actually Ellen, it sounds rather helpful,” Brian finally said.

 

“Aye, but it goes against what Dr. Crab instructs. Although, I’d rather try this list than lie here wasting away.” Ellen sighed.

 

Brain chuckled, “I don’t think ye’ll be seeing Dr. Crab anymore. Claire had instructions for Jamie and Jenny that under no circumstances was he to bleed ye further. She feels it’s draining yer energy and in her words “making ye anemic”. Jenny has the list of foods, some questionable in my opinion, that Claire wants ye to eat. Liver, nuts, watercress, dandelion greens. As many vegetables and fruits as are handy, as well as eggs and milk. She also wants ye to drink plenty of boiled water with a wee bit of honey. Then there’s a list of herbs and tinctures that are to be added to yer tea daily. Are ye willing to give this a try Ellen?” Brian leaned forward to look his wife directly in the eyes, a pleading look in his own.

 

“Aye, I’m willing to try anything at this point. I hope Claire is as knowledgeable as Jamie is convinced she is.” Ellen sighed, resigned that she was at the point of desperation.

 

Of course Jenny had been resistant to some of the food ideas, but Jamie had persisted and saw to it that there was plenty of liver from deer, sheep and beef, to prepare with onions and garlic. He collected the watercress and other greens that Claire had recommended and followed her directions from Leoch, tossing together honey, vinegar and a bit of oil, to make them more palatable. He had gotten used to the bitter taste, but the rest of his family struggled to swallow the daily greens. Mrs. Crook had dove into the cooking enthusiastically, willing in any way she could to help her mistress.

 

By the end of the first week, Ellen’s color and energy had improved and she was walking, with assistance, to sit downstairs by the fire. She was soon sitting in her garden, praying and talking out loud, releasing thoughts and feelings that had been buried deep inside. She rejoined the family for meals, and she and Brian started to gain some weight back. After seeing this improvement, Jenny was committed fully to Claire’s plan and was happy to put baby Ian in a sling across her chest and walk with Ellen around the grounds of Lallybroch.

 

One fine morning the two of them visited Robert’s grave and Ellen released the anguish and anger that she had carried since his death. She also knelt and wept in front of Willie’s headstone. She was a strong woman and had felt that keeping her grief and hurt inside was what she needed to do for her family. But by doing so, she had weakened her mind and body, the despair slowly eating away at her. Ellen would always mourn her two sons, but now realized it was time to appreciate the family she still had and find joy in her blessings.

 

Now that his wife was feeling better, Brian, Jamie, Ian and Willie spent time together doing various chores that had been neglected. They trimmed trees, repaired a few fence rails and even dug a new privy. Jamie joked to his family that this last task was why they wanted him to come home so badly.

 

One sunset found Jamie with one foot on the paddock fence, arms crossed over the top rail, staring at the stunning colors of yellow and orange. He heard footsteps behind him and knew his father had come to join him.

 

“All right son?” Brian asked as he assumed the same position beside Jamie.

 

“Aye, just remembering what used to occur here. I had more than a few strappings right in this verra spot. Surprised my arse isna as tough as shoe leather,” Jamie chuckled, looking at his da.

 

“Ye were the most hard headed of my children, I’ll give ye that.” Brian replied. “Never would listen to reason when ye had it in yer thick skull to do what he had in mind. But I’m proud of ye Jamie, just like yer mam, ye are. There’s bad and good in being stubborn. It can get ye in a heap of troubles, but it’s helped the both of ye endure in instances that would lay low most men or women.”

 

Jamie nodded his head, “True. Guess that’s why I was drawn to Claire, she’s a willful woman, kens her own mind. I’ll be leaving soon now that things are going well, and ye and mam are on the mend. I miss my wife.”

 

“Do ye love her then, Jamie?”

 

“Aye, I do, heart and soul. It’s just like ye said years ago, when the time came, I’d have no doubts. And I dinna. I was attracted to her the first time I laid eyes on her in that miserable cell, when she knelt to tend to me. But I lost my heart when she cried in my arms at…..well, when she realized all she had lost and was alone in the world, pledged to basically a stranger. I vowed I’d protect her until my dying breathe.”

 

“Have ye told her yet son? That ye love her.”

 

“No. Only in the Gaelic, which she canna understand.”

 

“Does she love ye back?” Brian asked.

 

“I think she does, but I’m frightened to ken the truth. She really had no choice but to bind herself to me. But, we do get along well.” Jamie blushed and turned away from Brian’s eyes, “verra well if, I’m being honest. Da, I listened to ye about no having bairns out a wedlock, Claire was my first and I pray that she’ll be my last.”

 

“Jamie, being intimate and sharing love with the woman that ye do love, is one of the greatest blessings on this earth. I’m happy fer ye son. Sounds like yer Claire is a wise woman, even if it wasna her choice to wed at the time, she’ll grow to love ye. How could she not?” Brian pulled his son in for a tight hug. “Claire will always have my deepest gratitude for what she’s done for this family. Please share that with her. I’ll miss ye Jamie, but I understand why ye must leave.”

 

“I’ll share yer gratitude with her. I’ll miss ye also, Da.” Jamie hugged his father in return.

 

Jamie shook his head, clearing his mind of past events. He shifted in Gideon’s saddle, turned his eyes toward heaven and said a prayer of thanksgiving to his God and maker for bringing Claire into his life and for his mam’s improved health. Crossing himself, he gave his steed a soft kick with his heels and headed down the slope toward his childhood home. He would leave Lallybroch in a few days and head toward his Sassenach, the home of his heart.

 

The night before Jamie was to leave, he and family sat around the spacious sitting room, sipping whisky and telling stories. Both his mother and father had changed drastically during the time he had been home. Ellen still tired easily and took an afternoon nap with Brian, but Jamie was wondering if it was more for sleeping or other entertainment now. He watched as they sat hand in hand, a glow about their faces. Lord, he missed his wife and was looking forward to some entertainment of their own. Although he was anxious to return to her, he would miss this. Lallybroch was buried deep inside his bones, the smells, sites, comfort and warmth he experienced here, could never be found elsewhere. He was anxious for the next few months to fly by, so he could return with Claire.

 

The next morning the family gathered in the courtyard to say farewell, Jenny and Ellen both handed Jamie letters to give to Claire. There were hugs and tears all around as he reluctantly passed wee Ian back to his sister and mounted Gideon.

 

“Promise ye’ll write soon, Jamie”, Ellen called to her son’s retreating back. Jamie glanced over his shoulder, “Aye mam, I will.”

 

Willie looked back and called, “thank ye all again.” Waving his hand in the air, he thought to himself, this is what a proper family should be, arguments, strong personalities, humor but above all, love. Always love.

 

As the horses disappeared from view, the happy and healthy family made their way back in through the heavy oak doors.

 

At the first camp they made, Willie cleared his throat and spoke hesitantly, “Jamie, can I ask ye a question?” At Jamie’s nod, he continued. “How do ye ken if yer really in love? How do ye choose the correct lass to spend the rest of yer life with?”

 

“My da told me years ago, that when ye meet the one, ye’ll just ken, and he was right.” Jamie replied.

 

Willie still looked puzzled, “But surely at university in France, there were women that caught yer eye. Did ye have no interest in them? There are a few lassies at Leoch that make me feel warm and uncomfortable, but I dinna think it’s love. ”

 

“There were women in France, some I wanted badly, especially after a few kisses. But my da also said to me that a man needs to be careful where he plants his seed. A bairn is a man’s responsibility and if I couldna see spending my life with the lass, then I’d best keep my hands off of her. There’s a big difference between lust and love Willie, and it is hard to ken the difference, especially when yer a young buckie.”

 

Willie was quiet for a minute, then continued, “But the stories say that ye wed Mistress Fraser within hours of meeting her. How’d ye ken she was the one fer ye? I’m not sure I understand.”

 

Jamie rubbed his hands over his face, “It’s hard to explain Willie. She was caring for my injury and was frightened, but trying to be very brave. I had to save her from that mad bastard Randall by hand fasting immediately.” Jamie paused, for a few breaths, “ but, the second I looked into her eyes, my world shifted. I just dinna have a choice and I dinna really care about the consequences. I canna explain it better than that. But I think God was watching over me, cause it’s worked out verra well, better than I could ever imagine.”

 

After a few minutes of thinking over Jamie’s words, Willie replied, “So, I just have to get injured, find a pretty lass to fix me up, the world will magically change and I’m set fer life. I’m thinking ye’ve been no help at all, Jamie.” Willie shrugged his shoulders and looked at Jamie. They both burst into laughter.

 

Jamie and Willie were about a half days ride from Leoch, the dawn about to break when Jamie noticed a lone rider heading straight toward them at a high rate of speed. “Willie, inta the brush, quickly.” Just as they turned their horses, Jamie recognized Angus, changed direction and sped toward him.

 

Angus pulled his mount to a shuddering halt, caught his breath and spoke, “Jamie, ye must come quick to Cranesmuir, they’ve taken Claire and are gonna burn her as a witch.”


End file.
